{meme} maybe it's by habit, they were lovers - they used to talk all night
Well, even if I manage to break the pattern we can at least say I've had a good week of posting.
Or that I'm doing little else with my life. Both are valid options. I won't lie, this is entirely an excuse to post a meme but whilst I'm here, let me just say that I went to see The King's Speech in the cinema again and I honestly cannot reiterate ( Read more... )
Or that I'm doing little else with my life. Both are valid options. I won't lie, this is entirely an excuse to post a meme but whilst I'm here, let me just say that I went to see The King's Speech in the cinema again and I honestly cannot reiterate ( Read more... )
FEVER RAY; when i grow up. when i grow up, i want to live near the sea. crab claws and bottles of rum, that's what i'll have.
SUSAN ENAN; bring on the wonder. i fell through the cracks at the end of our street. let's go to the beach, get the sand through our feet. bring on the wonder, bring on the song. i pushed you down deep in my soul for too long.
ANNA TERNHEIM; no, i don't remember. no, i don't remember what brought us to this. what places we blindly passed, what turns we missed.
THE SHINS; new slang. i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
DAMIEN RICE; volcano. don't throw yourself like that in front of me. i kissed your mouth, your back, is that all you need? don't drag my love around. volcanoes melt me down.
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MORE IMPORTANTLY
ANNA TERNHEIM. VICKIE. THAT SONG. IS ON MY KATHY/RUTH PLAYLIST. ALREADY. THE DREAM IS COLLAPSING
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Sometimes she looks at Kathy and she wonders how they got here, how Kathy ever got so far away from her - she remembers back at Hailsham, nights in their corner of the dormitory when they shared a bed because Kathy wanted to talk, or Ruth had gossip to impart and she just wanted to be close to Kathy; she remembers the weight of Kathy lying next to her, the three or so inches keeping them apart, the heat under the covers and the way Kathy would tangle her legs with her own.
Now though, now she shares a bed with Tommy and she misses the smallness of Kathy's feet, the brush of her nightgown next to hers, the way Kathy's fingers would reach for her as she slept; it's not worth wondering if they could have stayed that way. She was always too afraid to ask.
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Speaking of clones with feelings, Womb needs to get leaked because oh lord, I had all the feelings.
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There was a night back at Hailsham that Kathy tries not to think about: other girls (younger girls) were asking Ruth about Tommy, about kissing and how not to be afraid, so Ruth kissed her, to satisfy that adolescent curiosity; that was the first time.
And so later, in the dark and the quiet, Ruth tapped at her wrist and asked her to move over, her long legs slipping between the sheets and between Kathy's own; she remembers the soft press of Ruth's lips against her shoulder-blade, ghosting over the skin gently, the strap of Kathy's nightgown loose and easily moved. Kathy remembers gasping, remembers Ruth's hand at her hem, remembers Ruth whispering something like i miss you
-- she tries not to think about it.
okay so this? is sort of turning into something larger. jsyk.
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She always wanted to take Kathy to the beach, Broadstiars perhaps, Dickens and all that, Kathy would love it: the sweet shop, the old cinema, the museum up on the hillside. She used to think about just getting away from the Cottages and driving, away from Tommy and the people they were becoming there, just two girls and a day at the beach - they could buy swimsuits on the way, polka-dotted affairs with bows for the full seaside effect; they could just lie in the sun, Kathy with her sunglasses propped on her head as she squints at her book, Ruth lying on her side and watching her; they could get ice cream, hold hands down the pier, sink their toes into the wet sand at the water's edge and pretend that things hadn't changed all that much from when they were young and she didn't hide things. Maybe Ruth could kiss her then: the sun in Kathy's hair, her own legs slightly cold and scratched by sand in the inevitable breeze, maybe Ruth could tell her what she means, what she wants, what she's scared of.
This is not the beach she dreamed of, it's too cold and the seagrass too scratchy and Kathy's so far away from her, she won't even turn to look at her and Ruth knows that all she has now are things she should have done, places they should have gone - no sand between her toes.
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