Wednesday
8am
Kashi bar
sweet tea
meds
11:00am
chef salad, fat free raspberry vinaigrette dressing
cut of fruit
water
5pm
sweet tea
granola bar
7:00pm
two small russet potatoes baked with canola oil and salt
butter, cheese
one can sweet peas
V8
9pm
sweet tea
two starbursts and a hershey kiss
Counseling went okay. No conclusions, but eh. I felt better having voiced those concerns.
I'm exhausted. Still hadn't been able to sleep at 3am last night.
I need to be working on my presentations due next week, but I'm so tired. Tempted to ask my boss if I can scoot out early, that is if my one student today shows up at 2:30. Maybe I can take a nap and then have dinner and get to work...
I feel as though my head and shoulders weigh three tons.
--edit
I took the night off. Making a conscious decision to relax is so much more rejuvenating than the times I end up slacking off without meaning to. Somehow, getting sidetracked or losing the battle with my will and brainpower is exhausting even if I end up not doing anything productive.
I got in, cleaned for a couple hours, then watched TV the rest of the evening. I didn't lurk at my computer waiting for virtual company. I had no conversations with people. I felt no obligation to make someone feel better, no need to entertain anyone. For once, the absence of those things didn't leave me feeling painfully alone.
I just laid back and enjoyed the way it felt and refused to feel any guilt about it.
And now I'm going to bed.