I'm BACK baby!!! Woot!!!
Alright then. I wrote a ficlet straight out of my heart this morning...it just burst out of me and broke me up and I have realized that I need to write. So there it is, more fic will be coming and soon, cause I've been bitten by a few bunnies and I'm on a roll. And yes, to those with inquiring minds, Harry and Draco are on the agenda!
Title: Remember
Author: aquila_star
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The pups aren't mine, I am simply fond of petting them.
Notes: This ficlet poured out of me all at once, pretty much as is.
I did everything I could to not remember Sirius. To not remember his hands and how they reached for me. How his lips would whisper across my skin as I lay halfway between sleep and awake. The way his heart would beat heavy with mine as I held him close to me. To not remember his smiles, his energy, his enthusiasm. The way his hair would fall into his eyes, the way those eyes would peek out from under and grip mine with a smoldering stare that always said you, only you, always you. To not remember how it felt to hold him, to be held by him. To not remember how he put everything on the line for me, his family, his safety, his heart.
Then the years slipped by and soon I found myself unable to remember. I was forgetting him, forgetting my heart and soul and the reason I held on to this farce of a life that I was living. He was alive, alive; lost to me, lost to the world, lost to himself. But alive. How could I forget? How could I betray him like that, even if he had betrayted me, James, Lily, Peter? How could I have denied for so long what I had accepted at fifteen; that Sirius is a part of me, the bigger part, the better part, the part that made me love, live feel.
So I did everything to remember him. To remember the way his voice caught the first time he told me he loved me. To remember the glee in his face as he and James planned another prank. The way he would vibrate with suppressed energy before said prank was launched. The way he held himself up proud and strong whenever he would get a Howler from his parents, or when Regulus and the other snakes in the grass would taunt him.The way he sobbed in my arms afterwards, wondering why; why Remus, why don't they love me? But I love you Padfoot, I always love you. I remember the way his lips felt against mine, the way he would brush my hair back from my face with gentle fingers and a tender gaze. I remember the way he would pursue me when I tried to get lost in myself, how he reached in and pulled me back to myself, back to him.
I tried to forget Sirius, to block out the memory of him from my mind. I struggled for years to accomplish it, but I never could. When I tried to remember Sirius is when it all came crashing back, and I knew. No matter how hard I tried to run from him, I couldn't. You can't run from yourself after all, and Sirius is all of me.
Title: Remember
Author: aquila_star
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The pups aren't mine, I am simply fond of petting them.
Notes: This ficlet poured out of me all at once, pretty much as is.
I did everything I could to not remember Sirius. To not remember his hands and how they reached for me. How his lips would whisper across my skin as I lay halfway between sleep and awake. The way his heart would beat heavy with mine as I held him close to me. To not remember his smiles, his energy, his enthusiasm. The way his hair would fall into his eyes, the way those eyes would peek out from under and grip mine with a smoldering stare that always said you, only you, always you. To not remember how it felt to hold him, to be held by him. To not remember how he put everything on the line for me, his family, his safety, his heart.
Then the years slipped by and soon I found myself unable to remember. I was forgetting him, forgetting my heart and soul and the reason I held on to this farce of a life that I was living. He was alive, alive; lost to me, lost to the world, lost to himself. But alive. How could I forget? How could I betray him like that, even if he had betrayted me, James, Lily, Peter? How could I have denied for so long what I had accepted at fifteen; that Sirius is a part of me, the bigger part, the better part, the part that made me love, live feel.
So I did everything to remember him. To remember the way his voice caught the first time he told me he loved me. To remember the glee in his face as he and James planned another prank. The way he would vibrate with suppressed energy before said prank was launched. The way he held himself up proud and strong whenever he would get a Howler from his parents, or when Regulus and the other snakes in the grass would taunt him.The way he sobbed in my arms afterwards, wondering why; why Remus, why don't they love me? But I love you Padfoot, I always love you. I remember the way his lips felt against mine, the way he would brush my hair back from my face with gentle fingers and a tender gaze. I remember the way he would pursue me when I tried to get lost in myself, how he reached in and pulled me back to myself, back to him.
I tried to forget Sirius, to block out the memory of him from my mind. I struggled for years to accomplish it, but I never could. When I tried to remember Sirius is when it all came crashing back, and I knew. No matter how hard I tried to run from him, I couldn't. You can't run from yourself after all, and Sirius is all of me.