thirty-two hour days, wild goose chases, and other fish
thirty-two hours
today isn't really a day of its own, merely an extension of yesterday. lately, i've been waking up feeling like i picked a fight with a mack truck. i find this funny because i don't drink. ironic-funny, i mean, not haha-funny. i go to sleep feeling alright, and wake up sore with a headache. maybe i lead some crazy double life at night that i don't know about in my waking hours...
neither parent nor teacher
...then again, maybe not. i finally managed to almost fall asleep around 8 am. almost because my parents got me out of bed and forced me to almost attend a parent-teacher conference regarding daniel. i say almost attend because i am neither a parent nor a teacher, especially not of daniel's. they didn't let me in. which was fine by me, because i didn't want to go anyways. it was mom's idea, as usual. she wanted me to convey the startling revelation that the golden child is not so golden: not all that different from second son. why she needed me to say this myself, i have no idea. i think she likes me more, but then again, that's problem isn't it? daniel has nothing to do with me, i shouldn't have even gone...
dead batteries and photographs
...this point was further validated by my wait in the car for two hours. i proceeded to fall mostly back asleep with the a/c running. this, of course, completely drained the battery. so after the jump-start, recharge, and trip to the mechanics, i had an hour to class. i used this time to drive out to west boca to pick up my camera from being repaired. now, i just bought this camera less than a week ago, but it's twenty years old. it's a mamiya rb67, medium format, 6x7cm negatives. nice camera, good working order, and cheap too. but the foam padding on the reflex mirror had deteriorated with age, and was crumbling in the camera. thankfully, they had a warrantee, and replaced the foam free of charge. also, 120 film is about half the price of 35mm.
since i was there anyways, i picked up a number of movies from the west boca hollywood video. people aren't bright enough to bring them back to the right store, apparently. then i went to class, a good half an hour late. in class, i printed a few hurricane pictures. some came out great. some, not-so-great. since i didn't feel much like doing work, and haven't bothered to shoot for the project that's due wednessday, i just hung around...
rabid squirrels and book fights
...we went to lunch at the cafeteria. not the cafeteria cafeteria, the other one that actually works like a cafeteria. just like honors college. feels sort of like home, feels sort of like a brick in the stomach. on the way back to the photolab, we saw a squirrel. did you know that squirrels ate birds? i didn't either. apparently, they do.
i watched the class after mine present their books which they had made. the first girl who went had just thrown together some photos in a folio that was the wrong size. the professor was harsh on her, but he wasn't trying to be mean. she wasn't finished, and he was trying to get her to do better. but they got into a fight anyways, and it looked like she was going to cry. i felt bad. phyllis's project also blew everyone else's away. so, go phyllis...
wild goose chase
...after that, i skipped my 6:30 class. i was tired, and didn't want to draw naked people anyways. phyllis and petra and dan and i went to geecee (golden coral) and talked about barfing and other bodily functions over dinner. then we went to wally world. then we went on a wild goose chase. phyllis has a friend that turned 21, so she was going to bring her alcohol for her b-day. at work. but no fucking liquor store is open after 10. we drove to lighthouse point even. nothing. how hard is to find some goose? hard, apparently. i took her home empty handed. and i got home just now. all thirty-two hours running on empty and about to fall over dead. but...
other fish
...there's a girl in my photoclass, and my art appreciation class, shelby. we met in the first or second week of class. i remember looking at her and thinking she looked familiar, but not saying anything because i was also sure i didn't know her. and i generally keep to myself. she introduced herself to me, with the same "you look familiar, do i know you?" i've gotten used to in most of my good friends. we've talked a little, but i'm not sure how much we have in common. but we obviously share an interest: photography. and we both approach it the same way: when everybody else sets up their shots we find existing things to photograph. and she wasn't the least bit freaked out that i like joel-peter witkin. that will usually throw someone. i think she's even heard of him.
when she passes me in the hallways, she'll wave and smile. but sometimes its like she doesn't see me. i'm terrible with mixed signals. i used to be good at reading women, but that's probably because it was always "ew get away!" she seems interested, but only sort of. maybe she's just shy. to be fair, i'm about the same way. i'm interested, sort of. i'm not ready for another relationship right now, and i'm not into the whole rebound thing. it's not fair, really. but in the same respect, i would like to get to know her. so right now, i'm just trying to be friendly. inviting her along when phyllis and i and sometimes petra go to lunch, etc. she's never taken me up on it, of course. but it doesn't seem like she's dodging either.
so today, she was really late for class. she was just coming in the door as we went to the cafeteria. so i asked her if she wanted to get some lunch with us. she said thanks, but no because she was really late and had to get her work done. later, during the book presentation, she waved and smiled at me on the way out. but she left her prints to dry. she came back to get them and leave just as we were heading to dinner. we'd both gotten almost out of the square when i thought "hey maybe she'd wanna come along" and so i hollered over to her. she said she had to go home, but that it was a really sweet offer. smiled, a bat of the eyelash or two, an "i'll see you tomorrow" and that was it.
i asked phyllis's opinion, because i'm terrible at reading mixed messages, as i said. besides noting that she's exactly my type (greenish eyes, cute little glasses, brown hair, and skinny, although we have been unable to ascertain whether or not she has deep-seated emotional problems) she said the she seemed genuinely interested in me, at least in a friendly kind of way, but seemed really shy. phyllis said she might be acting as blatantly as she feels she can, and is genuinely interested-interested. but i still don't know. petra says i should just own up to it, and ask her out to coffee in a friendly not-a-date kind of way.
i like this plan alot, but a- that takes guts, and b- coffee is the international codeword for sex, unless you're talking to someone like the president of berundi. in which case, it's just coffee. i guess we'll see whether or not she remembers i exist tomorrow. it's kind of been the highlight of my day to see someone smile at me like that again...
edit:
damn, not even as much as a "hi" today.
today isn't really a day of its own, merely an extension of yesterday. lately, i've been waking up feeling like i picked a fight with a mack truck. i find this funny because i don't drink. ironic-funny, i mean, not haha-funny. i go to sleep feeling alright, and wake up sore with a headache. maybe i lead some crazy double life at night that i don't know about in my waking hours...
neither parent nor teacher
...then again, maybe not. i finally managed to almost fall asleep around 8 am. almost because my parents got me out of bed and forced me to almost attend a parent-teacher conference regarding daniel. i say almost attend because i am neither a parent nor a teacher, especially not of daniel's. they didn't let me in. which was fine by me, because i didn't want to go anyways. it was mom's idea, as usual. she wanted me to convey the startling revelation that the golden child is not so golden: not all that different from second son. why she needed me to say this myself, i have no idea. i think she likes me more, but then again, that's problem isn't it? daniel has nothing to do with me, i shouldn't have even gone...
dead batteries and photographs
...this point was further validated by my wait in the car for two hours. i proceeded to fall mostly back asleep with the a/c running. this, of course, completely drained the battery. so after the jump-start, recharge, and trip to the mechanics, i had an hour to class. i used this time to drive out to west boca to pick up my camera from being repaired. now, i just bought this camera less than a week ago, but it's twenty years old. it's a mamiya rb67, medium format, 6x7cm negatives. nice camera, good working order, and cheap too. but the foam padding on the reflex mirror had deteriorated with age, and was crumbling in the camera. thankfully, they had a warrantee, and replaced the foam free of charge. also, 120 film is about half the price of 35mm.
since i was there anyways, i picked up a number of movies from the west boca hollywood video. people aren't bright enough to bring them back to the right store, apparently. then i went to class, a good half an hour late. in class, i printed a few hurricane pictures. some came out great. some, not-so-great. since i didn't feel much like doing work, and haven't bothered to shoot for the project that's due wednessday, i just hung around...
rabid squirrels and book fights
...we went to lunch at the cafeteria. not the cafeteria cafeteria, the other one that actually works like a cafeteria. just like honors college. feels sort of like home, feels sort of like a brick in the stomach. on the way back to the photolab, we saw a squirrel. did you know that squirrels ate birds? i didn't either. apparently, they do.
i watched the class after mine present their books which they had made. the first girl who went had just thrown together some photos in a folio that was the wrong size. the professor was harsh on her, but he wasn't trying to be mean. she wasn't finished, and he was trying to get her to do better. but they got into a fight anyways, and it looked like she was going to cry. i felt bad. phyllis's project also blew everyone else's away. so, go phyllis...
wild goose chase
...after that, i skipped my 6:30 class. i was tired, and didn't want to draw naked people anyways. phyllis and petra and dan and i went to geecee (golden coral) and talked about barfing and other bodily functions over dinner. then we went to wally world. then we went on a wild goose chase. phyllis has a friend that turned 21, so she was going to bring her alcohol for her b-day. at work. but no fucking liquor store is open after 10. we drove to lighthouse point even. nothing. how hard is to find some goose? hard, apparently. i took her home empty handed. and i got home just now. all thirty-two hours running on empty and about to fall over dead. but...
other fish
...there's a girl in my photoclass, and my art appreciation class, shelby. we met in the first or second week of class. i remember looking at her and thinking she looked familiar, but not saying anything because i was also sure i didn't know her. and i generally keep to myself. she introduced herself to me, with the same "you look familiar, do i know you?" i've gotten used to in most of my good friends. we've talked a little, but i'm not sure how much we have in common. but we obviously share an interest: photography. and we both approach it the same way: when everybody else sets up their shots we find existing things to photograph. and she wasn't the least bit freaked out that i like joel-peter witkin. that will usually throw someone. i think she's even heard of him.
when she passes me in the hallways, she'll wave and smile. but sometimes its like she doesn't see me. i'm terrible with mixed signals. i used to be good at reading women, but that's probably because it was always "ew get away!" she seems interested, but only sort of. maybe she's just shy. to be fair, i'm about the same way. i'm interested, sort of. i'm not ready for another relationship right now, and i'm not into the whole rebound thing. it's not fair, really. but in the same respect, i would like to get to know her. so right now, i'm just trying to be friendly. inviting her along when phyllis and i and sometimes petra go to lunch, etc. she's never taken me up on it, of course. but it doesn't seem like she's dodging either.
so today, she was really late for class. she was just coming in the door as we went to the cafeteria. so i asked her if she wanted to get some lunch with us. she said thanks, but no because she was really late and had to get her work done. later, during the book presentation, she waved and smiled at me on the way out. but she left her prints to dry. she came back to get them and leave just as we were heading to dinner. we'd both gotten almost out of the square when i thought "hey maybe she'd wanna come along" and so i hollered over to her. she said she had to go home, but that it was a really sweet offer. smiled, a bat of the eyelash or two, an "i'll see you tomorrow" and that was it.
i asked phyllis's opinion, because i'm terrible at reading mixed messages, as i said. besides noting that she's exactly my type (greenish eyes, cute little glasses, brown hair, and skinny, although we have been unable to ascertain whether or not she has deep-seated emotional problems) she said the she seemed genuinely interested in me, at least in a friendly kind of way, but seemed really shy. phyllis said she might be acting as blatantly as she feels she can, and is genuinely interested-interested. but i still don't know. petra says i should just own up to it, and ask her out to coffee in a friendly not-a-date kind of way.
i like this plan alot, but a- that takes guts, and b- coffee is the international codeword for sex, unless you're talking to someone like the president of berundi. in which case, it's just coffee. i guess we'll see whether or not she remembers i exist tomorrow. it's kind of been the highlight of my day to see someone smile at me like that again...
edit:
damn, not even as much as a "hi" today.