And there was cause then, for breathing.
Well, less-than-fun news for today.
First: I am about eighty-five percent sure I have asthma. This is mostly my opinion, coupled with the analysis of my PE teacher, who listened to me suck air for about thirty seconds this afternoon before she gave me her judgment.
I was certainly never diagnosed with asthma as a child, and I've always rather considered it an affliction of second graders. But no, it seems it's my problem too --and what a problem, Jesus. I would guess I get maybe one in every nine to twelve breaths clear; and having been a swimmer, to lose the ability to breathe freely is terrifying to me. I feel as though I'm drowning on land, with no fluid in my lungs and no up to resort to --just this horrible clenching right below my breastbone. And, predictably, the more nervous I become about getting air, the harder getting it becomes. The only relief I've had in the past few days has been from lying in the bathroom with the shower running, or on my side. Neither are any kind of solution.
So I'm going *back* to see my doctor here, less than a week after I just went to see her for exhaustion issues. She's going to think I'm a hypochondriac, but my PE teacher makes the third adult I respect who's told me to visit the doctor, so I just sort of feel it might be a good idea, at this point.
On the upside, I did talk to my mom today after lunch, and it was wonderful to hear from her. She's in the process of ripping our backyard apart and putting in the garden, which has me both elated and nervous. She assures me she's going to take care of babying the seeds I picked up earlier in the year, which is exciting and means we might actually have plants this year. Wahoo. ^^
I also got back in touch with an old friend from high school, who's also on LJ, so that was excellent.
Just the breathing issue (and my bloody poetry class, which is an exercise in exasperation) keeping me down today, I think.
First: I am about eighty-five percent sure I have asthma. This is mostly my opinion, coupled with the analysis of my PE teacher, who listened to me suck air for about thirty seconds this afternoon before she gave me her judgment.
I was certainly never diagnosed with asthma as a child, and I've always rather considered it an affliction of second graders. But no, it seems it's my problem too --and what a problem, Jesus. I would guess I get maybe one in every nine to twelve breaths clear; and having been a swimmer, to lose the ability to breathe freely is terrifying to me. I feel as though I'm drowning on land, with no fluid in my lungs and no up to resort to --just this horrible clenching right below my breastbone. And, predictably, the more nervous I become about getting air, the harder getting it becomes. The only relief I've had in the past few days has been from lying in the bathroom with the shower running, or on my side. Neither are any kind of solution.
So I'm going *back* to see my doctor here, less than a week after I just went to see her for exhaustion issues. She's going to think I'm a hypochondriac, but my PE teacher makes the third adult I respect who's told me to visit the doctor, so I just sort of feel it might be a good idea, at this point.
On the upside, I did talk to my mom today after lunch, and it was wonderful to hear from her. She's in the process of ripping our backyard apart and putting in the garden, which has me both elated and nervous. She assures me she's going to take care of babying the seeds I picked up earlier in the year, which is exciting and means we might actually have plants this year. Wahoo. ^^
I also got back in touch with an old friend from high school, who's also on LJ, so that was excellent.
Just the breathing issue (and my bloody poetry class, which is an exercise in exasperation) keeping me down today, I think.