Annnnnnd....Part Two
Title: The Art of Making Admissions.
Rating: NC 17
Author:
aquila_star
Word Count: 9733ish
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Challenge: This fic was written for the
slythindor100 Summer Challenge, and I think I have the word minimum covered! *giggles*
Warnings: boy!sex. and snogging, angst and fluff and a bit of ooc-ness.
A/N: This fic pretty much ignores HBP. It’s a 7th year fic, but they are all at school and everyone is alive. Except Sirius. *pouts* So basically, it’s AU. Umm, yeah, enjoy. *grins*
Part One
The first time Harry fucked Draco came as quite a shock to both of them, and was accompanied by major changes in their awareness of each other, as well as their relationship. The day, a Saturday, had begun like any other. Draco enjoyed a lie in; dozing lazily as his mind replayed the glorious blowjob Harry had given him the night before. In actuality, he had called up this memory to drive away another, the one that had been plaguing him all week. Sure enough, here he was thinking of it again.
On Monday night, one of the rare evenings they shared without any previous commitments, they had met in the Room of Requirement. They had spent the evening involved in an activity that had soon become their favorite; frotting, as it happened, especially considering some of the other ways of getting they had indulged in recently. Much to Draco’s surprise and delight, nothing felt better than rubbing, preferably naked, against Harry, also preferably naked, and it had proved to be the most erotic activity yet, it was the most exciting and satisfying of all their encounters.
They had snuggled up held each other dozed off afterwards and slept soundly until 3am, when Draco woke, wrapped happily around an equally attached Harry, his nose buried in the sweet smelling skin of Harry’s neck. He swore under his breath, knowing they had class in the morning and they would have to leave, soon. But for right now he snuggled-fine, snuggled-closer to Harry, content to savor these precious moments of closeness, of intimacy with Harry. He enjoyed the silence for a few moments until he felt Harry stir, nuzzling Draco’s hair as he woke.
“Mmmm, Draco.” Harry whispered huskily and Draco’s chest gave a painful pang in response. Draco had given up ignoring these pains, but he kept telling himself he was not yet ready to admit what they meant.
“S’nice.” Harry murmured, his lips sliding down Draco’s neck now, and finally Draco was unable to deny anymore the feelings that had been awakened in him. Feelings for Harry. He shivered suddenly in fear, fear of letting go, fear of giving in, but then Harry’s lips met his in a sleepy kiss, chasing away all the fear. Harry’s kisses were better than a Patronus.
Then it occurred to him, as Harry’s tongue swept into his mouth, that he had always had feelings for Harry. The feelings had not always been good, and certainly not sexual. He had felt loathing, jealousy, anger, resentment, even a grudging admiration respect for Harry-to say the least-but the one thing he had never felt in regards to Harry was indifference.
He pulled Harry closer, and the other boy had responded by rolling Draco onto his back and stretching a lean leg over Draco’s. They were still kissing slowly, lips and tongues clinging and laving each other lovingly. As Harry continued to kiss him, Draco admitted finally, in the biggest admission of his life and perhaps the most important; that he was brilliantly in love with Harry. He was so far gone, there was no coming out if it, especially not now that they had become intimate, Draco couldn’t just give Harry up now, but he had no idea of how to keep him. How was he going to get Harry to fall for him as well? He had absolutely no idea what Harry felt for him. Harry desired him, that much was obvious, and he seemed to enjoy Draco’s company, they laughed and joked together often now, but that certainly didn’t tell him how Harry really felt. Surely Harry didn’t hate him anymore, he couldn’t after everything that had happened between them, could he?
That brought up another thought. Had Draco ever truly hated Harry? Considering all the things he had felt for Harry in the past, had hate ever been one of them? Draco brushed the thought aside, it was something to ponder another time, not now while Harry was still kissing him, deeper now, pulling him closer.
It was not until some time later that they had pulled away and set to collecting their belongings from where they were scattered around the room. Harry had lent Draco the cloak and then kissed him lingeringly before whispering a goodnight and slipping out the door. Draco stayed for another few minutes, his back pressed against the door as he fingered the cloak, his mind a whirl of memories, from the night they had just spent and the first time they had met under the cloak. His mind was full of Harry, Harry, Harry.
This train of thought didn’t jump its track all the way back to the dungeons under Harry’s cloak, nor did they after he had arrived at the dorm and fallen clothed into bed, asleep almost instantly and dreaming of Harry.
He awoke feeling sated, refreshed, happy. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, and he sneered at himself, at his ridiculous behavior, but then his thoughts returned to Harry and their meeting the night before, and he couldn’t keep the smile from his face. He had managed to tame his disobedient face, if not emotions, but he found he couldn’t keep a small, secret smile off his face as he made his way towards the Great Hall for breakfast. He was almost successful at turning it into a smirk. Almost.
He arrived as most of the Gryffindor Quidditch them left, on their way to the pitch for practice. Draco was disappointed to not see Harry amongst them, and shook his head impatiently at himself. As he approached the doors he was waylaid by Gavin McDougal, a Ravenclaw 6th year who had been trying to gain Draco’s attention for some time. Out of nothing more than a good mood he allowed himself to be drawn to the side of the hall in conversation with McDougal. He was hungry, but with the Gryffindor Quidditch team practicing there wouldn’t be anything to distract him in the hall, he might as well bask in the Ravenclaw’s adoring presence.
McDougal flirted shamelessly with him, employing his full repertoire, limited as it may be, to tempt Draco. Draco was unmoved, although he enjoyed the attention as always. He was born for the spotlight, or so he had always believed, and considering the fact that Harry had garnered so much attention for so long wanting it so little, it was no wonder that Draco had been painfully jealous of him for so long. Not a week had passed since the Big Admission, as Draco had begun to call it in his head, and he was looking back on his past interactions with Harry through a whole new perspective. It was amazing to him now that it had taken so long for him to admit his sexuality, when you consider that he had been completely obsessed with another boy since he was eleven. He had realized that he had never shown much interest anything other than Harry, except attempting to please his Father, everything he had sought after, everything he had desired, could be traced back to Harry. These two things were not mutually exclusive though, and it had never been something he had been able to meld. No, he had never wanted anything or anyone else, and no amount of well researched flirting by a 6th year Ravenclaw was going to move him.
It was just as Gavin was running a suggestive hand up his arm, while leaning in towards Draco; surely not hoping to be kissed, when Harry strode determinedly out of the Great Hall. He stumbled and then stopped short as he caught sight of Draco, Gavin’s hand still on his arm, and their heads close. When Draco turned and smiled, apparently inexplicably-weren’t they keeping this a secret, after all?-at Harry, the Gryffindor averted his gaze with a clenched jaw, and disappeared out the front doors, not looking back. Draco watched Harry’s retreating back, a cold hard lump forming in his belly at Harry’s apparent indifference to him. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way, they had never said they were together, in fact they had agreed on the opposite, but still Draco was hurt. He rudely brushed off the Ravenclaw and stomped moodily back to the dungeons. He hated himself for feeling this way, he was no Hufflepuff; but suddenly he had no appetite.
Harry had all but ignored his flirting with the Ravenclaw, something Draco had never been able to do when someone else flirted with Harry and it burned, like a fire in his belly that made him want to lash out. He caught himself reaching for his wand as he passed a group of 4th year Gryffindors, but he was able to stop himself just in time. Harry may not care if Draco dated someone else, as if that would ever happen, not after the Big Admission, but he wasn’t prepared for the celibacy that would surely become his life if he hexed anyone, especially younger members of Harry’s own house.
It shouldn’t be like this, he shouldn’t be feeling this way, and he most certainly should be above this...thing…between him and Harry. Above these feelings. He was a Malfoy, after all. Although he may not choose to follow his father down that particular path of destruction, it didn’t change who he was. In any case, he would never be able to join the Dark Lord now, being helplessly-and didn’t that description just rankle-in love with The Boy Who Lived is hardly conducive to a working relationship with the one trying to kill him.
Regardless of what should have been or not, Draco found himself still in his dorm at lunch, still brooding over his own foolishness at not having seen the signs of his fall in time to stop it. Oh, who was he kidding? It was too late to stop it by the time they had met on the train. He was so worked up over Harry’s indifference that he could not help himself from snapping at Pansy when she came to collect him at lunch. It was his own fault, he told himself, she should have left him alone, but she persisted and in the end Draco had slammed the door in her face after bellowing, “I’m FINE! Now bugger OFF, Pansy!”
He was cycling through his feelings, settling for the moment on disgust at the whole situation when he heard the door open and close quietly. He scowled, sure it was Pansy, no doubt to badger him into talking to her, or to force food down his throat, so he sat up in his bed to give her a good talking to, but the words died in his throat when he saw instead of an impatient Pansy, a sweaty, windblown Harry standing at the foot of his bed, his invisibility cloak clenched in one white-knuckled hand, and breathing very hard as he stared intently down at Draco.
“Harry.” He breathed; his heart pounding, and his stomach rising into his throat. Harry simply continued to stare at him possessively for a minute before holding his hand up towards the door, muttering several words to lock the door and simultaneously shutting out every sound but their labored breathing with a two way silencing charm. Draco suddenly noticed the rather sudden arousal he was sporting; the sight and smell of Harry, so commanding and powerful as he performed the wandless, non verbal magic had quickly excited Draco. There was no doubt what Harry intended, the fact of it confirmed by Harry’s arousal, clearly visible under the supple leather of Harry’s sweaty practice gear as it clung to his damp skin. Right there was another thing to add to the list of things about Harry that could turn on Draco Malfoy in no time. Harry was standing above him, broad chest heaving, his eyes glittering with lust and possession, flushed and sweaty. In leather.
With his newly discovered feelings for the Harry combining with the vision in front of him, the effect on Draco was immense. Then his heart pounded even faster, so fast Draco was afraid it would erupt clear out of his chest, as Harry dropped the cloak to pool on the floor and began to crawl up the bed towards Draco, his green eyes bright with passion.
“You’re mine, Draco.” Harry declared, his voice too hard, too strained, almost fearful I its intensity. He grabbed Draco by the hips, hard, and pulled him down the bed so their lips could meet, and began kissing him roughly. Harry’s kisses were tinged with desperation, his hands rough as he undid Draco’s trousers and pulled them, pants and all, down his legs. Harry immediately bent down and took Draco’s cock into his mouth, sucking roughly on the head before plunging down the shaft, taking the entire length in his mouth. Draco cried out wordlessly, but Harry had already gripped his hips again and was flipping him over, holding Draco into the mattress as he pushed Draco’s shirt up to lay open mouthed kisses and bruising bites down Draco’s spine towards the base, and the flesh that curved there.
“Mine.” He growled again before moving further down to kiss and lave at the pucker between Draco’s arse cheeks. Draco moaned deeply as Harry laved him thoroughly. Harry withdrew suddenly, and Draco groaned in spite of himself, gasping to catch his breath as he heard Harry whispering words just out of the range of his hearing. He lost his hard won air as he felt the cool wet tip of Harry’s finger slide inside him. Harry quickly added another, his patience short and Draco gasped anew as he was stretched out, uncomfortable and burning slightly.
It was over all too soon; before he could react Harry’s fingers were replaced by the blunt tip of his cock, pressing into Draco. One of Harry’s hands guided his swollen cock into Draco, while the other pressed into the small of Draco’s back, urging him down so his arse was more accessible.
Draco found himself shocked, thrilled and excited at Harry’s behavior. Harry was claiming him, in word and deed, ensuring that there was no doubt as to his ownership of Draco. And oh, how Draco longed to be owned by Harry. Draco’s chest throbbed in time with his cock as Harry whispered “Mine.” again, thickly, his voice heavy with arousal as he ran a loving hand over Draco’s arse. Harry was deep inside Draco now, holding still momentarily as Draco adjusted to the fullness, the burning tingle that was even now beginning to fade, adjusting to the feel of being owned, the submission that ran through him like a wave, crashing into his defenses and shattering them. Harry was right. Draco was his.
“Draco, you’re mine.” Harry proclaimed as he leaned down to kiss the base of Draco’s neck.
“Yes.” was the only thing Draco could force past his dry lips. He was fully aroused and had adjusted to Harry’s length inside him, so he wriggled his rear, telling Harry to get on with it already.
So Harry did, thrusting completely into Draco before pulling out and doing it again, again, again. He thrust just so, rubbing against Draco’s prostate with every pass, bringing them both close to climax quickly before slowing down, holding them there. He shifted his angle, pressing Draco into the mattress with both hands and pounding unrestrainedly now into the boy beneath him. Draco’s cock rubbed his comforter with such delicious friction at every thrust that he felt his arousal sharpen intensely as he let it go and came hard, spurting all over the bed and his belly, leaving a sticky, slimy mess that was rubbed into his belly and bed more and more as Harry continued thrusting. Harry rode out the clenching of Draco’s muscles almost completely before reaching his own release, loosing himself inside Draco, hands on his hips, the sweaty black hair on his head leaving a smudge of wetness across Draco’s shoulder blades.
They lay in a sweaty tangle for long moments, both in shock still at what had occurred between them. Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room until Harry levered himself up, out of Draco and off the bed. Draco shuddered when Harry’s warm skin was replaced by the cool air in the dorm, and he rolled over to see Harry crouched on the floor, shirtless, trousers undone, his head cradled in his hands.
“Harry?” he asked tentatively, his mind a blur as he tried to divine what had caused Harry’s retreat off the bed and into himself, as well as when he’d had time to take his shirt off. Draco eyed the bare skin hungrily before shaking his head. That was for another time, if he was reasonably able to expect one in the future. Oh, but he had been so sure when Harry had claimed him, the words Harry had spoken still ringing in Draco’s ears But now...now Harry looked disgusted with himself, and Draco felt the weight of doubt pressing him again. He had been positive for a few shining moment that they would be able to work it out, that they could be together; perhaps even take their relationship to the next level. Maybe they could start a relationship, instead of touching and grasping and yearning in dark corners.
All those hopes were scattered from Draco’s thoughts. After the most thrilling and intimate experience of his life, Harry was across the room, distraught; not in bed with Draco where he belonged. Draco’s heart clenched in his chest, the ache spreading through his limbs as he watched Harry’s attempt to control himself, to shake out his demons. Harry’s breathing was even harsher now than it had been at the peak of their release, but Draco could only watch him struggle.
Finally, Harry lifted his head, meeting Draco’s gaze with dry eyes; red and swollen with restraint. “I’m sorry.” he whispered harshly, but Draco just stared at him, not comprehending what in Merlin’s name Harry was apologizing for. Harry looked pained; he hesitated, then dropped to his knees and crawled across the floor to the bed, kneeling before Draco, his head hung low as he rested his hands on Draco’s bare knees.
“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t...I just…”Harry sucked in a large breath before continuing. “I can’t.” he said brokenly before pulling back again, attempting once more to locate his scattered belongings, shoes, shirt, cloak.
“I’m sorry.” Harry apologized again as he fastened his leathers with fumbling hands.
“Stop!” Draco yelled, trying still to work out exactly why Harry was apologizing, why he was leaving. Harry froze, looking somewhat terrified-terrified?-as Draco stood, pulling his trousers up as he went, but leaving them undone. He was still fully dressed, if more than a little rumpled. “Stop, Harry.” Draco said again, softer this time. “Why are you apologizing? Exactly what are you sorry for, Harry?” he asked, not hiding his confusion.
“I’m…I…” Harry stuttered, unable to find the words he needed. He stared apprehensively at Draco for a long time, too long, until Draco had had enough. He walked boldly towards Harry and took his hot, flushed face between cool hands, cupping Harry’s cheeks reverently. He looked up into Harry’s eyes, so bright, fearful and yearning. Draco swallowed thickly, knowing that he had made Harry look this way. And oh, Harry was exquisite. Draco smiled slightly, then leaned forward and kissed him. Gently, deeply, and Harry responded immediately, without any of the hesitation that had marked him only moments before; wrapping his long arms around Draco.
Draco sighed. This was much better, his lips against Harry’s, the strong muscles of Harry’s jaw working under Draco’s fingers as his tongue swept through Draco’s mouth, the press of Harry’s bare chest warm through his shirt. This is where Harry should be, Draco thought. He pushed forward, to deepen the kiss, opening his mouth wider, but Harry broke it off and pulled away, holding Draco at arm’s length.
“You’re so…and I…” Harry stopped, hanging his head as if defeated by his inability to form a sentence. He took a deep clarifying breath before making another attempt.
“I’m sorry I…attacked you like that, without asking. I wasn’t…I shouldn’t have…”
Draco cut him off before he could go any further, and Harry pursed his lips in frustration. Draco caressed Harry’s lips with an elegant finger, coaxing them to relaxation again.
“Shh, you didn’t attack me Harry. I loved it. You were…spectacular and it was…exciting, more exciting than…” Now it was Draco’s turn to be speechless. “Harry, I…what brought it on Harry?” Draco dropped his hand from Harry’s lips and reached for his arm, running his hand up and down the tensed muscles that kept them apart. Harry took another deep breath, releasing Draco and turning away before answering.
“You.” he stated simply, walking across the dorm to lean on a bedpost. “That fucking Ravenclaw. His hands on you.” Draco’s heart stopped suddenly at Harry’s words, and the hope he had buried deep inside him after Harry had left the bed surged up again. Harry was jealous. Draco couldn’t help but smirk at the realization. It was like an epiphany. Suddenly Harry was laid bare to him, like a book for Draco to read from at his leisure. All these long years Draco had labored to puzzle out the mysterious Gryffindor, his actions, his words, the thoughts behind them; but he had never known success until this moment. But now Harry’s mind and heart were open to Draco, his behavior speaking to Draco with an eloquence that his words would never be able to match.
“This is why I can’t…I know we said we’d just…but I want…I…” Harry continued to stumble over his words, having so much to say yet being completely unable to say it. Harry stopped trying, turning to Draco and meeting grey eyes with green. He seemed to be pulling together all his vaulted Gryffindor courage as he gazed heatedly into Draco’s eyes.
“You should be mine.” Harry said at last. “You’re…” here he stopped again, begging a response from Draco with pleading eyes. Draco tried to respond, but found he was unable to form the words. Suddenly he knew how it must be for Harry, having so much to say but being unable to articulate his thoughts. Finally he swallowed his stomach down again and countered Harry’s Gryffindor courage with Slytherin ambition, and went after what he wanted.
“Do you want to try…” he began, pausing to move slowly across the room towards Harry again. After all these years he was still chasing Harry. He shook his head at the thought. “…being boyfriends?” he asked at last, stopping within arms reach of Harry.
Harry’s expressive eyes widened in shock as he attempted to come up with a response. “I…You mean, you…I…YES!” The last word he enunciated by gripping Draco’s arms as he pulled Draco in eagerly for a rousing kiss. Draco smiled against his lips, and then set to kissing Harry earnestly, relying on his actions to convey what he was feeling, since words appeared to have failed them both.
Finally they pulled back, breathing deeply from each other. Draco discovered that his feet were off the ground, instead of standing he was held up by Harry’s strong arms around the small of his back, their newly aroused erections pressing close once more.
“So.” He said simply, gazing deeply in the sparkling green eyes. “You love me.” Draco stated it without doubt and enjoyed himself very much as Harry looked baffled and embarrassed, and he stammered, “I…I mean, you…”
Draco stopped him again with a finger and smiled brilliantly at his new boyfriend. “Don’t talk; you’re better off that way.” he said gently, kissing Harry again, running a hand through Harry’s hair, the silky strands still damp with the sweat of Harry’s excursions.
“I love you too, you know.” Draco added smartly, and Harry smiled widely, his heart on his sleeve and in his eyes for Draco to read. Draco had learned there was an art to making admissions, especially the big ones, and if you did it right you could grow, be a better person. He’d grown more in the last month, trusting himself and following his own path instead of the one laid out for him, than he had in the 16 years previous. He felt like a man now, like he had crossed the line that separated adults and children. And when Harry held him tight and buried his face in Draco’s neck, Draco knew he was no longer a child. And they were going to be just fine.