(no subject)
how about my dad makes me feel like a piece of crap?
i know he just wants the best in me but OMG. i really wouldn't mind dying.
there is no purpose to stay alive.
why do i seem to relate life to death? i don't know.
GOD. he always talks about how i'm not going to get into a good university because schools make admission and other offers before march. and since all my grade 12 sciences are scheduled for second semester, the schools will not be able to see BLAH BLAH BLAH. OMG. and he talks about how my "volunteer hours" are a piece of shit because they're mostly music-related and barely affecting the world, the community and the people around me. I AM SORRY? he says piano is a waste of time and a waste of money because im going to practice instead of study and miss a lot of school for competitions and how that's going to affect my marks... which affects university shit and scholarships. MY GOD. I know i'm not the smartest person alive but i DO fall under the top 5% of sandwich secondary AND just because i'm not majoring music (because he says i'll end up as a starving musician), that doesn't mean i can't take lessons, learn from the experience and enjoy it. my dad doesn't understand anything about me. i really hate the way he talks. he's so heartless. he makes me feel worthless. he ALWAYS compares me to my brother. he ALWAYS tells me to set realistic goals (even though i do), he tells me all the things i CAN'T DO and CAN'T become.....................
i just want to prove him wrong.
and i will.
i know he just wants the best in me but OMG. i really wouldn't mind dying.
there is no purpose to stay alive.
why do i seem to relate life to death? i don't know.
GOD. he always talks about how i'm not going to get into a good university because schools make admission and other offers before march. and since all my grade 12 sciences are scheduled for second semester, the schools will not be able to see BLAH BLAH BLAH. OMG. and he talks about how my "volunteer hours" are a piece of shit because they're mostly music-related and barely affecting the world, the community and the people around me. I AM SORRY? he says piano is a waste of time and a waste of money because im going to practice instead of study and miss a lot of school for competitions and how that's going to affect my marks... which affects university shit and scholarships. MY GOD. I know i'm not the smartest person alive but i DO fall under the top 5% of sandwich secondary AND just because i'm not majoring music (because he says i'll end up as a starving musician), that doesn't mean i can't take lessons, learn from the experience and enjoy it. my dad doesn't understand anything about me. i really hate the way he talks. he's so heartless. he makes me feel worthless. he ALWAYS compares me to my brother. he ALWAYS tells me to set realistic goals (even though i do), he tells me all the things i CAN'T DO and CAN'T become.....................
i just want to prove him wrong.
and i will.