(no subject)
Still missing some of my friends in Japan. Am worried. Most of those I'm missing are in Aomori. Hence why I'm freaking the fuck out.
In other news I've been reading a lot of news and ... I do not like it. I figure things like war and humanitarian crises are largely an extension of political or social stupid that was allowed for whatever reason to extend to it's furthest ridiculousness. Obviously that's not a waterproof theory but ... basically you supply a crazy charismatic guy with weapons and a sense of invincibility and leave him alone for thirty years in a highly volatile area he's going to torture some innocent people. But bad decisions aside there's also social stuff that should not be allowed to stand.
I met with a few of my friends I haven't seen for a bit today and ... three smart girls talking is kinda a recipe for male discomfort. But see, it wouldn't be if you guys weren't so damned insecure. Yes. We talk about your junk. Enjoy it because the next conversation will be over your head. But basically ... all of us are girls who love sex and are perfectly willing to engage in it assuming safety from cultural stigma and disease and without requiring a relationship. The reason I'm upset is there have been a number of "news" pieces that say things like the hookup culture is bad for women, women don't like sex, or educational opportunities for women made it harder for them to get married and isn't that what it's all about. But see ... I'm more terrified of marriage than anything else. Even women who spent their childhood in homes with both parents who loved each other and them get that marriage is often a raw deal for the wife. It's not always so, but ... its kinda a high stakes game. Except that doesn't work either. Guys in a heterosexual marriage get ... pretty much everything. Women are lucky if we break even. If life is just so-so and we lose all our dreams we're supposed to be deliriously happy and the subject of envy by unmarried women. Really? How could I be happy like that? Even if I only wanted one guy my entire life which just from a rational perspective I consider detrimental, I will never be able to give up my dreams for anyone especially someone who doesn't want to make any concessions to me. And that's not selfish. Why should I sublilmate my personhood when I can contribute to society more, be a more fulfilled person, have healthier happier offspring and just in general have everything but that stupid white dress? I'm much better off as a serial monogamist or even entirely alone.
And then there's the "women don't like sex" theory. Firstly, we do, but aside from that we'd like it a lot more if men knew the first thing about the female orgasm. And with the amount of porn you guys watch I would think you might have figured it out by now. What, do you need a roadmap? But the other problem is there's a social idea that women are responsible for all the bad shit that comes out of sex. If we could distribute that a little more evenly you'd find a lot more girls especially smart girls would be far more actively interested in sex. Don't get all pissy about having to wear a condom or her taking birth control, be willing to take some of the responsibility yourself, and stop calling every girl you don't like a slut and ... you get more sex. See? Good for everyone.
A correlate of this is that "slutty girls are making men less interested in marriage so hate the sluts and settle for a stupid guy." Again, marriage for women is not so attractive. It's certainly nothing I'd be willing to "settle" for. And if the guy is one of those who looks for the "highest score" every other night then he's kinda not ever worth it. Such a man is probably diseased and if not diseased doesn't value relationships enough to really engage in one. There's nothing wrong with hooking up. There is something wrong with trying for a relationship and expecting her to make all the concessions. That said .... my goal is neither hookups nor marriage and I will not be coerced, threatened, or cajoled into any of them. This in no way morally or ethically implicates me because ... I'm more than my genetalia or childbearing potential. Don't get me wrong, my children are going to be awesome. Hopefully moreso than me. But, they will also be in awe of their mother because I have every intention of leaving the kind of legacy that takes a lifetime to set in action. And I expect the same of my sons AND my daughters. The point is, there are men as great as me, but they are few and far between. If I "settle" and then proceed to continue to make concessions I will very likely be doing so to a guy who isn't as great as me and is intellectually incapable of accomplishing what I can. Facts of life. This means all the great things I can do will not be done until a later date.
Marriage can be great. But it doesn't have to be the end all be all for all women. And no one should judge me for not being interested. Rather I should, and will judge them.
In other news I've been reading a lot of news and ... I do not like it. I figure things like war and humanitarian crises are largely an extension of political or social stupid that was allowed for whatever reason to extend to it's furthest ridiculousness. Obviously that's not a waterproof theory but ... basically you supply a crazy charismatic guy with weapons and a sense of invincibility and leave him alone for thirty years in a highly volatile area he's going to torture some innocent people. But bad decisions aside there's also social stuff that should not be allowed to stand.
I met with a few of my friends I haven't seen for a bit today and ... three smart girls talking is kinda a recipe for male discomfort. But see, it wouldn't be if you guys weren't so damned insecure. Yes. We talk about your junk. Enjoy it because the next conversation will be over your head. But basically ... all of us are girls who love sex and are perfectly willing to engage in it assuming safety from cultural stigma and disease and without requiring a relationship. The reason I'm upset is there have been a number of "news" pieces that say things like the hookup culture is bad for women, women don't like sex, or educational opportunities for women made it harder for them to get married and isn't that what it's all about. But see ... I'm more terrified of marriage than anything else. Even women who spent their childhood in homes with both parents who loved each other and them get that marriage is often a raw deal for the wife. It's not always so, but ... its kinda a high stakes game. Except that doesn't work either. Guys in a heterosexual marriage get ... pretty much everything. Women are lucky if we break even. If life is just so-so and we lose all our dreams we're supposed to be deliriously happy and the subject of envy by unmarried women. Really? How could I be happy like that? Even if I only wanted one guy my entire life which just from a rational perspective I consider detrimental, I will never be able to give up my dreams for anyone especially someone who doesn't want to make any concessions to me. And that's not selfish. Why should I sublilmate my personhood when I can contribute to society more, be a more fulfilled person, have healthier happier offspring and just in general have everything but that stupid white dress? I'm much better off as a serial monogamist or even entirely alone.
And then there's the "women don't like sex" theory. Firstly, we do, but aside from that we'd like it a lot more if men knew the first thing about the female orgasm. And with the amount of porn you guys watch I would think you might have figured it out by now. What, do you need a roadmap? But the other problem is there's a social idea that women are responsible for all the bad shit that comes out of sex. If we could distribute that a little more evenly you'd find a lot more girls especially smart girls would be far more actively interested in sex. Don't get all pissy about having to wear a condom or her taking birth control, be willing to take some of the responsibility yourself, and stop calling every girl you don't like a slut and ... you get more sex. See? Good for everyone.
A correlate of this is that "slutty girls are making men less interested in marriage so hate the sluts and settle for a stupid guy." Again, marriage for women is not so attractive. It's certainly nothing I'd be willing to "settle" for. And if the guy is one of those who looks for the "highest score" every other night then he's kinda not ever worth it. Such a man is probably diseased and if not diseased doesn't value relationships enough to really engage in one. There's nothing wrong with hooking up. There is something wrong with trying for a relationship and expecting her to make all the concessions. That said .... my goal is neither hookups nor marriage and I will not be coerced, threatened, or cajoled into any of them. This in no way morally or ethically implicates me because ... I'm more than my genetalia or childbearing potential. Don't get me wrong, my children are going to be awesome. Hopefully moreso than me. But, they will also be in awe of their mother because I have every intention of leaving the kind of legacy that takes a lifetime to set in action. And I expect the same of my sons AND my daughters. The point is, there are men as great as me, but they are few and far between. If I "settle" and then proceed to continue to make concessions I will very likely be doing so to a guy who isn't as great as me and is intellectually incapable of accomplishing what I can. Facts of life. This means all the great things I can do will not be done until a later date.
Marriage can be great. But it doesn't have to be the end all be all for all women. And no one should judge me for not being interested. Rather I should, and will judge them.