lol
Stalked again, a rant by Aranis.
seth_jardain is stalking Aranis
seth_jardain’s REAL name :
Dorsey Wagner
seth_jardain’s REAL DOB :
19th April 1985
Height :161 cm
Weight : 59.6 kg
seth_jardain has dreamt about you :
3 times
seth_jardain became interested in you :
02nd August 2002
seth_jardain’s latest dream about you
seth_jardain and Aranis are the first astronauts to colonize Mars. Instead of concentrating on colonial issues, the two young lovebirds instead spend their hours making passionate love on top of Olympus Mons.
This is how seth_jardain describes your relationship behind your back
‘My god! Aranis is hot as fuck. I want to get him into bed so I can nibble away at their earlobes all night long!’
seth_jardain’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
Since meeting Aranis in , seth_jardain has managed to collect around 10 of Aranis’s old TV remotes.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
seth_jardain spent a worrying amount of money tattooing your name, spelt in chinese symbols down the side of their legs.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hold me my sweet angel and I shall forever be faithful. Well until you get old and ugly of course. Then it’ll be a completely different matter.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
18 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, is that the police? This is Aranis, could you send someone over quick, a mad fucker by the name of seth_jardain is trying to knock my front door down with an axe."
seth_jardain’s Police File
seth_jardain is a right sadastic bastard and should be detained for as long as possible.
Testimonies about seth_jardain
wee_mooney - A daring kleptomaniac
’seth_jardain was a depressing bore and I’m fucking glad they’ve been outted as a twat. Means I won’t have to deal with them ever again. Hip-hip-horray.’
angelphie - A boring stoner
‘Dear God! I knew seth_jardain was a right thieving bastard but I didn’t know they were such a skank. Aranis is a bit of a sucker really.’
ninjageishagirl - Ex-priest
‘I’m gonna kill Aranis for being such a snide fucker. Who does he think he is? I’d love to give him a right slap in the chops! seth_jardain is a brilliant person.’
lirlond - Monarch of lard
‘Thank Christ I never let seth_jardain into my house. God the thought of it all gives me the creeps!’
Carry on.