i want it to be like that.

[aquietspirit]

i'm sick and i'm failing my classes and i'm very overwhelmed with everything i'm "supposed" to be doing. but the thing is.. i'm just not capable of doing it. not because i'm not smart. i just can't function. i left spanish class after 10 minutes today because i was so weak. becca left with me because she said i looked like i was dying. so we sat on the bench and i tried to breathe and study for health. i failed my health exam though - i couldn't hold my pencil. everything around has slowly been fading away. it's blurry and the volume is turned down ..or off. i've been getting some sleep and eating oatmeal and a few other things too so it's not because of that. talking is hard. and if i do, i'll only cough up blood so it's gross. i have so much to do. i just noticed the blue part of my eyes are gone; they're all black.

i think it takes something out of you when the first small thing you say in the morning can get you beat up. it wasn't even a mean thing to say.. just a thought. i should just never talk.