I got caught up in all there was to offer
Evan Wood sings a lovely version of "If I Fell," on Across the Universe, well worth picking up for this song alone, though there's plenty more greats to be had. Just thought I'd plug.
I haven't been posting. I'm not kind of sorry, because this semester has turned into a sloppy and all-but-hopeless mess. But I'm trying. I'm trying and that has to count for something, right?
I hope. Damn, do I hope.
I've pinpointed why I'm so unhappy in my writing course.
I've just been so bothered, from the very beginning, by my complete lack of interest in all that we do in that class. I mean, it's writing --oughtn't I to be elated? Thrilled? For an hour-odd a week I get to go talk about writing with other writers!
Except that I don't. I certainly don't get to talk about my work.
Some of that is shyness. Even if I had something to share, I wouldn't. I don't. I can't read my things in front of seventeen people and be happy about it, willing to give to that. But often, you know, I don't have anything to share. Why not? Well, whatever all my teachers think, it isn't because I'm a lazy writer. I'm slow, and stubborn, yes. But not lazy: ask my game members. I give them at least ten thousand words a week.
It's a matter of letting me choose my projects, and do what makes me happy. And then of being receptive to whatever I'm doing. I'm sorry, I'm sure that's selfish, but it's not as though I'm not willing to offer the same: I'm a pretty good reviewer, or at least I try to be. I'll come to your story with suspension of disbelief, I'll read for your strengths as well as your weaknesses, and I'll thank you for the good you do and let you know what I think isn't as good as it could be. I'll be patient no matter how long you go on, and I'll likely enjoy the detail. I want to write in a community like that, to people who want some part in what I want to work on. I know prompts are valuable. I understand that we shouldn't only write to our strengths --I'll have to start with anthologies if I ever want to have an editor take a novel seriously. But I don't want to be a literary novelist, right now. I want to be a popular novelist, a genre novelist. I want to make enough money not to have to do something with the rest of my life that will sour me on myself and everyone around me.
So that's that for now. I'll write more later. I just never can seem to get into these long gushing businesses about myself. I'm not sufficiently interesting.
On a refreshing and heart-warming side-note, before Strasbourg is over I am going to break every single one of my players. And then I'm going to do it again. And again, and again. And the best part about this is when the players help me to do it.
-Rantza
I haven't been posting. I'm not kind of sorry, because this semester has turned into a sloppy and all-but-hopeless mess. But I'm trying. I'm trying and that has to count for something, right?
I hope. Damn, do I hope.
I've pinpointed why I'm so unhappy in my writing course.
I've just been so bothered, from the very beginning, by my complete lack of interest in all that we do in that class. I mean, it's writing --oughtn't I to be elated? Thrilled? For an hour-odd a week I get to go talk about writing with other writers!
Except that I don't. I certainly don't get to talk about my work.
Some of that is shyness. Even if I had something to share, I wouldn't. I don't. I can't read my things in front of seventeen people and be happy about it, willing to give to that. But often, you know, I don't have anything to share. Why not? Well, whatever all my teachers think, it isn't because I'm a lazy writer. I'm slow, and stubborn, yes. But not lazy: ask my game members. I give them at least ten thousand words a week.
It's a matter of letting me choose my projects, and do what makes me happy. And then of being receptive to whatever I'm doing. I'm sorry, I'm sure that's selfish, but it's not as though I'm not willing to offer the same: I'm a pretty good reviewer, or at least I try to be. I'll come to your story with suspension of disbelief, I'll read for your strengths as well as your weaknesses, and I'll thank you for the good you do and let you know what I think isn't as good as it could be. I'll be patient no matter how long you go on, and I'll likely enjoy the detail. I want to write in a community like that, to people who want some part in what I want to work on. I know prompts are valuable. I understand that we shouldn't only write to our strengths --I'll have to start with anthologies if I ever want to have an editor take a novel seriously. But I don't want to be a literary novelist, right now. I want to be a popular novelist, a genre novelist. I want to make enough money not to have to do something with the rest of my life that will sour me on myself and everyone around me.
So that's that for now. I'll write more later. I just never can seem to get into these long gushing businesses about myself. I'm not sufficiently interesting.
On a refreshing and heart-warming side-note, before Strasbourg is over I am going to break every single one of my players. And then I'm going to do it again. And again, and again. And the best part about this is when the players help me to do it.
-Rantza