Duty, Above All Else -- Interlude & Part II

[arabianred]

Alritey, bear with me here! I had a really hard time writing this, so any help/critique would be much appreciated! Both were longer than I intended, but I was having a hard time juggling how much plot to infuse (this is a spin off but I haven't posted the fic it spins off from).

Probably best to read Part 1 first, and then the Interlude, and

Comments

[arabianred]

THANK YOU THANK YOU x a gazillion for the awesome review. I was seriously going to do a 'post and run (and HIDE)' type thing.

Interlude:
You know, I've never thought about posting smut until I read your challenge. See what you've done to me?! The Theraflu made it easier to write more explicitly, and I'm glad you didn't think it was raunchy. Would definitely have to go back and rewrite if it were.

Thanks for the tip on all the POV switching. So often, it's all in my head I forget to step in the reader's shoes. And ...

I would start quoting but I'll look like a pervert.
LOL.

Part II:
Holy FUCKING shit you blindsided me
I'm so glad, because I really thought you had it all figured out, with the suicide mission comment.

I was uncomfortable reading about those parts because they were so visceral...that's a good thing.
Oh, I was equally uncomfortable writing and editing them.

Nitpick all you like! THANK YOU for pointing that out & the suggestions! I think I might go with "dirty mouth" and "retch" unless there are objections? *makes note to step in shoes of reader more often*

You have a grand idea in your noggin, I can tell, and there are epic parts to it, and an entire world.
*beams* Thank you! There's definitely a complicated world dying to be shared. I needed to get some of it out to keep it from clogging everything else in my head. I'm really glad you like the glimpses so far!!

I like how there was so much allusion to the backstory, which I hope turns out again!
You'll definitely see more, since there is still lots to share! I'm trying to plant the seeds ...

PART THREE WHERE IS IT??
The plot bunnies are exhausted and currently vacationing on a tropical island, drinking bloody marys, munching on the celery/carrot, and relishing your feedback. Perhaps some new Economics or Vegas Smut will persuade them to leave said exotic beach?? *nudge*

Although ... your birthday IS coming up ...

(But, I think the bunnies for Mako and Ami's stories may need all their vacay time.)

[venusorbit1]

There's definitely a complicated world dying to be shared. I needed to get some of it out to keep it from clogging everything else in my head. I'm really glad you like the glimpses so far!!

Really, you should get it out of your head and share it with us. It's really intriguing and my favorite stories are usually ones with wonderfully drawn up, well-thought-out worlds where every detail seems to have an explanation behind it.

You'll definitely see more, since there is still lots to share! I'm trying to plant the seeds ...
AWWW yeah. Feel free to bounce ideas off of me! I love it!

The plot bunnies are exhausted and currently vacationing on a tropical island, drinking bloody marys, munching on the celery/carrot, and relishing your feedback. Perhaps some new Economics or Vegas Smut will persuade them to leave said exotic beach?? *nudge*
You MAY get one of these very soon!!!

Although ... your birthday IS coming up ... That is true! But ugh, don't remind me. I'm clinging to my mid-20s like white on rice.

....maybe take some more Theraflu and that will prod your muse! :P

[arabianred]

I was worried what's in my head was going to be so complex that I was going to have way too many different story lines going on, but your comment made me rethink that ... since I am creating it new world, it should be complicated! I was thinking short sighted and only fic-wise and how I would tie everything together, which was becoming a daunting task.

AWWW yeah. Feel free to bounce ideas off of me! I love it!
I will probably be taking you up on that offer! Once again, totally happy to return the favor, any time! I can't thank you enough for all your help (plus the totally awesome plug)!

You MAY get one of these very soon!!!
I can't wait!!!

That is true! But ugh, don't remind me. I'm clinging to my mid-20s like white on rice.
LOL. You know what's funny?! I was just thinking the other day what the starting age was for mid-20s and realized I think I fall in that category. Although, I am loving every second, every minute of the 20s.

maybe take some more Theraflu and that will prod your muse!
I am SUCH a wuss when it comes to any form of medication w/ anything that adds the drowsiness component. Thank god this wimpiness doesn't transfer to certain other things. ;)