Spoilers suck, but here's a fic fix.
Title: Karma Chameleon
Genre: RPS
Pairing: A bit of Foxshy...I couldn't help but slip it in.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Josh's dream job isn't so fantastic at the moment.
Disclaimer: Yeah, this didn't happen. Or maybe it did, but we'll never know.
Warnings: This is my reaction to those awful Canadian Promo spoilers that are tearing through fandom. It's particularly harsh on our favorite State of Hawaii Corrections inmate, but does anyone really mind that? If you don't know what I'm talking about, DON'T CLICK!!!
A/N: Thank you to alliecat8 for assuring me that this isn't the most ill fated idea I've ever had. Thinking about it made me laugh, and based on everyone's reactions to 'the situation', I think we need a bit of levity. Because, really, Sawyer can handle himself, but what about Josh? And I'm totally cheating here, but I'd rather have something for my late words_fly_up submission, and this works! Based on the quote: "The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together."
"Why? Someone, please, tell me what the fuck I did to deserve this?" Josh slumped on his stool, his lower lip protruding as he wallowed into his glass.
Dom leaned against the bar, propping his head on his hand and grinning from ear to ear. "God hates ya, mate," he proclaimed, unsuccessfully hiding a chuckle. Matt smiled on the other side of Josh, and nodded in agreement.
They had just finished filming for the day, so several of the cast had headed over to a favorite bar to unwind. And to support Josh, who was, for the first time, dreading his 'dream job'.
Chugging back the rest of his drink, he nodded soberly. Which was ironic, as he was anything but. "It's just not fair." Josh practically whined.
"Maybe it was all those 'derogatory comments' about women and marriage." Evie chided, adding air quotes and flashing her brightest smile, ribbing him. "Karma came back and bit you in your freshly shaved and laundered ass."
"Yeah, man, "Harold added, "You should have given me full mouth-to-mouth action when you had the chance." He ducked his head, laughing, as Josh shot him a death glare.
"I wasn't kissing no man." Josh complained, sulking.
"Well, you are now!" Evie shrieked, delighted with herself. She hid behind Dom, burying her face in his shoulder. Josh groaned, planting his forehead on the smooth surface.
Jorge patted Josh's arm assuredly. "You should, you know, do that thing where you eat a bunch of onions before you have to..."
"Don't even say it!" Josh cried, banging his head against the wood.
Harold huffed, addressing Jorge. "Nah, that's so cliché'."
"Well, how about he eats a bunch of peanuts? I heard she may be allergic..." Dom offered, his cheeks rounded with a devilish grin. The rest of the group roared with laughter, and Matt nearly choked on his beer. Evie playfully swatted Dom's arm, only half-scolding.
"Maybe chocolate," interjected Harold, trying to catch his breath. "Lord knows that girl don't do sweet!"
"Yeah, Josh, your kiss could melt her like the Wicked Witch of the West!"
"My hero!" Evie cried, circling her arms around him slumped form.
Josh shrugged her off, sitting upright. "Oh, I'm sooo glad you're all getting a kick out of this. Damn you and you and you..." He randomly jutted his finger at Evie and Harold and Foxy in turn. " I swear, it's a good thing JJ's off with the fucking Scientology squad or I'd, I'd..." Josh attempted to pull himself off the barstool, stumbling.
"You'd what?" Matt asked, catching his shoulder and holding him up. A broad grin creased his eyes.
Dom poked Josh in the back. "That's it! It was all bloody Tom Cruise's idea!" He cackled maniacally, allowing Evie to slowly pull him away as the group began to scatter. His lilting voice carried across the room as he turned to Evie and proclaimed, with deepest sincerity, "He was the inspiration for Henry, you know."
"He's an Udder!" Harold shouted back at him, cracking up. Jorge simply groaned.
Foxy eased Josh back onto the seat, rubbing the knot between his shoulders vigorously. "You will survive this, you know," he said softly from behind Josh.
Josh sighed, his shoulder blades rising under Matt's fingertips. "Yeah, yeah. It’s just..." He shuddered and Matt retracted his hand. "She's such a bitch. What if she, like, tries to bite my tongue off?"
Matt chuckled, coming to sit beside him. "I highly doubt it." He signaled to the bartender for two shots.
"How come I've gotta be the sacrificial lamb to the slaughter? I thought Jack was gonna hook up with her." Josh continued to pout as Matt handed him a glass.
"Listen, man, things don't always go the way you want. I know you know that, and yeah, it sucks, but you do this and then she's gone and things can go back to the way they were. We won't have her hanging over our heads anymore." He clinked his drink against Josh's and shot it down. Josh followed suit, the fiery burn running through him, and he shook his head in an attempt to clear his vision.
"I just want tomorrow to be a blur. I just want it done. I don't want to think about it."
Matt stared at him, his lips curling into a wicked grin. "I think I can help with that..."
Suddenly, the world was turned upside down and Josh was greeted, too close, with the dark fringe of Matt's lashes, assaulted by his lips as long fingers curled around the base of Josh's skull, dipping him back on the stool. Josh parted his lips to cry out from shock, but then Foxy's tongue was sliding along his, quick and insistent, swirling in the hollow space. Josh reached out, grasping a handful of Matt's shirt as he tried to maintain his balance, but even holding on, Josh felt the world spin around him, nothing there but open air and Matt's mouth, hot and soft and rough all at once. His muscles relaxed as he leaned into Foxy's grasp, trusting him completely, and his natural instincts kicked in. Twisting his head, Josh matched the rhythm of Matt's actions, falling into sync effortlessly, every inch of his skin tingling from alcohol and all the blood rushing to his brain from the angle. It was the pressure of Foxy's torso pressed to his, the achingly light drag of his fingertips through his hair and the burn of stubble scratching against his own that worried him. But not that much.
Josh was brought back by the sound of hooting and catcalls from across the bar. Foxy pulled away and righted him, licking his lips as he sat back himself. Josh looked around, dazed, barely registering the rest of his cast mates collapsing over themselves in glee, and turned to Matt, dumbstruck and speechless.
"See? Now you'll have bigger things to worry about." Foxy laughed, but his eyes were darker that usual and the levity in his voice rang untrue in Josh's ears. Matt extracted himself from the stool, leaving Josh, still panting, to watch as he walked away. Matt was right - Josh's mind was a blank void.
Foxy was only a few steps away when he turned back. Josh noted that he was giggling, and a twinge of doubt and annoyance formed in his gut.
"Oh, and Josh?"
He swallowed hard, trying to clear his throat and get the phrase past his lips. "..Yeah?"
"You may want to actually do that onion thing. Because right now, you taste like you've soaked yourself in liquor." Matt swiped at his eye as he continued to shake with laughter. "And if you're worried about her biting your tongue off and you taste like that...well, you know her. She may just do it for the alcohol content."
Josh ran his thumb against his lower lip, only feeling bitter numbness. That's not what he tasted at all.
Genre: RPS
Pairing: A bit of Foxshy...I couldn't help but slip it in.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Josh's dream job isn't so fantastic at the moment.
Disclaimer: Yeah, this didn't happen. Or maybe it did, but we'll never know.
Warnings: This is my reaction to those awful Canadian Promo spoilers that are tearing through fandom. It's particularly harsh on our favorite State of Hawaii Corrections inmate, but does anyone really mind that? If you don't know what I'm talking about, DON'T CLICK!!!
A/N: Thank you to alliecat8 for assuring me that this isn't the most ill fated idea I've ever had. Thinking about it made me laugh, and based on everyone's reactions to 'the situation', I think we need a bit of levity. Because, really, Sawyer can handle himself, but what about Josh? And I'm totally cheating here, but I'd rather have something for my late words_fly_up submission, and this works! Based on the quote: "The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together."
"Why? Someone, please, tell me what the fuck I did to deserve this?" Josh slumped on his stool, his lower lip protruding as he wallowed into his glass.
Dom leaned against the bar, propping his head on his hand and grinning from ear to ear. "God hates ya, mate," he proclaimed, unsuccessfully hiding a chuckle. Matt smiled on the other side of Josh, and nodded in agreement.
They had just finished filming for the day, so several of the cast had headed over to a favorite bar to unwind. And to support Josh, who was, for the first time, dreading his 'dream job'.
Chugging back the rest of his drink, he nodded soberly. Which was ironic, as he was anything but. "It's just not fair." Josh practically whined.
"Maybe it was all those 'derogatory comments' about women and marriage." Evie chided, adding air quotes and flashing her brightest smile, ribbing him. "Karma came back and bit you in your freshly shaved and laundered ass."
"Yeah, man, "Harold added, "You should have given me full mouth-to-mouth action when you had the chance." He ducked his head, laughing, as Josh shot him a death glare.
"I wasn't kissing no man." Josh complained, sulking.
"Well, you are now!" Evie shrieked, delighted with herself. She hid behind Dom, burying her face in his shoulder. Josh groaned, planting his forehead on the smooth surface.
Jorge patted Josh's arm assuredly. "You should, you know, do that thing where you eat a bunch of onions before you have to..."
"Don't even say it!" Josh cried, banging his head against the wood.
Harold huffed, addressing Jorge. "Nah, that's so cliché'."
"Well, how about he eats a bunch of peanuts? I heard she may be allergic..." Dom offered, his cheeks rounded with a devilish grin. The rest of the group roared with laughter, and Matt nearly choked on his beer. Evie playfully swatted Dom's arm, only half-scolding.
"Maybe chocolate," interjected Harold, trying to catch his breath. "Lord knows that girl don't do sweet!"
"Yeah, Josh, your kiss could melt her like the Wicked Witch of the West!"
"My hero!" Evie cried, circling her arms around him slumped form.
Josh shrugged her off, sitting upright. "Oh, I'm sooo glad you're all getting a kick out of this. Damn you and you and you..." He randomly jutted his finger at Evie and Harold and Foxy in turn. " I swear, it's a good thing JJ's off with the fucking Scientology squad or I'd, I'd..." Josh attempted to pull himself off the barstool, stumbling.
"You'd what?" Matt asked, catching his shoulder and holding him up. A broad grin creased his eyes.
Dom poked Josh in the back. "That's it! It was all bloody Tom Cruise's idea!" He cackled maniacally, allowing Evie to slowly pull him away as the group began to scatter. His lilting voice carried across the room as he turned to Evie and proclaimed, with deepest sincerity, "He was the inspiration for Henry, you know."
"He's an Udder!" Harold shouted back at him, cracking up. Jorge simply groaned.
Foxy eased Josh back onto the seat, rubbing the knot between his shoulders vigorously. "You will survive this, you know," he said softly from behind Josh.
Josh sighed, his shoulder blades rising under Matt's fingertips. "Yeah, yeah. It’s just..." He shuddered and Matt retracted his hand. "She's such a bitch. What if she, like, tries to bite my tongue off?"
Matt chuckled, coming to sit beside him. "I highly doubt it." He signaled to the bartender for two shots.
"How come I've gotta be the sacrificial lamb to the slaughter? I thought Jack was gonna hook up with her." Josh continued to pout as Matt handed him a glass.
"Listen, man, things don't always go the way you want. I know you know that, and yeah, it sucks, but you do this and then she's gone and things can go back to the way they were. We won't have her hanging over our heads anymore." He clinked his drink against Josh's and shot it down. Josh followed suit, the fiery burn running through him, and he shook his head in an attempt to clear his vision.
"I just want tomorrow to be a blur. I just want it done. I don't want to think about it."
Matt stared at him, his lips curling into a wicked grin. "I think I can help with that..."
Suddenly, the world was turned upside down and Josh was greeted, too close, with the dark fringe of Matt's lashes, assaulted by his lips as long fingers curled around the base of Josh's skull, dipping him back on the stool. Josh parted his lips to cry out from shock, but then Foxy's tongue was sliding along his, quick and insistent, swirling in the hollow space. Josh reached out, grasping a handful of Matt's shirt as he tried to maintain his balance, but even holding on, Josh felt the world spin around him, nothing there but open air and Matt's mouth, hot and soft and rough all at once. His muscles relaxed as he leaned into Foxy's grasp, trusting him completely, and his natural instincts kicked in. Twisting his head, Josh matched the rhythm of Matt's actions, falling into sync effortlessly, every inch of his skin tingling from alcohol and all the blood rushing to his brain from the angle. It was the pressure of Foxy's torso pressed to his, the achingly light drag of his fingertips through his hair and the burn of stubble scratching against his own that worried him. But not that much.
Josh was brought back by the sound of hooting and catcalls from across the bar. Foxy pulled away and righted him, licking his lips as he sat back himself. Josh looked around, dazed, barely registering the rest of his cast mates collapsing over themselves in glee, and turned to Matt, dumbstruck and speechless.
"See? Now you'll have bigger things to worry about." Foxy laughed, but his eyes were darker that usual and the levity in his voice rang untrue in Josh's ears. Matt extracted himself from the stool, leaving Josh, still panting, to watch as he walked away. Matt was right - Josh's mind was a blank void.
Foxy was only a few steps away when he turned back. Josh noted that he was giggling, and a twinge of doubt and annoyance formed in his gut.
"Oh, and Josh?"
He swallowed hard, trying to clear his throat and get the phrase past his lips. "..Yeah?"
"You may want to actually do that onion thing. Because right now, you taste like you've soaked yourself in liquor." Matt swiped at his eye as he continued to shake with laughter. "And if you're worried about her biting your tongue off and you taste like that...well, you know her. She may just do it for the alcohol content."
Josh ran his thumb against his lower lip, only feeling bitter numbness. That's not what he tasted at all.