(no subject)
making life changing decisions suck asshole. everytime i weigh up the options and make a little progress, it seems to take a piss on my face and im back to square one,or even furthur behind. i know what i want, yet the sacrifices to get there are so great that taking the plunge is all a bit grown up for me. i dont know if im strong enough to leave what i love and leave everything i know here. i let myself forget about it all when im busy working my arse off for two pence an hour, but then as soon as i sit and have time to think, my stomach lurches and i realise what i have to deal with again. im depressed. i read that the best way to make decisions is to think that youve made your mind up a hundred percent for each choice and then weigh up your self values along side them. but i dunno, i think thats a long way of saying trust your gut instinct. i suppose i know what i want for myself, and where i want to be in a few years time. all ive done is stumbled aross my first fallback of it being too hard. too hard to leave what i love. because it is. its really fucking hard. me and my retarded sentimentality. i need some love.