(no subject)
I don't know how much I've already written about this, but I don't feel like going into detail and explaining everything right now. If you want to know more about what's going on with me, ask me and I can tell you later. Right now, I just feel like venting.
I think I'm more scared of not finding anything out. The blood work came back normal, which is good, but it doesn't tell us anything. Now I'm waiting for the results of my MRI. As scary as it is to find out something is wrong with your brain, I'd almost rather hear that and know how to deal with it than to hear once again that they can't find anything wrong and I have to live with these symptoms and not know what's causing them or what to do about them. I was supposed to find out the results of my MRI today, but they called my house and not my cell phone. I was siting in class today and had my phone on silent. My teacher stepped out for a minute and I checked my phone and I had 2 voice mails. After class I checked my voice mail and neither of the messages were from my doctor. I was kind of disappointed, but one of them was from Rachael so that cheered me up. :) So then I waited the rest of the day to hear from them, but didn't. That led me to conclude that they: a. haven't gotten the results yet and if they find anything will call me tomorrow (when I got my MRI they told me I'd hear the results on Monday, Tuesday at the latest); or b. they didn't find anything and thus aren't going to call me. But when I was talking to my mom today she said my doctor's office called my house today, which most likely means they have some news to deliver. I'm half-relieved, half-scared. I'm glad I'll hear something so that I don't have to keep going on knowing something's wrong but not knowing what it is, but I'm scared that it will be something really serious. I know God's got it all under control and I can trust Him. It's times like these where I am driven to cling closely to Him, and it's then that I can experience His grace and comfort and presence like no other time. I know He has a purpose for this, whether I find something out or not. I know that He is good and that He will bring me through this. It will be a hard road regardless I'm sure, but I don't have to walk it alone and I'm so glad for that. So glad. God is so good.
Psalm 42:11
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Philippians 4:6-7 (These verses have gotten me through A LOT lately- any time I start to get anxious about anything, I recite these verses in my mind and God brings me this immediate peace)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Mmm... God's Word is so good!
Psalm 119:103
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
I love You, Jesus. Thank You for dying for me. Thank You for saving me. Thank You for always being with me. I know I am never alone. Lord, Your will be done. If what I'm going through right now or what I'm going to go through is going to glorify You and point people to You, bring it on. It's worth it. It's worth it to me to suffer so that You might be glorified and that souls might be saved. Forgive me of my selfishness, my worry. You are in control.
I think I'm more scared of not finding anything out. The blood work came back normal, which is good, but it doesn't tell us anything. Now I'm waiting for the results of my MRI. As scary as it is to find out something is wrong with your brain, I'd almost rather hear that and know how to deal with it than to hear once again that they can't find anything wrong and I have to live with these symptoms and not know what's causing them or what to do about them. I was supposed to find out the results of my MRI today, but they called my house and not my cell phone. I was siting in class today and had my phone on silent. My teacher stepped out for a minute and I checked my phone and I had 2 voice mails. After class I checked my voice mail and neither of the messages were from my doctor. I was kind of disappointed, but one of them was from Rachael so that cheered me up. :) So then I waited the rest of the day to hear from them, but didn't. That led me to conclude that they: a. haven't gotten the results yet and if they find anything will call me tomorrow (when I got my MRI they told me I'd hear the results on Monday, Tuesday at the latest); or b. they didn't find anything and thus aren't going to call me. But when I was talking to my mom today she said my doctor's office called my house today, which most likely means they have some news to deliver. I'm half-relieved, half-scared. I'm glad I'll hear something so that I don't have to keep going on knowing something's wrong but not knowing what it is, but I'm scared that it will be something really serious. I know God's got it all under control and I can trust Him. It's times like these where I am driven to cling closely to Him, and it's then that I can experience His grace and comfort and presence like no other time. I know He has a purpose for this, whether I find something out or not. I know that He is good and that He will bring me through this. It will be a hard road regardless I'm sure, but I don't have to walk it alone and I'm so glad for that. So glad. God is so good.
Psalm 42:11
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Philippians 4:6-7 (These verses have gotten me through A LOT lately- any time I start to get anxious about anything, I recite these verses in my mind and God brings me this immediate peace)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Mmm... God's Word is so good!
Psalm 119:103
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
I love You, Jesus. Thank You for dying for me. Thank You for saving me. Thank You for always being with me. I know I am never alone. Lord, Your will be done. If what I'm going through right now or what I'm going to go through is going to glorify You and point people to You, bring it on. It's worth it. It's worth it to me to suffer so that You might be glorified and that souls might be saved. Forgive me of my selfishness, my worry. You are in control.