Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
Just once, I'd like to identify with a group that doesn't make me reach for my 'STOP BEING ON MY SIDE, YOU'RE MAKING US LOOK STUPID' sign.
Look, I get that finding 'asexual' as an identity can be a liberating experience. Finding out that you're not alone and that it's possible to be a happy, fulfilled individual without having a sex drive is awesome and yes, being asexual does make you part of a minority that is over-represented in the online world.
All of that is normal and productive and probably good for you.
Trying to find a privilege label to stick on the minority that you're not part of?
...also predictable but something of a dick move nonetheless.
Some people have said shitty things about asexuality. Some people, in their eagerness to express their own sexual identity, have erased and degraded the idea of an asexual identity. That's wrong, hurtful and inappropriate.
That being said, my asexual identity is not something I get called names for. If I let it slip that I identify as asexual, it is unlikely to the point of impossible that I will be physically attacked for that slip. My pursuing an asexual lifestyle is not something that politicians and religious leaders are campaigning to legislate against. A potential employer is not going to fire me for being asexual. Being openly asexual will not make misguided parents protect their children from me in case being asexual is contagious.
Socially, being asexual may limit me. I'm more likely to be condescended to or told that I don't understand my own sexual identity. Telling new acquaintances about my sexuality may invite ridicule or long complex explanations and that's not necessarily pleasant.
That's part of what my personal experience of asexuality means. I don't think of it that often. I make jokes that poke fun at myself. I wear a black ring on each of my middle fingers. Beyond that, my sexuality identity is a non-issue. I live my best attempt at an honest and happy life that doesn't include sex (outside of fiction) and that's the best I can do.
But most of all, being free to express my asexual identity means that I support and cheer for all of those who have sexual and gender identities that aren't mainstream because ultimately, being asexual means that I don't think sexual preferences changes your fundamental right to be a person and live a life that makes you happy and fulfilled.
Now, can I please go back to reading about awesome!swans and having a nervous breakdown over deadlines?
Originally posted here Please comment there using OpenID.
Look, I get that finding 'asexual' as an identity can be a liberating experience. Finding out that you're not alone and that it's possible to be a happy, fulfilled individual without having a sex drive is awesome and yes, being asexual does make you part of a minority that is over-represented in the online world.
All of that is normal and productive and probably good for you.
Trying to find a privilege label to stick on the minority that you're not part of?
...also predictable but something of a dick move nonetheless.
Some people have said shitty things about asexuality. Some people, in their eagerness to express their own sexual identity, have erased and degraded the idea of an asexual identity. That's wrong, hurtful and inappropriate.
That being said, my asexual identity is not something I get called names for. If I let it slip that I identify as asexual, it is unlikely to the point of impossible that I will be physically attacked for that slip. My pursuing an asexual lifestyle is not something that politicians and religious leaders are campaigning to legislate against. A potential employer is not going to fire me for being asexual. Being openly asexual will not make misguided parents protect their children from me in case being asexual is contagious.
Socially, being asexual may limit me. I'm more likely to be condescended to or told that I don't understand my own sexual identity. Telling new acquaintances about my sexuality may invite ridicule or long complex explanations and that's not necessarily pleasant.
That's part of what my personal experience of asexuality means. I don't think of it that often. I make jokes that poke fun at myself. I wear a black ring on each of my middle fingers. Beyond that, my sexuality identity is a non-issue. I live my best attempt at an honest and happy life that doesn't include sex (outside of fiction) and that's the best I can do.
But most of all, being free to express my asexual identity means that I support and cheer for all of those who have sexual and gender identities that aren't mainstream because ultimately, being asexual means that I don't think sexual preferences changes your fundamental right to be a person and live a life that makes you happy and fulfilled.
Now, can I please go back to reading about awesome!swans and having a nervous breakdown over deadlines?
Originally posted here Please comment there using OpenID.