(no subject)
So one of my friends told me that there was a tango on Glee. I don't watch Glee because ... I didn't like the original iteration of most of those songs and I can't imagine that a high school chorus with a cleverly snarky villain could make that better. So I could have gone my entire life without watching an episode of Glee. But no. She had to be told by her roomies and then tell me to watch and critique it.
And I did. Essentially ... it's one of those that is so damned bad, it's not even a tango. It is ballroom tango which ... I try so hard to be nice, but there's really nothing good or even sensical about ballroom tango. Quick quick slow slow?? What the hell is that?? But the sad thing is ... I don't think I'm even qualified to critique this. I do Argentine tango, and I do it in the no shortcuts way. So if there's a leg around someone's torso ... we all knew it was coming. I think my problem is that there's no ... fluidity in ballroom tango. It's all snappy snappy dramatic look and weird march. Argentine tango aka real tango is necessarily fluid. In fact after slamming my fist into my lower abdomen to make a rather intimidating sound and also convince my class that that and only that is what you use to execute a controlled pivot they started demonstrating far more fluidity. The reason is in every step you engage your diaphragm and abdominals and often twist your obliques as far as they can go. The nature of that muscle group is that they are not particularly snappy. Tango is sexy because of that strength and fluidity. Ballroom tango strikes me as manufactured sexy and sexy cannot be manufactured.
To that end (of course) my shoes really really really hurt. They no longer cause gaping blisters along my toes, but there are still distinct red lines. However, you should see my legs in them. I look awesome. Where there was once only muscly whiteness there are now curvy bond legs. I could be in a White Snake video ... whatever the hell that means ... I could even wear capris. These shoes make me want to drape scant lace fabric about my hips and pretend that that counts as a skirt. They are epic shoes full of win. Even my poor blistered toes look excellent in them. I was walking by a mirror in my work out clothes today, I saw my toes and I was like, "who 'dat sexy lady?" This is all good because the dress I'm wearing is going to have slits roughly as high as an elephants eye. Now that I know my legs with these shoes will be full of win, I'm less concerned about the dress. Basically from the natural waist upwards I'm perfect and from the waist down there's a few issues, mostly due to muscle, but now that we've cleared up the biggest problem aka most of my body weight Imma be a purty girl.
My shoes are that awesome.
I also told my students "stop ... hammertime" today. It was awesome. But really ... I mean ... when am I not?
And I did. Essentially ... it's one of those that is so damned bad, it's not even a tango. It is ballroom tango which ... I try so hard to be nice, but there's really nothing good or even sensical about ballroom tango. Quick quick slow slow?? What the hell is that?? But the sad thing is ... I don't think I'm even qualified to critique this. I do Argentine tango, and I do it in the no shortcuts way. So if there's a leg around someone's torso ... we all knew it was coming. I think my problem is that there's no ... fluidity in ballroom tango. It's all snappy snappy dramatic look and weird march. Argentine tango aka real tango is necessarily fluid. In fact after slamming my fist into my lower abdomen to make a rather intimidating sound and also convince my class that that and only that is what you use to execute a controlled pivot they started demonstrating far more fluidity. The reason is in every step you engage your diaphragm and abdominals and often twist your obliques as far as they can go. The nature of that muscle group is that they are not particularly snappy. Tango is sexy because of that strength and fluidity. Ballroom tango strikes me as manufactured sexy and sexy cannot be manufactured.
To that end (of course) my shoes really really really hurt. They no longer cause gaping blisters along my toes, but there are still distinct red lines. However, you should see my legs in them. I look awesome. Where there was once only muscly whiteness there are now curvy bond legs. I could be in a White Snake video ... whatever the hell that means ... I could even wear capris. These shoes make me want to drape scant lace fabric about my hips and pretend that that counts as a skirt. They are epic shoes full of win. Even my poor blistered toes look excellent in them. I was walking by a mirror in my work out clothes today, I saw my toes and I was like, "who 'dat sexy lady?" This is all good because the dress I'm wearing is going to have slits roughly as high as an elephants eye. Now that I know my legs with these shoes will be full of win, I'm less concerned about the dress. Basically from the natural waist upwards I'm perfect and from the waist down there's a few issues, mostly due to muscle, but now that we've cleared up the biggest problem aka most of my body weight Imma be a purty girl.
My shoes are that awesome.
I also told my students "stop ... hammertime" today. It was awesome. But really ... I mean ... when am I not?