*scrapes dust off of journal*
Going through my friends list and seeing how everyone has left this platform hit me hard. I guess it's a bit hypocritical since I abandoned it, too, but living side by side with death makes one long for the so-called halcyon days of one's youth, I guess.
I was diagnosed with late stage cancer in October 2020 and somehow I'm still here. It's something I wrestle with every day, to be honest. How me with my very small life is still here when others who had so much going on have passed. It's hard not to compare, you know? My tumors responded well to treatment for two years but this year the ones on my liver have slowly increased and it honestly feels like I have a clock ticking down time hanging over my head.
I haven't told anyone about the tumors growing outside of my family.
I've told no one about feeling death at my shoulder.
I think the only reason I'm saying it here is because everyone on my fl is gone. And the people who once were such a dear and important part of my life don't even know me anymore. And I don't know you or where you went.
But I think about you all a lot. More than I used to, but not for a single day did I ever forget you.
This might become a place for me to scream into the void. I don't know. But if anyone's there, hearing me shout into the world, please shout back.
I was diagnosed with late stage cancer in October 2020 and somehow I'm still here. It's something I wrestle with every day, to be honest. How me with my very small life is still here when others who had so much going on have passed. It's hard not to compare, you know? My tumors responded well to treatment for two years but this year the ones on my liver have slowly increased and it honestly feels like I have a clock ticking down time hanging over my head.
I haven't told anyone about the tumors growing outside of my family.
I've told no one about feeling death at my shoulder.
I think the only reason I'm saying it here is because everyone on my fl is gone. And the people who once were such a dear and important part of my life don't even know me anymore. And I don't know you or where you went.
But I think about you all a lot. More than I used to, but not for a single day did I ever forget you.
This might become a place for me to scream into the void. I don't know. But if anyone's there, hearing me shout into the world, please shout back.