(no subject)
I have - as previously noted - many friends who are openly gay. This includes gay men, lesbians, a few people who are bi, and although I don't know any transexuals I do have a number of friends who are epic drag performers. So every time some asshole goes on about gay people going to hell or being curable or being immoral or whatever it is, I take personal offense. These people are my friends and I have no problem throwing down for them.
But I've never ever had to. I've had to step up for my straight friends a few times, but for my gay friends ... not once. In fact usually they resolve the issue before I even get out of my chair. Consider how fast and how volatile I am. Their ability to solve the problem before my fist lands is impressive to say the least. But it's not like just one of my LGBT friends is that awesome. They are all that strong. Whoever said gays are wimps never met one. And in addition to that while my reaction to this horrible hate is instant and volatile. I get in their face, I scream, I claw, I hit. My gay friends don't do that. They keep their calm. They control the situation. Despite the fact that the piece of human trash before them has called them demonspawn and threatened their life or worse they're perfectly calm and respond appropriately.
So then where's all this hate coming from? I was originally under the impression that sexuality and expression of sexuality occurred with in a socially supported continuum. That is, even the straightest straight person occasionally wants a little same sex tail and the gayest gay person occasionally wants a heterosexual love in. But neither expresses that because they must conform to a sexual identity in order to have sexual relationships of any kind. This is kinda why a lot of people just consider bis and pansexuals sluts. They're not but their sexual identity is less stringent than everyone else's. People don't understand it so they freak out. Worse, its part of what they are and they don't understand it so ... they freak out. After all no one is a bigger gay basher than a closeted gay man. See the GOP. biZAM!!
It has recently occurred to me however, that there may be a second factor. One specific to men. One of my friends works in a place that ... attracts a lot of gay bashers. If I told you where you would not believe me because ... its not a bastion of anything really and it's in the middle of possibly the most accepting place on earth. But every day gay bashers come in and attempt to bash. There's also a shitload of creepy misogynists. But the problem there is gay bashers shout, misogynists whisper (this , incidentally, is why you should always give a girl the benefit of the doubt if she says a guy was a jackass. Guys are good at hiding that shit and the bad ones bank on the fact that you believe them over her.). Either way, once they're caught they're thrown out. Most of these gay-bashers and misogynists are mentally unbalanced, but in my opinion, if you hate a race or gender or sexual orientation, you're already mentally suspect. In any case, a few statements were slurred/shouted that are making me reconsider the flawed logic behind their irrational hate. One of them intimated - at roughly ten decibels - that a "faggot" was "eye-fucking" him and that he intended to throw the man down the stairs. Firstly, I have a feeling that the "faggot" in question maybe glanced his way. I doubt that he was giving him the vertical stare. Additionally, although the vertical stare really bothers me and on more than one occasion has been a precursor to a violent act on the part of the guy doing it, if I threw every guy who gave me the vertical stare down the stairs I would have a rather impressive kill list by now. While it's a mean thing to do I deal with it by flashing whatever weapon I have on hand. I do not confront. Because that's what they want. But if they see that I'm ready to put them in the hospital, they don't press the issue. But the point is, if a guy messes with me, that's on him. Yeah it sucks for me, but he's not getting close enough to me to infect me with anything and it's not like he's going to make me gay or anything. So while I'll occasionally get in the face of a guy who's openly harassing me, I do it in a way that he's the one who feels ashamed which means waiting for him to say or do something highly visible. But I think gay bashers are afraid that they'll somehow be turned gay by just a look or an unwanted touch. That's not going to happen. And while I'd love to be in a world where I could go psycho on every man who whistled at me its also inappropriate to respond to every glance as if its rape. Besides I still doubt the "faggot" did anything to indicate that he was gay or did anything to put the guy out. Hence, he probably found the guy he yelled at attractive and projected his discomfort with his feelings onto the man.
The other thing that was shouted was something about the gay men turning all the hot women into lesbians. Now ... there's so much I can say in response to that. I myself have cursed my sexuality, because I get really tired of men treating me like a second class citizen. I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't see me as a person. At least with women they'd have to recognize my humanity. But ... I'm not a lesbian. Or even bi. I just can't get sexually stimulated for another woman. That said, I have led a number of misogynists who wanted a piece of me to believe I only go for girls because ... they wouldn't take no for an answer any other way. And a few of them pressed the issue after that too. Which ... dude, I like men but I like a very specific sort of man, and if you don't fit that image then from the standpoint of my sexual interest you may as well be another species. I'm not going to change my mind for threats, coercion, bribes, or anything else. But it also occurred to me all these guys who come after me aggressively also express a belief that they have a right to me. I know that's ridiculous, you know that's ridiculous, even they once you sit them down and really explain it to them usually get that its ridiculous, but ... they still behave in this manner. To them "no" means something more akin to "I am confused and don't understand that I am actually a commercial object rather than a human being; could you restate the query and bust me out of my delusions of autonomy?" Hence rather than getting pissed at themselves for being unable to attract me or getting pissed at me for having the wherewithall to refuse they seek out a third party. Gay men treat me good. They're safe, they'll step up for me just as much as I'll step up for them, they respect and don't take offense at my dreams and desires, they'll even tell me I'm beautiful. That's awesome. There are straight men who do that too and believe me, if I found a straight guy like that who was attractive to me and found me attractive, I'd be screwing his brains out constantly. He'd be the one with the headaches. But there are also a ton of straight guys and wannabe straight guys who don't want to humanize me. So, because I can tell them no and they think it's because the gay guys are giving me a big head (no pun intended) they blame the gay guys. For treating me like a person.
Hence gay bashers fucking suck. Nothing about their hate is rational or appropriate. It's just all mean, pointless, and destructive. If a guy calls a LGBT an "it" or goes on about "faggots" or ... really anything like that ... don't give him any. Piece of garbage doesn't deserve it. Let such a man live a life of celibacy.
But I've never ever had to. I've had to step up for my straight friends a few times, but for my gay friends ... not once. In fact usually they resolve the issue before I even get out of my chair. Consider how fast and how volatile I am. Their ability to solve the problem before my fist lands is impressive to say the least. But it's not like just one of my LGBT friends is that awesome. They are all that strong. Whoever said gays are wimps never met one. And in addition to that while my reaction to this horrible hate is instant and volatile. I get in their face, I scream, I claw, I hit. My gay friends don't do that. They keep their calm. They control the situation. Despite the fact that the piece of human trash before them has called them demonspawn and threatened their life or worse they're perfectly calm and respond appropriately.
So then where's all this hate coming from? I was originally under the impression that sexuality and expression of sexuality occurred with in a socially supported continuum. That is, even the straightest straight person occasionally wants a little same sex tail and the gayest gay person occasionally wants a heterosexual love in. But neither expresses that because they must conform to a sexual identity in order to have sexual relationships of any kind. This is kinda why a lot of people just consider bis and pansexuals sluts. They're not but their sexual identity is less stringent than everyone else's. People don't understand it so they freak out. Worse, its part of what they are and they don't understand it so ... they freak out. After all no one is a bigger gay basher than a closeted gay man. See the GOP. biZAM!!
It has recently occurred to me however, that there may be a second factor. One specific to men. One of my friends works in a place that ... attracts a lot of gay bashers. If I told you where you would not believe me because ... its not a bastion of anything really and it's in the middle of possibly the most accepting place on earth. But every day gay bashers come in and attempt to bash. There's also a shitload of creepy misogynists. But the problem there is gay bashers shout, misogynists whisper (this , incidentally, is why you should always give a girl the benefit of the doubt if she says a guy was a jackass. Guys are good at hiding that shit and the bad ones bank on the fact that you believe them over her.). Either way, once they're caught they're thrown out. Most of these gay-bashers and misogynists are mentally unbalanced, but in my opinion, if you hate a race or gender or sexual orientation, you're already mentally suspect. In any case, a few statements were slurred/shouted that are making me reconsider the flawed logic behind their irrational hate. One of them intimated - at roughly ten decibels - that a "faggot" was "eye-fucking" him and that he intended to throw the man down the stairs. Firstly, I have a feeling that the "faggot" in question maybe glanced his way. I doubt that he was giving him the vertical stare. Additionally, although the vertical stare really bothers me and on more than one occasion has been a precursor to a violent act on the part of the guy doing it, if I threw every guy who gave me the vertical stare down the stairs I would have a rather impressive kill list by now. While it's a mean thing to do I deal with it by flashing whatever weapon I have on hand. I do not confront. Because that's what they want. But if they see that I'm ready to put them in the hospital, they don't press the issue. But the point is, if a guy messes with me, that's on him. Yeah it sucks for me, but he's not getting close enough to me to infect me with anything and it's not like he's going to make me gay or anything. So while I'll occasionally get in the face of a guy who's openly harassing me, I do it in a way that he's the one who feels ashamed which means waiting for him to say or do something highly visible. But I think gay bashers are afraid that they'll somehow be turned gay by just a look or an unwanted touch. That's not going to happen. And while I'd love to be in a world where I could go psycho on every man who whistled at me its also inappropriate to respond to every glance as if its rape. Besides I still doubt the "faggot" did anything to indicate that he was gay or did anything to put the guy out. Hence, he probably found the guy he yelled at attractive and projected his discomfort with his feelings onto the man.
The other thing that was shouted was something about the gay men turning all the hot women into lesbians. Now ... there's so much I can say in response to that. I myself have cursed my sexuality, because I get really tired of men treating me like a second class citizen. I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't see me as a person. At least with women they'd have to recognize my humanity. But ... I'm not a lesbian. Or even bi. I just can't get sexually stimulated for another woman. That said, I have led a number of misogynists who wanted a piece of me to believe I only go for girls because ... they wouldn't take no for an answer any other way. And a few of them pressed the issue after that too. Which ... dude, I like men but I like a very specific sort of man, and if you don't fit that image then from the standpoint of my sexual interest you may as well be another species. I'm not going to change my mind for threats, coercion, bribes, or anything else. But it also occurred to me all these guys who come after me aggressively also express a belief that they have a right to me. I know that's ridiculous, you know that's ridiculous, even they once you sit them down and really explain it to them usually get that its ridiculous, but ... they still behave in this manner. To them "no" means something more akin to "I am confused and don't understand that I am actually a commercial object rather than a human being; could you restate the query and bust me out of my delusions of autonomy?" Hence rather than getting pissed at themselves for being unable to attract me or getting pissed at me for having the wherewithall to refuse they seek out a third party. Gay men treat me good. They're safe, they'll step up for me just as much as I'll step up for them, they respect and don't take offense at my dreams and desires, they'll even tell me I'm beautiful. That's awesome. There are straight men who do that too and believe me, if I found a straight guy like that who was attractive to me and found me attractive, I'd be screwing his brains out constantly. He'd be the one with the headaches. But there are also a ton of straight guys and wannabe straight guys who don't want to humanize me. So, because I can tell them no and they think it's because the gay guys are giving me a big head (no pun intended) they blame the gay guys. For treating me like a person.
Hence gay bashers fucking suck. Nothing about their hate is rational or appropriate. It's just all mean, pointless, and destructive. If a guy calls a LGBT an "it" or goes on about "faggots" or ... really anything like that ... don't give him any. Piece of garbage doesn't deserve it. Let such a man live a life of celibacy.