(no subject)
The Dream Maker [Jongkey Translated]
Jonghyun/Key | R | Angst, Fluff | Fantasy AU | 11,009
Behind closed eyelids, Jonghyun dreamt of the moon and the stars.
Part II
part II;
After a few days or weeks of not seeing her, Jonghyun finally ended things with Jessica. He told himself there really was no reason for their relationship if it was only pity on his part. A relationship had to be mutual, he really didn’t know why it didn’t end sooner, and it was exactly what he told her when broke her heart.
“Is it me? Is it because you found someone else?” Why? And her eyes were pleading tears and sorrow and panic. They reminded him of a new moon in the sky, dark and lonely.
“I just…you’re not the one that’s going to make me the happiest boy alive. I’m still searching for that someone.” And I think I found him. “We can still be friends, Jessica…” Bullshit.
“Jonghyun, I’ll be better, please.”
And he kissed her on the forehead, you still have my number, then he walked away, leaving the door wide open and giving her only the chance of friendship.
He spent his whole winter break composing songs, writing lyrics, singing and producing music, and his interest for it grew even greater than his interest in life. It became his life, and at his current age of twenty, he finally decided what he wanted to do with the rest of his years, and that was to become a musician and express himself and his voice, his words, to the world, to anyone who was willing to listen.
Kibum had only smiled when he told him what he wanted to do, stroked his cheek like he always did, and said you don’t have to be a kid to have dreams to reach for.
He was at his desk, lazily playing his most recent song with his old, worn out acoustic guitar, a mellow sound with a Spanish feel and complicated rhythms, and Kibum was on the bed behind him. The window was open, letting in the cold whisps of January air, numbing breezes that made Jonghyun’s toes curl and his muscles tense.
It was only seven or eight in the night, but Kibum was there with him as he’d promised, if you want, I’ll hang around with you any other time, and it made Jonghyun’s mind soar since he wasn’t alone.
He didn’t know what they were, no official title, just Kibum and Jonghyun, simple as that. They didn’t make things complicated, and in a way, they both knew they were just avoiding the situation altogether, but they didn’t mind. Kibum just told him to sit back and live in the moment, there’s no rush, and he remembered thinking, well, life isn’t too long, either, but he shrugged it off, literally, and he had accidently bumped Kibum’s head off his shoulder.
Jonghyun strummed the last few chords of the song and stood up, setting his guitar against the side of his desk, walked towards the bed where Kibum sat criss crossed in front of the open window, starring out to the twinkling stars that littered the black sky. He climbed onto the mattress and wrapped his frail arms around Kibum’s torso from behind, nuzzled his nose in orange, soft hair, left a light kiss at the star inked into the back of his neck. His body was bony and edgy, rough around the sides from protruding structures, and it made Jonghyun wonder if that’s what a star felt like. The front of his hoodie felt damp and icy, but he knew it was just the cold night rubbing off on his clothes.
Kibum smiled and leaned back in between Jonghyun’s legs, let himself be held with affection.
“Let’s leave this place, Kibum.” Let’s leave this life.
“Where to?” Alright.
“Let’s move to the city for awhile, to Seoul, leave all this behind.” I don’t want to live my life with regret.
“If it makes you happy, Jonghyun.” Only if it makes you happy.
And Kibum felt Jonghyun nod his head, felt his body press closer to his back and tuck his hands into the pockets of his large hoodie, and he thought, this is where everything changes, Jonghyun, then he tucked his own hands into the pockets to join smooth and bony hands.
“… let’s leave tonight.”
And Kibum complied.
He had a backpack of his most important things, money in his savings box from his job at the restaurant and the book store, his laptop, and clothes for him and Kibum to share.
On the way out the door, he didn’t look back, but he looked into Kibum’s eyes, who was trailing behind him, and he left with a kiss to his mother’s cheek, a hushed whisper against wrinkled skin, I love you, mom, and a letter on the pillow beside her head.
Mom -
I’m leaving to the city for awhile, just to explore another life I could live one day. I’m not happy with my life here in the outskirts of town, and I think you noticed it too. Lately, I’ve been getting into music again, writing lyrics and singing with the guitar you bought me when I was little, and when I return, I’ll be sure to sing a song, just for you. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, soon or maybe later, just take care of yourself. Please. At least now there’ll be one less burden to have to work for ^^. I’ll be okay, I’m old enough now.
-Jonghyun
They took the subway that led straight to Seoul, Bus 365, but it would take a good few hours to get there, and they were both tired anyways.
Jonghyun led the way to the back and took the seat next to the window. Kibum sat down beside him, hood up, just in case anybody saw him. It was part of his list of rules as well, to keep his identity low and not allow anyone to see him or recognize him, and it would be a complicated procedure to have to erase a number of people’s memories of his existence, anyway. He was Jonghyun’s dream maker, and it wasn’t anyone else’s business.
He was becoming human, something that meant he’d have to go back sometime soon and the end of his life on earth. He was spending too much time out during the daytime, spending too much time around humans and the public, and most of all, he was becoming too emotionally attached to his assignment. And it was all for Jonghyun’s happiness. As long as he was happy, he was following his duties as a dream maker.
The more human he became, the more energy he would lose. Kibum was dying.
The lights of the subway were eerie and white, making his dark circles even more prominent from its subtle nature before, and he looked almost ghostly from how tired he was, his face almost as pale as the moon. He had become an insomniac in the past nights from not being used to sleeping habitually, but he was slowly getting used to it, and everything about being a human was immensely new to him and hard to adapt to. His hands were becoming colder and colder, and his heart beat had become a sluggish pace that didn’t remain constant.
He hid all his troubles, though, and put on a smile for Jonghyun to see.
His head was bobbing here and there, trying to stay awake, and he realized then that he was actually becoming tired. Jonghyun pulled him down and rested his head in his lap, and Kibum practically shivered from the comfort it gave him.
“Since when do you get tired?” Are you okay, Kibum?
“Hm…just hanging around you too much makes me adapt to your ways.” I’m fading, Jonghyun.
Kibum wanted to hear words of reassurance whispered gently into his ear, but he knew he was the one who was supposed to provide that role of comfort and hope.
Jonghyun had pulled the hood off his head. He threaded his fingers through his orange hair, marveled in the feeling of the silky strands as if he were threading his fingers through clusters of stars, and it made his heart warm with happiness. Kibum was that cold breeze through his window that made his toes curl and his muscles tense, and suddenly his heart wanted to burst, with words and emotion.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Kibum’s temple, and the subway made a sharp turn, angled his head perfectly over his ear like fate, and everything fell to complete silence, the world shut down around just the two of them, time feeling like it had come to a complete stop for their existence, and his heart was humming in his ears, and he wondered if Kibum could hear it too.
“Kibum…I think I’ve fallen for you.”
And Kibum’s breath stopped along with the world, his heart skipping beats here and there, I’m not always going to be here to catch you, and it was only beating for Jonghyun. His body hurt, and his throat, so dry, felt like letting out a string of sobs, but he only nuzzled his face into Jonghyun’s thigh and hoped his salty tears didn’t leave stains on the fabric of the jeans.
Their lives became a part of the city, part of the crowded streets of people and the busy atmosphere that always seemed to be present.
He was sacrificing everything to make sure Jonghyun was happy, going out to explore Seoul and the shops they provided, pretending like he wasn’t tired or that his legs didn’t hurt when really, he could hardly walk five steps without wanting to rest.
He loved seeing that smile stretched across Jonghyun’s face, contagious and full of real happiness that Kibum fed off of it to keep from fainting. Jonghyun would hold his hand tightly in his own to make sure they didn’t split in separate directions, and every now and then Jonghyun would simply gaze into Kibum’s face, eyes full of love and affection for him, and it made him feel like he was still shining, brightest out of a sky of stars, and their roles had switched almost entirely.
He remembered standing in a packed crowd of people, all watching a group of boys break dancing and trying to earn money, and he saw the spark of inspiration light up in Jonghyun’s eyes, and he turned back to watch the scene before them. It was always so packed, and now that they were in the crowd, he was practically neck to neck with the man beside him. He remembers Jonghyun being closest to him, remembers him pressing lips against his ear, and the soft breath that cascaded across his neck and his face, the words I love you being whispered, so quietly no one around them could hear, but loud enough for his ears only. And he remembers smiling and feeling his heart bloom in so many directions it could have touched the sky.
They were lying on the floor in front of the small television before them, on the ground as well, and their living room lacked furniture and decorations, only the small sofa that came with the room which was positioned in the center of the apartment.
Jonghyun was lying on his stomach beside Kibum who was lying on his back. All the windows were opened to let in the cool night air, anything to get the heat off their bodies and dry the sweat that pooled at their necks.
Jonghyun traced the star on Kibum’s wrist, marveling at such a simple mark that seemed so perfect, and he pressed his face against the cool wood beneath his body.
“…Jonghyun?”
“Yeah?”
“If anything happens to me, you can’t take me to the hospital. I don’t actually exist on this earth as a human.”
He sensed the foreshadowing behind Kibum’s words, and he never wanted to admit that his dream maker would have to leave one day, back to his place in the sky with the rest of the stars. He didn’t want to think about when that day would come, and even now, he struggled to push it to the back of his mind, struggled to keep tears from surfacing.
“Kibum, don’t leave me…”
“I’m not leaving you Jonghyun, not right now.” Not yet.
And Jonghyun felt like his emotions would run out of control any moment, tears so close to spilling, his cup of tea filled so close to the brim, and he pressed his lips against Kibum’s thin wrist, against the star, so light like a butterfly’s wings fluttering against skin.
His skin was so sticky and moist when he pressed against Kibum, and his lips became so moist when they met in a desperate kiss. His body was shaking, and Kibum was trembling, and their hands were entwined so tight above the boy’s head, the wood floor beneath Kibum hard against his back.
It was getting even warmer, the sounds of moist skin against moist skin filling the room with whimpers and moans here and there, and he kissed Kibum, noticed his cheeks were wet, and for the first time, he wasn’t the one crying.
When he reached his climax, there were stars behind his eyelids. He opened them and saw Kibum.
He woke up late in the night, this time Kibum was beside him, and Jonghyun’s arms were around his body, truly asleep. He listened to his heart, beating with struggle inside his small chest.
He cried silently to himself that night, as if asking God to leave Kibum right where he was, in his arms.
They were walking eagerly and anxiously to a large building located somewhere near the subway station, the audition place to get into SM Entertainment as a trainee under their company, and the excitement and determination Jonghyun was feeling radiated off his small body with such energy everyone walking by took a second look.
It was cloudy that day, the sun hiding behind the fluffy puffs of white, and Jonghyun wondered why it couldn’t just come out for a moment on a special day like this, of all days. Kibum couldn’t have found it more fitting.
The building was crowded, large windows decorating its sides, and very intimidating, as if to say we only take the best of the best. It towered over their heads, tall and black, so many windows it looked as if the whole thing was made out of glass. With his guitar slung over his torso and Kibum’s hand in the other, he walked with his head held high through the automatic sliding doors of the building, the cold air conditioned breeze hitting him in the face along with the view of hundreds of people waiting in line to audition.
They waited minutes, hours, one person after another, and Jonghyun’s hands were sweaty and his leg bounced up and down continuously. Kibum would whisper encouraging words to him every now and then, you’ll do great, Jonghyun, and he’d feel that spark light up again that seemed to have died down when he watched as several people leave with disappointment etched onto their faces.
Kibum could hardly see where he was walking that day, his vision so dim he let Jonghyun do all the leading, and his head whirled in circles, trying to focus on what was in front of him. His body was drained, the energy in him practically gone, and he found it difficult to act as if he wasn’t hurting. He knew his time had come, so close he could have died right then and there on the ground before a crowd of people, but he held on, just for Jonghyun.
They got to the door, Jonghyun was next, and suddenly he felt as if the wait had been just a few minutes. Kibum kissed him on the forehead, his lips lingering just a few seconds longer, and he held Jonghyun’s hands in his.
“This is the moment you’ve been waiting for for so long, and it’s what I’ve been working to help you achieve this whole time. It’s the reason I’m here. This is your dream Jonghyun, don’t let it slip away. Give it your all, and I know you’ll do great. Just shine for them, Jonghyun.”
And he kissed him on the mouth, whispered I love you on his lips, and watched Jonghyun enter.
Jonghyun was auditioning, and he waited outside patiently for him to finish. The air was getting cold, and it was in the middle of summer, and he knew the skies were giving him signs telling him to end things soon.
He kept his head down to avoid eye contact with anyone passing by, and he watched as shadows slid across his feet and continued along the pavement. It was already dark out, the sun almost completely beneath the horizon, and he thought of how fast life actually moved when you were paying attention.
His vision blinked in and out of focus, black then he’d see the sun setting, then black again, and the sun was gone.
He didn’t know how long he sat waiting, he wasn’t even keeping track of anything, but when he noticed a pair of shoes stop before him, he looked up and saw the boy he’d fallen in love with, smile so wide it outshined the stars above him, and it literally sucked all the energy out of him when he couldn’t help but to smile back.
“They told me to call them back tomorrow, sometime after noon.”
And Jonghyun let out a satisfied and happy shout, leaned down and wrapped Kibum up in his arms tightly, whispered I made it, Kibum, and he let out the sigh he’d been holding, for years maybe or just hours.
After a few minutes, they stood up, ready to walk back to their apartment, and he felt incredibly dizzy, all the blood draining from his head and rushing to his toes, a dull thump sounding in his ears repetitively.
He grabbed Jonghyun’s elbow to stop him from moving.
“Hey, I’m really tired. Can we…sit...for a mom---“
And everything went black as he collapsed to the floor.
He was on Jonghyun’s back, and it reminded him of the time he saved Jonghyun from the man, reminded him of how he had to carry him on his back all the way home, the heap of warmth on his back, but mostly, it reminded him of the kiss they first shared on that night, and it made Kibum’s heart clench sharply in his chest.
His body was completely limp now, bones like jello and muscles like rubber, so full of exhaustion he could hardly move, so weak he felt like a rag doll being thrown around. His eyes were half lidded, an unknown weight trying to force them closed. But he wouldn’t allow it. Not yet, at least. He knew what would happen if he gave in. Just a little while more, he kept telling himself, just until the time is right.
Although Jonghyun was walking at a leisurely pace, he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings, and it was so dark out, looking around wouldn’t help much anyway. When he carefully helped him off his back, he finally took in where they were, his senses spiking from what he saw.
As completely and utterly simple as it was, Kibum felt his throat clenching and his mouth going agape. They were on a hill, one that overlooked the entire city of Seoul, a night sky full of so many stars he had to squint to look at them, and the city lights below a reflection of above.
He was sitting upright, and Jonghyun sat down, pushed himself against his side and wrapped a possessive arm around his waist. He rested his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder, and it was then that he realized that the time was right, and things would be all over soon. He knew why Jonghyun took him here, and he knew Jonghyun was aware of what was going to happen soon.
Tears fell like twinkling stars from his eyes, shimmered down his cheeks, dropped and puddled on the inside of Jonghyun’s palm, flowing into the creases of his hand, and he smiled, thought back to all the memories he experienced while on his assignment to bring happiness to Jonghyun. Just a few months, but it was enough. He wanted to stay, forever maybe, but he knew things didn’t work like that.
“Why are you crying?”
He looked into Jonghyun’s face, so breathtakingly beautiful and eyes full of experience, wisdom, and knowledge of the world. He was shining more right then, brighter than any star in the galaxy, and Kibum felt happy that he succeeded in bringing that smile back onto Jonghyun’s face. Now, he was finished. His business on earth no longer needed. Jonghyun was the star now, a star that would bring happiness and inspiration to people through his voice, and Kibum’s job was done, his energy fading to a dim glow, having passed everything from his heart to Jonghyun’s and enlightening all the dark crevices.
“I love you, Jonghyun.” I hope this moment would last forever.
“Me too, Kibum. Always.”
He leaned forward and pressed wet, tear stained lips against Jonghyun’s, salty and bittersweet, tasting of final goodbyes and lingering old memories. He felt the smile against his mouth, felt the hand gripping his waist and the closeness of his body, felt Jonghyun and his heart beating against his, and he didn’t regret a thing.
And then he smiled himself and shed his last few tears, gripped Jonghyun’s rough, hardworking hand, and in an instant, he felt the body go limp against his side, head falling on his shoulder as he fell asleep, a dream being brewed and almost ready to be played in his mind any moment.
Kibum, with one last kiss to Jonghyun’s forehead, closed his eyes, said goodbye to the world and the precious boy in his arms, and everything went black.
Jonghyun woke up the next night, his room dark with a strip of moonlight lying elegantly across his covers, reaching just the tip of his fingers, and he sat up, looking at the empty spot beside him.
A small pocket-sized glass jar lay directly at the center of the vacant pillow, and the moonlight draped directly over the object on his bed, as if to say look at this, and Jonghyun thought if inanimacy could talk, they'd be speaking with a subtle rushness at him.
Jonghyun held it in the palm of his hands, as if he were holding the world and its fragility in them. The jar was filled with powder, shimmery, pure, and full of beauty. He grabbed at the small folded paper attached on a string around the neck.
Pray that we meet again
Think that the world was jealous of us
Even if we’re far away from each other let’s keep our love
In your small heart, in our small hand don’t leave a scar
In your small shoulders, in your pretty eyes promise to not see the dark future
Pray that we meet again
The back of his throat strained, his eyes threatening to spill tears, and it hurt. He was so lost in his own heartache, and he didn't realize his wet cheeks, or his shaky breathing, and he didn't want to believe it, never did want to admit it, but Kibum was gone.
He looked out to the night sky, no missing spaces and everything in its right position, and he saw a twinkle, one of the stars winking at him from the night, and he smiled, wiped drying tears from his red cheeks.
Clutching the jar tightly in his hand, he held it against his heart, can you hear this Kibum, and he closed his eyes, falling asleep alone for the first time in months.
He dreamt about falling in love and stars and fox-like eyes that night, silent tears falling from his eyes, but Kibum wasn't there to wipe them away.
His dream maker wasn’t gone completely, he would visit him in his dreams, and Jonghyun looked forward to each night when he got to escape to his fantasy world of sleep.
You can sky-rocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by
Stardust to remember you by
It had been three years, three years since Kibum left and three years since he’d been a trainee under SME. He’d met Onew, a kind hearted person that was always smiling at life and enjoying himself in the moment, clumsily falling and tripping over himself but always laughing at his own mistakes, the person he’d grown to accept as a good friend, and the person who had been there with him through thick and thin.
He had also met Taemin, a young and naïve boy, always happy and still too young to understand life just yet, and Minho, a quiet, charismatic rapper with a caring personality for everyone.
These were the friends he would be pursuing his dream with, the friends he would be debuting with, and he couldn’t have been more satisfied with the President’s choice.
They all waited in the practice room, telling jokes and messing around, waiting for their new member to arrive, to make a group of five, as the President had said, there isn’t enough with just four, and he’s a talented kid, and Jonghyun was thinking, this is enough, though.
Onew was in the middle of talking about food when the door opened and soft footsteps echoed throughout the practice space, and everyone stopped talking to turn and look at the person who had just entered, who had just intruded on their conversation.
And Jonghyun stopped breathing.
“Hey guys, I’m Kibum, your newest member.”
And the world stopped moving and time stopped ticking.
A/N: And there you go guys! Jongkey version of The Dream Maker. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and look forward to another Jongkey fic soon! Right now it looks to be another long fic, I'm aiming for at least 10K words :]
Anyways, feedback is wonderful, and if you found any typos, please notify meee! :D