i'm sad?
every heart has so much history;
it's my favorite place to start.
sit down a while and share your narative with me,
i'm not afraid of who you are.
i've been busy. lots of things that make me individually content or happy, but past everything i'm still a very sad, self-destructive girl. i haven't been home all week except at nights when i clean and do homework, instead of sleep. lots classes and work. tuesday night i drove becky to dance class and sat in the back of the pretty little studio and read and watched the two girls dance. it made me miss dancing, but i could see myself twirling around in my head. yesterday i met with a director at ccc who gave me the educational training for carroll county schools. so i can work there now if i want.
i also started volunteering at the boys and girls club. 5 hours a week, which is a lot - believe me. this requires constant unlimited energy, patience, and so much love. it is extremely challenging, but i love it. the girls are shy, but you should see them dance.. the boys are difficult and hyperactive and ADD. they're all at-risk, black kids from downtown westminster. they're tough but i've only been working there 2 days and they're already warming up to me. i got some of the guys to settle down and played and read with them. and helped them with homework. and the girls are older so you can just talk with them. the quietest middle school girl asked me what day i was coming back then said "ok, i'll be here than." one little boy is very rebelious, would not calm down, started crying and tried to run away. so i sat him down and we played basketball and talked. then we found a very old, beat-up piano. he said to teach him. so i've started. it's good thing for heart-and-soul. then he asked me to play something else, do i did. and all of a sudden there were 20 kids standing around that old piano completely silent for the first time that day. now they all want to learn so i'm going to try a little. music is the one thing that seems to make them alive and light-up their faces.
tonight becky and i watched the virgin suicides. i think we like it because somehow it very directly relates to our little world. oh, and i just saw that emmy sent me a message on myspace and that made me happy and i want to respond, but right now i'm tired. and very very faint.
claire is 18 :] ..i've loved her to death for 4 years now.
**happy birthday (yesterday)!**
it's my favorite place to start.
sit down a while and share your narative with me,
i'm not afraid of who you are.
i've been busy. lots of things that make me individually content or happy, but past everything i'm still a very sad, self-destructive girl. i haven't been home all week except at nights when i clean and do homework, instead of sleep. lots classes and work. tuesday night i drove becky to dance class and sat in the back of the pretty little studio and read and watched the two girls dance. it made me miss dancing, but i could see myself twirling around in my head. yesterday i met with a director at ccc who gave me the educational training for carroll county schools. so i can work there now if i want.
i also started volunteering at the boys and girls club. 5 hours a week, which is a lot - believe me. this requires constant unlimited energy, patience, and so much love. it is extremely challenging, but i love it. the girls are shy, but you should see them dance.. the boys are difficult and hyperactive and ADD. they're all at-risk, black kids from downtown westminster. they're tough but i've only been working there 2 days and they're already warming up to me. i got some of the guys to settle down and played and read with them. and helped them with homework. and the girls are older so you can just talk with them. the quietest middle school girl asked me what day i was coming back then said "ok, i'll be here than." one little boy is very rebelious, would not calm down, started crying and tried to run away. so i sat him down and we played basketball and talked. then we found a very old, beat-up piano. he said to teach him. so i've started. it's good thing for heart-and-soul. then he asked me to play something else, do i did. and all of a sudden there were 20 kids standing around that old piano completely silent for the first time that day. now they all want to learn so i'm going to try a little. music is the one thing that seems to make them alive and light-up their faces.
tonight becky and i watched the virgin suicides. i think we like it because somehow it very directly relates to our little world. oh, and i just saw that emmy sent me a message on myspace and that made me happy and i want to respond, but right now i'm tired. and very very faint.
claire is 18 :] ..i've loved her to death for 4 years now.
**happy birthday (yesterday)!**