Thank you so much Necthan. I'm feeling like this because I also think they should have found a way to 'live' in peace at least, since none of them really wants to divorce and start again.
How strange that you have gone through the same feelings with your parent's almost at the same age as I did. That makes me wonder yet again why do people get married... and yes, it's always worse for the children (me and my brother not being such anymore, though)
As for not allowing to be put in the middle... no such luck, they are both incredibly selfish, I'm afraid. I take after my grandma, ehehe.
Hope you're feeling better also, didn't have time to reply your last message.
I know it affected me. I backed out of two engagements to marry because I suddenly realised the relationships were not strong enough to last "forever"...and I knew I didn't want to go through divorce or trauma as my parents did.
Mine stayed married and carried the trauma through to everyone else. It was very sad.
Parents aren't that different from children, after all. I'm sure they'll have their selfish moments and their selfless ones.
I went ahead and PM'd about the problem, but given the tone I've read back there, I think I'm out of the group. It's okay you didn't reply to my message. I just wanted you to know I had not realised your one message back on (what? the 9th?) was about a birthday message and not about the story forum. When I first got it, I honestly thought you were saying 'go read what we've written' and did not connect it with my birthday, since I had already told everyone NOT to celebrate my birthday in February. I did not make the connection.
I'm so sorry - that is very scary for you and your siblings! Even though it's the right thing for your mother to do and they do both sound amazingly incompatible, it's not easy for anybody and I'm thinking of you!!
Amazingly incompatible, that's the point. I sometimes wonder what was my mother thinking when she married my father. She always says he changed... old story... de couldn't have changed that much, it was her who saw only what she wanted to see.
I suppose it's the same old story - she loved him and thought she could change him, but people don't change that much! I've liked some difficult buggers in my time, but luckily for me I've never got to the stage of marrying 'em!!!
No problem - I really hope it all works out without too much trauma!
Situations like these are never easy to deal with but after reading your post twice, I have the feeling that this choice could bring some good in everybody's life
( ... )
Wise words, my friend, but I still have my doubts that this will ever come to be... it sounds so like "things that happen to other people". Most of all, I think it will stirr up things like you said, and maybe help my parent's to come to terms and realize they need a few changes and lots of long talks. Ok, maybe I'm just in denial. After all, I've had my time for wanting a divorce and it's long gone! *sigh*
Thanks for your help anyway, massive hugs are always apreciated. Could we make it a group hug with some of those men we like?;))
It's more than understandable that you feel scared and concerned. In the bad and good things, you had get used to the situation and you knew how to deal with it. Changes are always frightenings but I have a motto: if you can do nothing to change a situation, try a least to find the good things into it. I hope it works for you.
How did I manage you are the eldest? I don't know, I think I assumed it from the way you talked about the whole matter and your siblings, and probably because your mother asked you for help. And because I'm the eldest as well ^__^
I've been reading your mother's story also and it saddened me too. Unfortunately, it's a very common problem.
For some time now the only thing that keeps my mother from leaving is also money. Not that she isn't independent from him, it's their house that's a problem. They'd have to sell it and then she couldn't possible afford another one, or at least not half as good as the one they have now. It will be very hard on her. That makes me sad too... Bah! I'm stopping with this now...
Thank you for your hug. Internet hugs can be very warming! *hugs you back*
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I'm feeling like this because I also think they should have found a way to 'live' in peace at least, since none of them really wants to divorce and start again.
How strange that you have gone through the same feelings with your parent's almost at the same age as I did. That makes me wonder yet again why do people get married... and yes, it's always worse for the children (me and my brother not being such anymore, though)
As for not allowing to be put in the middle... no such luck, they are both incredibly selfish, I'm afraid. I take after my grandma, ehehe.
Hope you're feeling better also, didn't have time to reply your last message.
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Mine stayed married and carried the trauma through to everyone else. It was very sad.
Parents aren't that different from children, after all. I'm sure they'll have their selfish moments and their selfless ones.
I went ahead and PM'd about the problem, but given the tone I've read back there, I think I'm out of the group. It's okay you didn't reply to my message. I just wanted you to know I had not realised your one message back on (what? the 9th?) was about a birthday message and not about the story forum. When I first got it, I honestly thought you were saying 'go read what we've written' and did not connect it with my birthday, since I had already told everyone NOT to celebrate my birthday in February. I did not make the connection.
Nechtan
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I didn't answer you PM because I though you wouldn't be there to see it anymore... Instead I answered you here.
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I sometimes wonder what was my mother thinking when she married my father. She always says he changed... old story... de couldn't have changed that much, it was her who saw only what she wanted to see.
Thanks for the thoughs!
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No problem - I really hope it all works out without too much trauma!
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I know what you mean... I'm glad you left those relationships while you could! It's always better alone than like my mother!
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Hugs back.
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Ok, maybe I'm just in denial. After all, I've had my time for wanting a divorce and it's long gone! *sigh*
Thanks for your help anyway, massive hugs are always apreciated. Could we make it a group hug with some of those men we like?;))
How did you managed to see that I'm the eldest?
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I hope it works for you.
How did I manage you are the eldest? I don't know, I think I assumed it from the way you talked about the whole matter and your siblings, and probably because your mother asked you for help. And because I'm the eldest as well ^__^
Something to cheer you up: water everywhere (not very worksafe)
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(The comment has been removed)
For some time now the only thing that keeps my mother from leaving is also money. Not that she isn't independent from him, it's their house that's a problem. They'd have to sell it and then she couldn't possible afford another one, or at least not half as good as the one they have now. It will be very hard on her. That makes me sad too... Bah! I'm stopping with this now...
Thank you for your hug. Internet hugs can be very warming! *hugs you back*
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