pros and cons of not being single
being single is easy because you never have to smack up against yourself in any situation unless you do something illegal and you have to acknowledge your wrong. you can be as horrible and selfish as you want with no ramifications, and no one ever finds out. you can fake and bullshit as many friendships as you want to. it's so easy i almost miss it.
being in a romantic relationship with another person, having the closeness of complete accountability and revealing your entire self to someone else in so many incredible ways, is beautiful at first.
but that's all just an illusion. romantic relationships are unique from anything else in that they will put on public display all the ugly things about yourself that you never saw before.
you can either:
discard the relationship in the hope that you will never have to face those ugly things again, blame them on your significant other, and move on to the next relationship where you will make the same mistakes (whether or not they cause the same problems or dynamics with the next relationship).
or you can choose to battle against your own imperfections, humbling and shitty as it might be, and become a better person for it.
these two choices present a problem for some people, because they do not realize that this is a conscious choice that you must make. some people in failing to make the choice, inevitably choose anyway, which ends up being the former. these people usually end up with a history of numerous marriages that they can tick off fingers by counting.
but i have to tell you that the latter choice doesn't feel any more glamorous, especially when you have to face the mirror and realize just how shitty of a person you are and how much there really is to change. especially if you, like me, thought you were pretty great to begin with. even more so if other people continuously told you how great you were. it's really kind of shitty to realize that you are selfish, extremely condescending, pathetically spoiled and self-serving. and on top of that, you have a superiority complex.
life throws curve balls.
being in a romantic relationship with another person, having the closeness of complete accountability and revealing your entire self to someone else in so many incredible ways, is beautiful at first.
but that's all just an illusion. romantic relationships are unique from anything else in that they will put on public display all the ugly things about yourself that you never saw before.
you can either:
discard the relationship in the hope that you will never have to face those ugly things again, blame them on your significant other, and move on to the next relationship where you will make the same mistakes (whether or not they cause the same problems or dynamics with the next relationship).
or you can choose to battle against your own imperfections, humbling and shitty as it might be, and become a better person for it.
these two choices present a problem for some people, because they do not realize that this is a conscious choice that you must make. some people in failing to make the choice, inevitably choose anyway, which ends up being the former. these people usually end up with a history of numerous marriages that they can tick off fingers by counting.
but i have to tell you that the latter choice doesn't feel any more glamorous, especially when you have to face the mirror and realize just how shitty of a person you are and how much there really is to change. especially if you, like me, thought you were pretty great to begin with. even more so if other people continuously told you how great you were. it's really kind of shitty to realize that you are selfish, extremely condescending, pathetically spoiled and self-serving. and on top of that, you have a superiority complex.
life throws curve balls.