Not So Quiet In My Head
This may be really long and rambly or it may be short and sweet...Iono yet, so I'm just gonna write.
I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a long time ago, and it was the LAST movie Emily and I saw together (Which, if you've seen the movie, is actually kinda poignant) and it made me think alot at the time, and I couldn't help but feel so empty and hurt and wronged for awhile afterwards, because it made me, well it just hurt (Use your own definition about the thing that hurt you most in life and thats about right)
I avoided this movie like the plague afterwards because it always made me think about her, and how lonely I had been for awhile and sometimes I interspersed that with thoughts of what a bitch my ex had been for doing this shit to me.
So now we get to why I feel compelled to write this....kinda.
Surfing around IMDB today I came across it somehow....and decided to look at it for the first time in over a year. I also decided I wanted to watch it again. This is weird for me because for the longest time even the sight of the movie box would make me cry a little, and want to get outta the room. I even cringed a little reading the quotes, but I still want to see it again.
I think this is important for me as a person. I keep telling myself I have moved on from her, and I'm pretty sure I have. My life isn't bad, albeit a little hectic and I generally enjoy myself most nights. (Guess this was longer than I expected, don't get lost yet, we're almost done)
So yeah, I'm doing good. Now if only I can find myself someone who understands my little eccentricities (when I'm ready mind you). Im enjoying being single and free for a bit.
This is how I roll these days, and the road map is kinda blurry, but its all cool because I like the scenery right now. I want to take all of you along with me if I can, because yopu have been my safety net and help along the way.
So now I'm gonna take a page from a friends page and give some shout outs and some fuck offs!
Fuck Offs go to *cricket chirp* Damn I'm not unhappy with anyone enough to tell you to fuck off! Thats not a bad thing, thats a good thing!!
Props to my Homies go to:
Burnsy-I love you man. Life has thrown you some curve balls and you've been thru Hell many times since I've known ya. Your always there with words of friendship and understanding. Thank you for being my friend.
Tara-Sounding boards should be able to tell you when to shut up, and I'm glad you have the nuts to tell me like it is. Thanks for listening to my stupidity and helping me thru my emo shit.
Alex- Your a dumbass but I love ya anyway....Miss ya horribly old friend.
Locke and Faith-You two have been there for me alot the last couple years, and despite some disagreements due to BS your still here. I love ya both and want to thank you for being there.
Twitch- You come back to us man. Every time I see your journal pic it reminds me of how proud I am of you.
With friends like these I know I will never be alone. These are the people nearest and dearest to my heart and I will cherish them for a long time to come.
Now that I'm done being all mushy and silly I want to go home...The bar and my weekend awaits!!
This went from philisophical and moody and weird to making me feel happy and upbeat cause its almost the weekend.....weird but in a good way.
Does anyone really read this crap? Or do you all skim over it in the angsty mood I tend to be in? Sorry being weird again. Wondering if I should switch to mystalker (I mean myspace :)
or not, because some of the newer people I've met are all over there. Maybe I'll keep both ongoing. That way I can keep in touch with everyone over here too. Thats important to me.
I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a long time ago, and it was the LAST movie Emily and I saw together (Which, if you've seen the movie, is actually kinda poignant) and it made me think alot at the time, and I couldn't help but feel so empty and hurt and wronged for awhile afterwards, because it made me, well it just hurt (Use your own definition about the thing that hurt you most in life and thats about right)
I avoided this movie like the plague afterwards because it always made me think about her, and how lonely I had been for awhile and sometimes I interspersed that with thoughts of what a bitch my ex had been for doing this shit to me.
So now we get to why I feel compelled to write this....kinda.
Surfing around IMDB today I came across it somehow....and decided to look at it for the first time in over a year. I also decided I wanted to watch it again. This is weird for me because for the longest time even the sight of the movie box would make me cry a little, and want to get outta the room. I even cringed a little reading the quotes, but I still want to see it again.
I think this is important for me as a person. I keep telling myself I have moved on from her, and I'm pretty sure I have. My life isn't bad, albeit a little hectic and I generally enjoy myself most nights. (Guess this was longer than I expected, don't get lost yet, we're almost done)
So yeah, I'm doing good. Now if only I can find myself someone who understands my little eccentricities (when I'm ready mind you). Im enjoying being single and free for a bit.
This is how I roll these days, and the road map is kinda blurry, but its all cool because I like the scenery right now. I want to take all of you along with me if I can, because yopu have been my safety net and help along the way.
So now I'm gonna take a page from a friends page and give some shout outs and some fuck offs!
Fuck Offs go to *cricket chirp* Damn I'm not unhappy with anyone enough to tell you to fuck off! Thats not a bad thing, thats a good thing!!
Props to my Homies go to:
Burnsy-I love you man. Life has thrown you some curve balls and you've been thru Hell many times since I've known ya. Your always there with words of friendship and understanding. Thank you for being my friend.
Tara-Sounding boards should be able to tell you when to shut up, and I'm glad you have the nuts to tell me like it is. Thanks for listening to my stupidity and helping me thru my emo shit.
Alex- Your a dumbass but I love ya anyway....Miss ya horribly old friend.
Locke and Faith-You two have been there for me alot the last couple years, and despite some disagreements due to BS your still here. I love ya both and want to thank you for being there.
Twitch- You come back to us man. Every time I see your journal pic it reminds me of how proud I am of you.
With friends like these I know I will never be alone. These are the people nearest and dearest to my heart and I will cherish them for a long time to come.
Now that I'm done being all mushy and silly I want to go home...The bar and my weekend awaits!!
This went from philisophical and moody and weird to making me feel happy and upbeat cause its almost the weekend.....weird but in a good way.
Does anyone really read this crap? Or do you all skim over it in the angsty mood I tend to be in? Sorry being weird again. Wondering if I should switch to mystalker (I mean myspace :)
or not, because some of the newer people I've met are all over there. Maybe I'll keep both ongoing. That way I can keep in touch with everyone over here too. Thats important to me.