OR I could drabble it.
It's been a seriously long day. Sure, playing Sam evil is different, exciting - but so very draining. Jared just wants to let the dogs out, grab some water, and faceplant into his bed.
He expects to be rushed by the dogs when he opens the front door, as always. But what he doesn't expect is to turn the corner, heading for the kitchen, and to be almost toppled over as someone launches themselves against his back.
"Wha," Jared sputters. He straightens, hands instinctively flying up to latch onto his attacker's arms for balance. But when his fingers close, it's not skin and bone beneath his palms. It's fur.
"What the hell," he says. Jared twists himself around and finds himself face-to-face with a bear.
No freaking way, he thinks, but scrambles back anyway. The thing is huge, beady-black eyes and matted fur and how the hell had it gotten in? Jared's rounded the kitchen island and grabbed the nearest weapon (a rolling pin? Why do they even have a rolling pin, they don't bake) before he realizes: Jensen.
Oh god.
"JEEEEEEEEEEENSEN!" Jared calls, terrified that this fucking beast has been in the house all night and. Jared's going to puke. First he's gonna kick this thing's ass and then.
The bear starts shaking and then it bends over and seriously. What the hell? It's...laughing?
"Jensen, you mother fucking - " Jared strides across the kitchen and shoves the pile of fur against the wall. "I'm gonna kick your ass so fucking - "
Jensen reaches up and tugs the head off the costume. His hair is all matted with sweat and there are tears in his eyes he's laughing so hard. "Your. Your face." Jensen drops the bear head onto the floor and waves his still-covered hands in the air. The plastic claws clink together and his pitch goes up. "Aaaaah, Jeeeensen! You ate my Jensen!"
Jared purses his lips and narrows his eyes. His face feels ridiculously tight. "You're the biggest asshole ever."
Jensen nods. "But we all learned a valuable lesson."
Jensen, Jared thinks, is a jerk. An evil, scheming, stupid jerk. Jared sighs, a long exhale. His heart is still pounding against his ribcage. "Did we?"
"Yes," Jensen says. He smirks. "Seven out of ten attacks are from the rear."
"I am burning your Office dvds," Jared declares. "And we are never gonna talk about this again."
Jensen grins, stupidly bright. The skin around his eyes crinkles and Jared feels his resolve slipping away. Stupid, fucking asshole.
"Sure we won't," he says. "I'm sure you'll never breathe a word."
Seriously: dick. Adrenaline still high, Jared tugs on the front of the bear suit and pulls Jensen in, brushing their lips together. Jensen is an asshole, but he's okay.
"I hate you," Jared breathes against Jensen's mouth. He nips at Jensen's lower lip.
"I can tell," Jensen mumbles, poking one blunt claw into Jared's side.