A Small Step in the Right Direction?
I just wanted to share a small and kind of personal victory from my day.
Everyone has had the opportunity to see me sob and sniffle over the stupid decisions I made regarding my relationship with my ex. I do regret them, even if I don't regret the breakup. And I see parallel choices I'm making in my life, with my father, and with my long-distance-sort-of-fling, J.
So I took some steps to repairing my relationship with my dad, recently. We've talked for a while a few times on the phone, which was good. And I actually told him I needed money, which I've been refusing to do. I hate asking for help.
Today I patched things over with J.
It was awkward, and he had to raise the issue, but once he said he wanted to know where we stood, I kind of cocked back on my heels, and I felt like I had to answer him fairly. And I did. I said what I would have said if we'd been face to face, and I said it honestly, without being cruel. I was straight with him, I guess is the way to put it, and it struck me as I was talking how much I did still care about him and how lucky I was that I'd gotten a chance to fix things before they got out of hand.
It could have been a much messier thing. He was very kind about it, though he will need time. And there will have to be some disengagements, things like sending back the ring he gave me --not engagement or anything, but it was a token of that kind of esteem. He'll eventually return some of my books I lent him.
But I think we managed to save the friendship, which is something I wasn't able to do with Jacob, and something that really lifts my spirit.
In other news, I was initiated into Eta Sigma Phi last night, which really made my evening. I can't talk about the ceremony (of course) but my Plato wore Converses, and a lot of the language of the induction has to do with morality, personal responsibility. Maybe I learned something.
So between those two things, this is kind of a banner day for me, and I'm glad.
-Rantza
Everyone has had the opportunity to see me sob and sniffle over the stupid decisions I made regarding my relationship with my ex. I do regret them, even if I don't regret the breakup. And I see parallel choices I'm making in my life, with my father, and with my long-distance-sort-of-fling, J.
So I took some steps to repairing my relationship with my dad, recently. We've talked for a while a few times on the phone, which was good. And I actually told him I needed money, which I've been refusing to do. I hate asking for help.
Today I patched things over with J.
It was awkward, and he had to raise the issue, but once he said he wanted to know where we stood, I kind of cocked back on my heels, and I felt like I had to answer him fairly. And I did. I said what I would have said if we'd been face to face, and I said it honestly, without being cruel. I was straight with him, I guess is the way to put it, and it struck me as I was talking how much I did still care about him and how lucky I was that I'd gotten a chance to fix things before they got out of hand.
It could have been a much messier thing. He was very kind about it, though he will need time. And there will have to be some disengagements, things like sending back the ring he gave me --not engagement or anything, but it was a token of that kind of esteem. He'll eventually return some of my books I lent him.
But I think we managed to save the friendship, which is something I wasn't able to do with Jacob, and something that really lifts my spirit.
In other news, I was initiated into Eta Sigma Phi last night, which really made my evening. I can't talk about the ceremony (of course) but my Plato wore Converses, and a lot of the language of the induction has to do with morality, personal responsibility. Maybe I learned something.
So between those two things, this is kind of a banner day for me, and I'm glad.
-Rantza