KKM: Adelbert/Julia, Conrad: The brave man with a sword, the coward with a Kiss - PG13aramuinMarch 5 2007, 04:04:16 UTC
He will think himself a fool for this one day.
Conrad Weller, the Maou's not-quite-legitimate son and half-breed Court scapegoat, has nothing to tie him to life when they meet. He has grown in the shadows of Court, barred from society by the endless gossip of a scandal that had been old since before he was born. He has one elder brother who loves him (he's nearly sure) but is just barely grown to manhood and hides his affection in gruffness. He has one younger brother who adores him and fights his battles fiercely in the Court that he belongs in.
Wolfram will know better soon. Wolfram will hate him soon.
He meets Suzanna Julia in the gardens on a rainy day. They stumble into each other and mutual apologies give way to an easy conversation that lasts the whole way to the castle. The next day is sunny and they manage to stay on their feet. The third day, she learns his name.
After that, well...she tames him. Gentles him and calms him and all but braids flowers in his hair; like he's some scruffy, half-wild horse.
He meets Adelbert von Grantz (again) around the same time. He wants to think that it's after meeting Julia but that would be a lie. The brash, arrogant playmate from Conrad's childhood has grown into a fine man and fierce warrior with a booming laugh several octaves lower than Conrad remembers.
Later, he will think that it would not have hurt if he could have hated Adelbert.
Adelbert is in love; above his station but Conrad, sweating and sore from their increasingly brutal training, sits at his friend's feet and warms his own heart with the blond's almost-shy stories. He wants Adelbert to be happy, wants this love - no matter how star-crossed - to come to fruition.
Later, he will not remember those emotions except as abstract concepts.
Julia falls in love and, yes, he is young, he is foolish and he had never had a woman so beautiful and so kind look on him with affection. He dreams in modest, fantastic ways; a place in the guards when Gwendal or Wolfram take the throne: a modest set of rooms, as proper for a captain and his bride: blue-eyed children with his father's smile, sitting on his brothers' knees.
Later, he will not admit to such dreams, even to himself.
Julia, when she tells him of her engagement, is so bright with joy that he feels blind and forsaken in her aftermath. He wishes them well, kisses her cheek and shakes his hand. All the while jealousy curdles into a child's scream of rejection and loneliness. He keeps her necklace when she gives it and counts it a trophy.
Later, he will hate himself for this.
Conrad learns of regret too late. Freshly back from Earth, he finds Julia's grave already hidden beneath the new growth of spring. Adelbert, like the ghost that the enemy soldiers called him, has gone as if he never was.
Conrad Weller, the Maou's not-quite-legitimate son and half-breed Court scapegoat, has nothing to tie him to life when they meet. He has grown in the shadows of Court, barred from society by the endless gossip of a scandal that had been old since before he was born. He has one elder brother who loves him (he's nearly sure) but is just barely grown to manhood and hides his affection in gruffness. He has one younger brother who adores him and fights his battles fiercely in the Court that he belongs in.
Wolfram will know better soon. Wolfram will hate him soon.
He meets Suzanna Julia in the gardens on a rainy day. They stumble into each other and mutual apologies give way to an easy conversation that lasts the whole way to the castle. The next day is sunny and they manage to stay on their feet. The third day, she learns his name.
After that, well...she tames him. Gentles him and calms him and all but braids flowers in his hair; like he's some scruffy, half-wild horse.
He meets Adelbert von Grantz (again) around the same time. He wants to think that it's after meeting Julia but that would be a lie. The brash, arrogant playmate from Conrad's childhood has grown into a fine man and fierce warrior with a booming laugh several octaves lower than Conrad remembers.
Later, he will think that it would not have hurt if he could have hated Adelbert.
Adelbert is in love; above his station but Conrad, sweating and sore from their increasingly brutal training, sits at his friend's feet and warms his own heart with the blond's almost-shy stories. He wants Adelbert to be happy, wants this love - no matter how star-crossed - to come to fruition.
Later, he will not remember those emotions except as abstract concepts.
Julia falls in love and, yes, he is young, he is foolish and he had never had a woman so beautiful and so kind look on him with affection. He dreams in modest, fantastic ways; a place in the guards when Gwendal or Wolfram take the throne: a modest set of rooms, as proper for a captain and his bride: blue-eyed children with his father's smile, sitting on his brothers' knees.
Later, he will not admit to such dreams, even to himself.
Julia, when she tells him of her engagement, is so bright with joy that he feels blind and forsaken in her aftermath. He wishes them well, kisses her cheek and shakes his hand. All the while jealousy curdles into a child's scream of rejection and loneliness. He keeps her necklace when she gives it and counts it a trophy.
Later, he will hate himself for this.
Conrad learns of regret too late. Freshly back from Earth, he finds Julia's grave already hidden beneath the new growth of spring. Adelbert, like the ghost that the enemy soldiers called him, has gone as if he never was.
And Conrad sits in their garden, alone.
And hates himself for surviving.
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*cuddles and gives tissues*
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