Same old song and dance

Mar 23, 2010 19:06

That sound? Was the last straw hitting the top of the pile. Seriously, I'm pretty done with Hollywood right now.

Ok, I was just going to leave this alone but I'm too annoyed. This is a new movie that's coming out in April:

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This is what it's copied from:

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I mean really? I know it's the same Hollywood mentality that says "Oh this was a hit let's remake it" but I honestly feel insulted by this. To start with, there's the racial issue. What they've basically done here is take this movie and fill it with a largely black cast. It's like they said 'black people won't understand the humor if we don't fill it with popular black actors and slang'. Then, and this part bugs the crap out of me, they make the 'bad' or 'antagonistic' characters white. Those people who are outside of the family and causing problems like the midget and the asshole. Don't even get me started on the white-boyfriend-meeting-the-black-family stereotype (and the fact that they replaced my sweet, funny, Alan Tudyk with a frat boy makes me want to hit something really really hard). The whole set up feels hinky. If the cast had been all black that part wouldn't bother me as much. This way it's feeding into this kind of us-versus-them mentality in a way that I have always found more than a little disturbing.

Also? I'm a little tweaked by how fast they remade it. The original movie only came out three years ago. It almost feels like plagiarism to me. Like those people on deviantart who take an artists work, copy it badly, and say 'Look at my work! Isn't it awesome!'. I think that's one of the reasons that remakes have always bothered me on some level. No matter how good or shiny you might think it is, a copy is still a copy and they are never as good as the original. Ok, I won't say never. There are films that are remakes that have been good but only when they've A) been as true to the source material as you can be with a film, or B) gone a different path from the original and have been honest about that fact. I find I'm more likely to judge them on their own worth in those cases. Unless I've missed something, they seem to be advertising this as a brand new movie and . . . yeah.

This whole thing has really cemented why I'm so dissatisfied with Hollywood lately. It's been pointed out to me that proceeds from big movie theaters go to fund film festivals for the up and coming writers and directors. I think that's cool but my issue is this: where are those people now? From what I can see they tend to fall into two catagories: Either they're the ones doing all the remakes because that's where the money is, or they're focused in certain categories. Unfortunately, those categories seem to be drama, animation, and stupid comedies.

Lets take this in order:
I don't mind dramas, they're just not my personal preference. My opinion is that there is enough of that in real life and I prefer a certain level escapism in my entertainment. I'm not against it, that's just the way it is.

I don't protest the animation either. As someone who was raised on cartoons as a kid I approve of it in fact. The problem I have is largely a holdover from being an Anime fan. It's nice that they put in humor that adults can enjoy, but at the end of the day it's still a kids movie. Sometimes I don't want the moral of the story spoon fed to me, I'd prefer to figure it out on my own. Oh, and when it isn't a kids movie? It's something like Avatar, which suffers the same failures as a live action movie. Let me put it this way. The only reason I went to see Avatar was that it looked pretty. The only reason I liked Avatar was that it looked pretty. The only reason I'm going to buy it later? Is that I want to find out how they made it look pretty. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

The only thing I really have an issue with on this list is the stupid comedies. While there are good comedies out there, and I don't mind if they're mindless once in a while, all the ones that seem to be coming out lately make me feel like I'm losing IQ points just by sitting there. But that's a different rant and I'm not going into it here.

Here's another example:
I just watched Clash Of The Titans a few days ago. It was exactly what it was supposed to be: a movie based on a story from Greek mythology. Granted it was, in itself, a twisting of the myth but it was true to it's source. It had Gods who were manipulative dicks, a semi-clueless but determined hero, friendship!, adventure!, and a female character who was actually a character and not a complete moron. In all honesty, re-watching this movie reminded me why I loved it so much. Now, compared to just the trailer:

"One day somebody's got to make a stand." No. No they don't. Because this isn't just a story this is part of a peoples belief system. You didn't defy the Gods unless you had a damn good reason and you had better be prepared for a shit-ton of consequences before they'd say 'Ok you earned my respect. You win, here's your prize.' There were no exclamations of DAMN THE GODS. Anyone who has ever read any mythology knows that you never said shit like that because it's like saying 'it's a piece of cake' in the Labyrinth. You have just challenged the PTB and they are now required to fuck with you on general principles (also mostly because they think it's funny).

'But you are not just a man.' YES HE IS. Perseus was not Hercules. He didn't have godly powers he had gifts from the Gods. Literally. He was given a sword, shield, and helm by Zeus' decree because he was favored by Zeus (and also his kid but we're not supposed to talk about that).

And lastly? Andromeda. Go watch the trailer. See that chick running hand in hand with Perseus? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's her. Now I know why they changed this part because of course it's an action!movie and you need a strong feminine role model (*cough*Athena*coughchough*) So of course Andromeda has to follow Perseus into danger . . . even though she's not a fighter, has no knowledge of how to defend herself from men much less monsters, and would very likely be in the way. But no, really, she should go with Perseus into the fight. *twitch*

That didn't happen. She insisted on accompanying Perseus on his journey because he was her husband, she was set to die in thirty days, and her only wish was to spend time with him just in case he couldn't find a way to save her. Because generally, if the Gods wanted you dead you died. End of story. She didn't try to follow him into danger because, as I pointed out above, she knew she would be a liability. This is an intelligent response from anyone, not just a woman. If there's going to be fighting you had better believe my ass is going to be on the sidelines because several years of haphazard karate classes is only going to get me and anyone trying to help me killed. So yeah, fuck the feminist crap, have fun storming the castle! *waves*

Oh and the kicker? Find the trailer on youtube and check out the comments. The handful of intelligent ones are drowned out by people saying 'Wow this looks like God of War!". . . you know, I could have just posted that comment right there and saved myself several paragraphs of typing. Also this.

*looks up* Holy crap that was long. But I think I can finally stop talking about it now. Aren't you relieved?

I feel kind of bad that my first post in months is a bitchy rant so, how are you? Read any good fic lately?

random, hooray for hollywood

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