Expectations: Dream of You Part 3 of 5
Series: Expectations
Adventure Eight: Dream of You Part 3 of 5
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: Yunjae, KyuWook, Various Other Pairings
Rating: R
Genre: Crossover, Science Fiction, Angst, Adventure
Warnings: Rape, Torture
Length Chaptered
Beta: unicornsinger
A/N: This story is inspired by Star Trek. The crew of the Expectations will be made up of members of DBSK and Super Junior. Instead of chapters the story will be broken up in adventures.
Summary: While the rest of the ship races to rescue Commander Cho and Shindong, Jaejoong and Changmin are forced to deal with each other. Lord ZhouMi’s reputation for cruelty proves completely warranted. As Kyuhyun struggles to survive the unbearable, he dreams of his life spent with Ryeowook.
FYI: Posting my stories elsewhere without my permission is STEALING! It really pisses me off, even if you credit me! I don't want them posted anywhere else(UNLESS YOU ARE A TRANSLATOR AND I HAVE GIVEN YOU PERMISSION!!!). If you see any of my stories posted at other sites, I'd be very grateful if you notified me or informed the site owner of the thievery! I don't want to lock my journal down again, but I will.
Prior Adventures
Changmin sat up on the side of the bed and listened as Heechul and Jaejoong discussed him just outside of the room as if he weren’t even capable of thought. “I can’t think like that,” Changmin whispered to himself, pushing aside his resentment. He had to let go of his anger. He was not exactly stable, and if Heechul was going to allow him out of sickbay, then he would have to follow their instructions.
“So, trooper, you ready to break free of this place?” Kangin asked as he entered Changmin’s sickbay room.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m your designated babysitter,” Kangin answered as he leaned against the wall. “Yunho has entrusted me with his only son. I’m touched.”
A huge smile broke out across Changmin’s face. “You mean Jaejoong won’t be?”
Kangin shrugged and looked apologetic. “Not so lucky, cowboy. Your mom isn’t going anywhere. We are both going to be watching over you.”
“That person is not my mother!” Changmin whined as he kicked the bed with the back of his legs in frustration.
Kangin rolled his eyes at Changmin, who was doing his best imitation of a spoiled brat, and amended his statement, “Your father’s wife and I are going to be responsible for you.”
“He is not my father’s wife.”
“I always call him your father’s wife.”
Changmin eyed Kangin skeptically, and asked, “Yunho approves of this?”
Kangin chucked, remembering Yunho’s usual response, “Nah, not at all, but I do it anyway.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I don’t think you are one to be talking,” Kangin informed Changmin, and then asked curiously, “So what are you going to call Jaejoong?”
“Jaejoong, Jae, Liar Jaejoong or Liar Jae,” Changmin informed Kangin in a deadpan voice that reminded Kangin of his old self.
“Well, however you refer to him is okay by me. But we are both going to be responsible for you, so behave yourself.”
“Behave myself? What do they think I’m going to do? Try to take over the ship?”
“Don’t act like you couldn’t manage it,” Kangin told him with a grin.
Changmin, whose emotions that were still far from under his control, looked suddenly tearful, and exclaimed, “Maybe before…well, definitely before, but now my brain is full of stupid Joong crap. I doubt my IQ is even average now.”
“That’s gotta suck.”
“It does. They are not an evolved race; they are just an old race…an old race of hermaphrodites,” Changmin explained, looking totally disgusted suddenly.
Kangin grin spread wider, his interest piqued. “Hermaphrodites…so do you have - ”
“NO!” Changmin screamed, interrupting Kangin, “I do not. I took after Yunho.”
Kangin tried to stop grinning at the beautiful, blonde young man with the perfect, fair complexion and extraordinary blue eyes. “You sure don’t look like it anymore.”
“Well, I did,” Changmin replied, puffing up like a toad.
Jaejoong walked into the room, giving Changmin a very disapproving look for screaming earlier. “Changmin, you do know we are in sickbay, correct? Do you wish to wake everybody up?”
“Who else is in sickbay?” Changmin asked, suddenly worried. “You told me Junsu, and Sungmin were fine! Did Junsu and Sungmin die? Did I kill them? Junsu used to annoy me like crazy, but I never wanted him dead. Am I a murderer?”
“No, you didn’t kill anybody!” Jaejoong replied quickly before Changmin totally lost it.
“Sulli is sleeping, kid. Just chill,” Kangin said, trying to soothe the science officer.
Changmin’s eyes lit up with sudden awareness, and he was up and out of bed instantly. He was out of the room before Kangin or Jaejoong could even register what was happening.
Changmin headed instinctively for Sulli’s sickbay room. Kangin and Jaejoong, who were both startled by his actions, rushed after him. Jaejoong cursed the necklace around Changmin’s neck that kept him from knowing what was going on in his disturbed son’s mind.
Changmin entered Sulli’s room and went immediately to the sleeping girl. He stared at her for only a second before grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her ‘til she awakened from her sleep.
“Changmin!” Jaejoong yelled, shocked at his son’s behavior as he entered the room. “What are you doing? Let her go.”
Changmin ignored Jaejoong and smiled in relief as Sulli’s eyes opened. He instantly let go of her once she had awakened, and sat down on the bed beside her.
Sulli pulled herself up and smiled back at him in awe. Her bruises were all gone, and she looked refreshed as she took in the sight of Changmin. “Changmin, you look like an angel.”
“I’m not, though…although I came close to dying, but I lived…you saved me.”
Sulli took Changmin’s hand and squeezed it. “No, we saved each other. If you had not been taken to Belara, I would still be there.”
“That seems logical, but I am not sure…my logic isn’t working,” Changmin explained to her. Jaejoong, who had stopped his approach as soon as the girl awakened, stood back at the doorway, watching. He was mystified by Changmin’s odd behavior. Jaejoong watched as Changmin was at total ease with the young woman, and suddenly calmer than he had been in days.
“Not working?” Sulli asked, confused.
“No, I found out who my other parent was…” Changmin paused to turn and glare back at Jaejoong. “And his people are totally illogical! I’m now an emotional wreck; plus, I’m stupid.”
“You are not stupid,” Jaejoong told his son in a long-suffering voice. They had repeatedly had this discussion since Changmin was returned to the ship. While Yunho was busy making plans to rescue Kyuhyun and Shindong, Jaejoong had been stuck dealing with a childish Changmin, who suddenly thought he was stupid.
Changmin’s calm started dissipating as he insisted, “I’m mentally handicapped!”
“You are not. You have had a traumatic experience, and you just need to give yourself time to adapt to your new abilities,” Jaejoong replied patiently.
“Like you would ever admit that Joongs are illogical and not capable of advanced levels of thinking,” Changmin spit back at his father.
“Changmin, you might not be stupid…but you are driving me crazy,” Jaejoong snapped back at his son.
Sulli, who had been listening to their exchange, laughed and told Changmin, “But Changmin, don’t be upset. You are so pretty now.”
“I don’t want to be pretty!” Changmin exclaimed, turning back to face a smiling Sulli. “I want to be smart!”
“Well, I am glad you are pretty,” Sulli said, squeezing his hand tighter. “You can be pretty and smart. I’m sure you will find your logic again.”
“I hope,” Changmin told her, his expression immediately softening.
With Sulli’s other hand that was not holding on to Changmin, she reached up and touched her face. “I’m smiling,” she said amazed.
“Yes, you are,” Changmin told her bluntly, not understanding her amazement. “I smile one minute, and I cry the next. It’s very unsettling. I wish I could stick to one emotion for longer than the span of a few seconds.”
Sulli laughed at Changmin and explained, “I haven’t smiled in so long…I thought I had forgotten how.”
“You can’t forget how to smile…I don’t think. Although if there was certain neurological damage to the motor and cingulate cortex…” Changmin paused as he noticed Sulli’s smile growing bigger. “What?”
“I think your logic is coming back?”
Changmin beamed at her. “I really hope so; I really hope my logic and my intelligence returns.”
“It will come back.”
“It would be greatly appreciated.”
Sulli nodded her head, and asked, “Changmin is it true…that I’m the only female on this ship?”
“Technically yes, although…SooYoung is alive!” Changmin screamed as he jumped up from the bed, waving his arms excitedly as he suddenly remembered an important fact. “She is alive, Sulli! Your cousin is alive!”
“She is?!” Sulli yelled back. just as excited at the abrupt news that her cousin was alive. “Where is she?”
“I do not know where she is right now, but in my dream…in my memory, it’s SooYoung who takes me back in time.”
“Changmin,” Jaejoong warned, stepping into the room.
Changmin ignored Jaejoong and explained to Sulli, “I was sent back in time as an infant, and it was SooYoung that took me through the Guardian of Time! I can’t wait to see a Guardian of Time. They are great portals into…that isn’t important now, but it was SooYoung that Jaejoong handed me over to. I can see it all perfectly, so she has to be alive.”
“Changmin, stop,” Jaejoong ordered as he grabbed Changmin’s arm. “Don’t…the future can’t be known.”
Changmin pulled free of Jaejoong and reminded him, “But I am from the future, and I do know. Your future is my past.”
“Just don’t…they can’t know,” Jaejoong pleaded.
Changmin’s eyes widened in fear, as he realized the implications of Jaejoong’s warnings, and knew what would follow. “You will make them all forget…won’t’ you? Don’t make Sulli forget. It isn’t bad to hope. I don’t want her to stop hoping again. Hope can be good…even if totally illogical.”
Jaejoong inhaled a deep breath; something about Changmin unsettled him greatly, and warning bells were going off in his head. “Changmin…knowing isn’t always for the best. Sometimes not knowing and the urgency it creates shouldn’t be tampered with.”
Changmin, who was much taller than Jaejoong, looked down at him unflinching. “No, you can’t make anybody forget.”
“Changmin, just calm down,” Heechul ordered as he entered the room after hearing the ruckus. “Jaejoong can’t make you forget anything as long as you wear that necklace,” Heechul reminded Changmin.
Changmin reached up suddenly and wrapped a comforting hand around the necklace and smiled triumphantly. “No, he can’t. I won’t forget! I won’t let anybody else forget either! I will make sure everybody knows.”
“Forget?” Sulli asked nervously from the bed. “Make us forget? But knowing SooYoung is alive is good…why would we want to forget that?”
Changmin glared at Jaejoong. “Because he likes secrets, but he doesn’t get to keep this one,” Changmin hissed as he hurried from the room. “I have got to tell Yunho!”
“Changmin,” Jaejoong growled, and hurried after his son. Kangin, who had been waiting out of sight observing everything, followed after them.
Sulli remained in bed and just stared at Heechul, at a complete lost. Heechul smiled at her in sympathy and sat down on the edge of her bed and explained, “Little Miss Sulli, let me explain the story of Captain Jung Yunho and how he one day saved a beautiful being called a Joong, changing his life forever.”
****************
Changmin stormed down the corridor on his way to the lift. He wasn’t letting Jaejoong stop him from telling Yunho that SooYoung was alive. Jaejoong would not manipulate him anymore.
Changmin reached the lift, and the doors opened automatically. Before entering the lift he turned to smile triumphantly back at Jaejoong. Jaejoong had no power over him as long as he wore the necklace, and Changmin would not allow him to have power over others either. Changmin quickly turned to get on the lift and slammed face first into the lift doors as they closed shut, preventing him entry. The force of the collision sent him tumbling backwards onto the floor. He stared up at the doors in dismay as he reached up to hold his now bleeding nose.
“Can you calm down for five seconds,” Jaejoong asked completely exasperated as he approached the younger man on the floor.
Changmin, whose dignity was hurt far greater than his nose asked, “Why are the doors malfunctioning?”
“Because Ensign Henry in engineering was mentally commanded by me to make them malfunction,” Jaejoong told Changmin as he knelt down beside his son, and inspected his face. “I can make everybody on this ship with the exception of you…do exactly what I want.”
“Ha…wh…”
“Listen to me, if you really want the whole ship to know that this woman is alive, then that is on you. Tell them, but you can not go to the bridge in this state and disturb Yunho. He has enough to focus on right now. He’s orchestrating a rescue mission with the assistance of an unreliable rebellion. He has to find Commander Cho and Shindong….you know he does. After what Commander Cho sacrificed for you…Yunho won’t ever be able to live with himself if he doesn’t save him,” Jaejoong explained to Changmin. “I can’t be there with him, but I can keep you from adding unnecessary stress to his already huge burden.”
“I don’t want to be a burden…I just wanted him to know,” Changmin explained, pinching his bleeding nose. “It’s good news. She is a good officer. If we get her back, it would help the ship. Even if she weren’t a good officer…he would want her back. He doesn’t want any of them to be lost.”
Jaejoong tapped his insignia and called for Yunho, “Yunho.”
“Yes,” Yunho immediately replied.
“Changmin says the woman who brought him back in time through the Guardian of Time when he was a baby was a person called SooYoung,” Jaejoong informed his bondmate verbally, so Changmin could hear him.
“Lieutenant Choi?” Yunho replied, surprised.
“Yes, it was her,” Changmin added. “She is the one who brought me to Earth.”
There was a pause and Yunho asked, “Changmin, what happened to your voice?”
“I have a bloody nose,” Changmin explained, still pinching his nose.
“And why do you have a bloody nose?” Yunho asked suspiciously. Kangin, who had heard and seen everything, started laughing as he leaned up against the corridor wall.
“Jaejoong made the doors shut-”
“It’s nothing, I’m about to take care of it,” Jaejoong interrupted Changmin quickly and tapped his insignia ending the conversation.
“Take care of it?” Changmin repeated his eyes widening as he leaned away from Jaejoong as the other man reached out and grabbed his hand.
Jaejoong, who had a firm grasp on Changmin, ordered, “Be still!”
“What are you doing to me,” Changmin whimpered as he felt a strange sensation spreading throughout his body.
Jaejoong let go of Changmin’s hand and stood up. “I was healing you, and you’re welcome by the way.”
“Wow,” Changmin said full of amazement as he reached up and touched his nose that now didn’t hurt at all and had stopped bleeding.
Jaejoong smirked at his amazed son and told him, “You are going to have to learn how to do that on your own, without the whole dying thing.”
“Yeah,” Changmin agreed. “I don’t even remember how I did it before.”
“You were in a healing sleep; your Joong instincts took over. You didn’t have to think,” Jaejoong explained as he reached out a hand for his son who was still sitting on the floor.
Changmin reached up took Jaejoong’s hand without hesitation and allowed his other parent to pull him up. “So, even if I have the necklace on, you can heal me?”
Jaejoong nodded his head and started walking down the hall toward his and Yunho’s quarters. “Yes, the necklace will allow healing.”
“How do I learn to heal myself?” Changmin asked, following after Jaejoong.
“You first have to learn control. The emotions you hate so much right now will give you strength, once you learn to control them. It’s actually harder to consciously heal yourself than it is to heal others,” Jaejoong informed him.
“Who can I heal?” Changmin asked as he tagged along after Jaejoong.
Kangin followed behind the two, smiling, not daring to say a word. He wished Yunho was in his place, to view their bonding as Changmin followed after Jaejoong like an eager puppy.
“Well, if you ever take a mate, you would be able to heal them, and if you ever have children, you would be able to heal them. Your mate and children will be the easiest to heal. A Joong can also heal close blood relatives to an extent.”
“Can I heal Yunho…or you?”
Jaejoong slowed slightly as he pondered Changmin’s question. “You are a hybrid…the first of your kind that I know of, but most Joong children can heal their parents to an extent…or strengthen their parents bond enough to increase their healing energy.”
“You said most Joong children…are not all Joongs the same?”
“No,” Jaejoong replied as he continued toward his quarters. “I’m actually a very powerful Joong…this is why Hyun Joong fears me.”
“The royal house of Joong,” Changmin said suddenly, “In Yunho’s report, he said the Guardian referred to you as Jaejoong of the Royal House of Joong.”
Jaejoong, who had reached his quarters, turned to look at Changmin. “Yes, I’m a prince on Joong. I come from a long line of powerful Joong. I guess that makes you a prince also.”
“Will that make the Guardian of Time listen to me?” Changmin asked, not caring about his royal status, but instantly intrigued by the thought of the Guardian of Time and all the secrets it could reveal.
“No,” Jaejoong replied instantly. “The Guardian does not care about titles.”
Changmin frowned. “But-”
“But nothing,” Jaejoong said, stepping behind Changmin and pushing him through the doors of the quarters he shared with Yunho. “You need to go wash your face.”
“Yes, I know, but I really want to learn more about the Guardian of Time,” Changmin told Jaejoong.
Kangin, who decided to wait outside in the hall outside their quarters, laughed as he heard Jaejoong tell his son, “Changmin, you are not going anywhere near a Guardian of Time! Do you hear me?”
*****************
He awoke in a panic, screaming for his mother, covered in a cold, clammy sweat with his heart racing. He laid in bed, struggling to control his labored breathing, as visions of aliens he didn’t recognize lingered in his mind as they took turns torturing him…raping him…tearing him apart. They whispered in mocking tones calling him a baby…calling him Baby Starfleet over and over again.
In the dream, he desperately wanted his mother, and he screamed for her ‘til his throat bled. This part of the dream he found very strange, since he had no memory of his mother. He had been taken from her at a very young age to learn the ways of his father’s empire…but in the dream, he cried for her knowing…knowing if she would just come for him, he would be saved.
The body beside him twitched, and the soft whisper of, “Momma” could be heard escaping its dry, bloody lips. ZhouMi flung himself out of bed fearfully….as he realized suddenly it wasn’t his dream at all.
ZhouMi backed away from the bed, and the beaten and battered body that lay crumpled upon it. ZhouMi went to the bar and poured himself, with very shaky hands, the strongest drink he had. ZhouMi had never known fear…he had inflicted a great amount of fear on others, but he had never known it. He surely had never truly understood it, or felt any empathy for those who invoked his cruelty. To be feared was to be powerful, were the words his father had branded into him since before he could even walk.
He guzzled down the first drink and then poured another. The drinks did him no good; his skin still burned as if he were the child who had been at the mercy of the strange aliens…strange aliens who had no mercy.
The rational part of his mind tried to be encouraged that the bonding must be happening for him to share such dreams with the half Joong, but were they dreams? ZhouMi could not imagine anybody dreaming such things…it had to be memories. They were memories that his half Joong prize had experienced in his childhood, and now that the time for bonding was upon them, they were sharing memories. ZhouMi found that for some reason, he took no joy in that fact the torture he had inflicted on the body in the bed had been successful, and the Joong’s ability to bond was emerging.
ZhouMi poured another drink and sipped it slowly. He did not want to share such memories…and what about the night before? He had tortured the half Joong repeatedly…he had hoped to enjoy the Joong sexually with its full cooperation, but his anger at its parents’ attacks on his empire had unleashed his most savage nature. He had called for medical twice to revive the half Joong, when the Joong healing abilities did not kick in.
ZhouMi put down the drink and rubbed his face as the unfamiliar feeling of guilt flooded him, as the body in the bed whimpered, still caught in those painful memories. Was the bonding occurring? Would he be changed forever? Would he live a life full of regret for the things he had done? ZhouMi walked to the mirror in his room to stare at himself…to see if he could still look himself in the eye. He walked to the mirror, knowing he would not find that old familiar pleasure he had always felt upon looking at his handsome appearance. No, he wouldn’t feel any pleasure, but still, he would make himself look himself in the eye. A powerful man must be able to look himself in the eye.
He approached the mirror, and the sight that greeted him was even more disturbing than he imagined. The necklace that had not left his neck since his initial dealings with Hyun
Joong glowed. With each painful whimper from the bed, the necklace glowed brighter, filling him with empathy for the tortured soul on the bed. Without thinking, ZhouMi removed the necklace from his neck and threw it across the room. The bonding was not occurring; the necklace had betrayed him.
****************************
Yunho nodded politely to the security guard outside his quarters and entered, completely exhausted, looking forward to at least three hours of sleep, before he had to be up again, greeting another rebel faction and ridding another world of the Warlord ZhouMi’s tyranny. It had only been a couple days, but he knew the warlord had to feel the pinch of the Expectations actions. They had confiscated over thirty ships and countless goods and given them to the Rebellion.
The Rebellion, though… Yunho could not help but worry about them. They did not have a strong leader, and only a few of them he suspected would have made it past the first round of the Star Fleet entrance exams. They were disorganized at best. Even men with great hearts and purpose needed a true leader. The Rebellion had too many leaders…which meant it had none.
Yunho pushed those thoughts out of his head. Right now, he just wanted to curl up with Jaejoong and sleep. His mate had been strangely distant with him, only showing up when his telepathic abilities were required. Yunho knew in some odd twist of events, the Joong was actually upset with Yunho….for being upset with him. His Joong mate just left him so puzzled at times.
Yunho come to abrupt stop when he noticed it was Jaejoong sleeping on the couch and not Changmin. Yunho knew that Changmin was staying in their quarters tonight, due to the fact that his son could not be trusted to be left alone.
The guard standing outside the quarters was there to make sure Changmin did not slip pass Jaejoong. Jaejoong’s telepathic abilities were worthless against Changmin as long as he wore the necklace, but if Changmin snuck out the guard would know…and Jaejoong would be alerted instantly. Changmin was still too raw from his experiences the past couple of days to be allowed to roam freely around the ship. Yunho had expected to find Changmin on the couch sleeping…not Jaejoong.
Yunho had not even had the luxury of sleep the night before, but he had hoped to sleep a little tonight. The memory of the day before and Jaejoong’s strange order for Yunho not to touch him returned in full force. Yunho suddenly realized that his usually clingy mate had avoided almost all contact with him since issuing that order.
He was suddenly extremely irritated, and almost headed straight for the bedroom to sleep, when he made himself stop. Yunho thought Jaejoong was being completely irrational…because if anybody ought to be holding a grudge, it should be him. Yunho forced himself to sit down on the floor and lean against the couch that Jaejoong slept on. Yunho reminded himself Jaejoong was not a human. “Maybe being an irrational pain in the ass was a Joong thing,” Yunho thought really loudly, and directed at Jaejoong.
“Yunho, mentally screaming at me is not cool.”
“Well, it is better than verbally screaming at you, and waking Changmin up.”
“Agreed, because I swear if you wake him up…I will hurt you, and I’ll wait at least a good five minutes before I heal you.”
Yunho couldn’t keep from smiling. “So the ten thousand questions continued.”
“Argh,” Jaejoong moaned, turning onto his side to face Yunho. “You just have no idea.”
“Oh, believe me I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Kangin said you were bonding. He said it was sweet.”
“What does he know? He hid outside the room ‘til his relief came.”
Yunho chuckled. “Well, nobody ever said he was an idiot.”
“Go to sleep, Yunho.”
“Do you still want me to avoid touching you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“You are sounding a lot like Changmin.”
“It runs in the family.”
“Not funny.”
“Why are we not touching?”
“Yunho, just go to sleep.”
“I sleep better when I’m with you.”
“You are with me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Well, we are not having sex for weeks, so get that idea out of your head.”
“Weeks!” Yunho could not keep from saying out loud. “You lied to me about Changmin the entire time I’ve known you, and somehow you are the victim! You are really starting to piss me off!”
“Keep your voice down!”
Yunho stood up, he was extremely angry, but forced himself to reply telepathically, “You know what? Never mind, because I didn’t even want to have sex with you! Not with Changmin in our quarters! I just wanted to hold you, but you know what? Screw that.”
Jaejoong quickly sat up on the side of the couch, but Yunho was already out of the living area, and in their bedroom with the sleeping Changmin. Jaejoong listened telepathically as Yunho told Changmin to scoot over.
“Get out of my mind,” Yunho ordered mentally.
Jaejoong just sighed and did as he was told. He listened with his ears as Yunho settled into sleep. Jaejoong knew he should say something to calm Yunho down, but he didn’t feel like filling Yunho’s head with more lies. He knew Yunho was so exhausted that not even his anger at his mate would be able to keep him awake.
Jaejoong stood up and walked to the entryway to the bedroom and watched Yunho and Changmin sleeping for over an hour, before leaving unnoticed.
*******************
Ryeowook sat in the middle of the bed he once shared with Kyuhyun, clutching an old, often read book tightly against his chest. His mind took him to miserable, dark places, and his heart wept for the only one he had ever loved. Was Kyuhyun still alive? Was he suffering? He would have given anything to trade places with Kyuhyun; Kyuhyun had suffered enough for one life…and Ryeowook winced, knowing he had not always made it easy for the man he loved. If he could only go back in time and correct all his mistakes…give them back the time he had foolishly wasted.
“Enter,” Ryeowook spoke softly, not of his own accord, as the doors to his quarters opened.
Jaejoong entered the darkly lit quarters, after telepathically compelling Ryeowook to open the doors for him. He walked into the bedroom, not ordering the lights on, as his eyes slowly adapted to the room.
“Do you think he’s still alive?” Ryeowook asked, not questioning Jaejoong’s ability to bypass his wishes to be left alone so easily.
Jaejoong sat down on the edge of the bed. “It depends. If he has been able to fool ZhouMi into believing he is Changmin…then he is still alive.”
“But…if they knew he wasn’t?”
“Then he is dead.”
Ryeowook squeezed his eyes shut, even though the room was dark, and fought the urge to scream. “ZhouMi’s men captured Changmin, Kyuhyun, and Shindong…they would have known who Changmin was….so, Kyuhyun is-”
“No, not necessarily,” Jaejoong said, interrupting. “Changmin was Hyun Joong’s leverage. We know that Hyun Joong was on the planet with them, that he forced Kyuhyun to call the Expectations. Hyun Joong would have kept Changmin’s existence a tightly guarded secret. He would not have let anybody remember Changmin or his ability to resist his mind control. If he was smart, he erased all traces of the encounter with Changmin, Kyuhyun, and Shindong on Trysor…and he is smart - a smart, slippery snake.”
Ryeowook tilted his head to the side trying to make Jaejoong out in the darkness, as he took in his words. “I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. If Hyun Joong did erase all memories of Kyuhyun, Changmin, and Shindong from the minds of ZhouMi’s people…Kyuhyun is now at the mercy of ZhouMi the Warlord.”
Jaejoong sneered and said hatefully, “ZhouMi has no mercy.”
“Thanks, that’s just what I needed to hear,” Ryeowook replied, trying his best to keep his fragile emotions under control.
“I have been recently chastised for lying, so forgive me for my brutal honesty.”
“Lights,” Ryeowook ordered, and the ships computer immediately turned the lights on in the room.
Jaejoong turned to look at the very distraught-looking Ryeowook, who was studying him closely. “You don’t have to turn them on…if you would rather not.”
“You look stronger,” Ryeowook pointed out, ignoring Jaejoong reply as he took in this calmer, more collected Jaejoong.
“My mental breakdown has been put on hold for the time being.”
“For the time being?” Ryeowook repeated, puzzled. “Yunho took the necklace off…shouldn’t you be happy?”
“I’m wonderfully happy,” Jaejoong said sarcastically, forcing a smile to appear on his face.
“I’m afraid I’m not going to believe that without mind tampering…why aren’t you happy? Is Yunho angry at you still?”
“Yes, since tampering with Yunho’s mind is so deeply frowned upon, he continues to be angry at me,” Jaejoong snorted and told Ryeowook.
“You do realize…it’s perfectly normal for him to be angry with you.”
“I really don’t care. He can be mad at me all he wants.”
Ryeowook stared at Jaejoong, truly confused. This Jaejoong didn’t even seem like the madly in love Jaejoong that he had grown accustomed to. “Did the necklace do something to you? Do you not love Yunho anymore? Did the necklace break your bond?”
“What?” Jaejoong asked, bewildered at the doctor’s question. “Of course I love him more than anything. As long as we are alive, our bond is intact. Just because I’m not some sappy, crying mess…you think I don’t love him? I’ve recently been told that you can be in love with somebody and still be angry at them.”
“Well…you just seem kinda cold towards him. The only other time I’ve seen you like this was when you thought you were shifting…” Ryeowook paused and his eyes widened. “Are you shifting?”
Jaejoong sighed loudly and folded his arms and telepathically ridded Ryeowook’s mind of such thoughts, and he reset Ryeowook’s mind back to the point when he had turned on the lights.
Ryeowook blinked, slightly unsettled, but unaware anything had happened. Ryeowook only paused for as second and asked Jaejoong. “You don’t mind the lights being on, do you?”
“No, I prefer the lights to be on,” Jaejoong told Ryeowook, as if the subject of shifting had never come up. “In my Joong form, my eyes adapted to the darkness, allowing me to see clearly. Changmin finds his Joong eyes intriguing. We spent most of the evening sitting in the dark, letting his eyes adapt to it, while he questioned me about all things under the sun.”
Ryeowook did not smile, but a flicker of amusement passed through him. “That sounds more like the Changmin we all know and love.”
“Yes, but sadly, human eyes do not adapt to the darkness,” Jaejoong pointed out.
“They adapt, but not like Joong eyes. We never see clearly in the dark.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing; perhaps one should not adapt to the darkness.”
Ryeowook frowned at Jaejoong, realizing his double meaning. “You take great pride in the fact that you never gave in to ZhouMi, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Jaejoong said, nodding his head. “Others would have given in.”
“Like Changmin?”
“No,” Jaejoong laughed bitterly. “Kyuhyun did this all to save Changmin, but if Changmin had arrived on ZhouMi’s ship, the power of his unleashed mind would have killed all of the crew, with the exception of ZhouMi…who would have been wearing one of those fucking necklaces.”
Ryeowook put down his book and glared at Jaejoong. “So, you think Kyuhyun’s sacrifice was in vain?”
“No,” Jaejoong quickly replied, feeling Ryeowook’s rage. “ZhouMi is incapable of flying his ship alone, and Changmin would not have been able to think clearly enough to help him…they would have died. Kyuhyun did save Changmin.”
Ryeowook’s anger calmed, but now tears ran down his face. “Sorry…it’s just that…the thought that it was all in vain. I can’t imagine that…that’s too terrible to contemplate.”
Jaejoong looked away from Ryeowook as the other man’s pain flooded him. “If he is dead…I can make it bearable for you.”
“What?”
Jaejoong still refused to look at Ryeowook as he clarified, “I can reinforce your acceptance and I can diminish the grief…you don’t always have to feel like this.”
Ryeowook reached across the bed grabbing Jaejoong’s arm, even startling the Joong and said desperately, “Never! Do you hear me, Jaejoong? Never! Don’t ever diminish my grief! He lost me once, and I judged his way of coping…I punished him. I robbed us of so much time. I will own my sadness….if he is gone. If he is gone…he deserves to be mourned. If I let you….if I forgot him, it would be worse…it would be worse than his sleeping with Sungmin. It would be a million times worse. Promise me! You will never make me forget…or make his loss easier for me to handle.”
Jaejoong pulled free of Ryeowook’s grasp and stood up. “Don’t hold me to promises - promises that you will only beg me to break.”
“No, I won’t ask you break this promise,” Ryeowook said firmly, shaking his head.
Jaejoong stared down at Ryeowook, torn between what he should say and what he knew to be true. “I won’t do it without your permission. You will have to ask me.”
“I won’t ask,” Ryeowook insisted, picking the old book back up, and holding it tightly to his chest.
“We will see,” Jaejoong told him, doubting the resolve of the broken-hearted man as he left the room.
Adventure Eight: Dream of You Part 3 of 5
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: Yunjae, KyuWook, Various Other Pairings
Rating: R
Genre: Crossover, Science Fiction, Angst, Adventure
Warnings: Rape, Torture
Length Chaptered
Beta: unicornsinger
A/N: This story is inspired by Star Trek. The crew of the Expectations will be made up of members of DBSK and Super Junior. Instead of chapters the story will be broken up in adventures.
Summary: While the rest of the ship races to rescue Commander Cho and Shindong, Jaejoong and Changmin are forced to deal with each other. Lord ZhouMi’s reputation for cruelty proves completely warranted. As Kyuhyun struggles to survive the unbearable, he dreams of his life spent with Ryeowook.
FYI: Posting my stories elsewhere without my permission is STEALING! It really pisses me off, even if you credit me! I don't want them posted anywhere else(UNLESS YOU ARE A TRANSLATOR AND I HAVE GIVEN YOU PERMISSION!!!). If you see any of my stories posted at other sites, I'd be very grateful if you notified me or informed the site owner of the thievery! I don't want to lock my journal down again, but I will.
Prior Adventures
Changmin sat up on the side of the bed and listened as Heechul and Jaejoong discussed him just outside of the room as if he weren’t even capable of thought. “I can’t think like that,” Changmin whispered to himself, pushing aside his resentment. He had to let go of his anger. He was not exactly stable, and if Heechul was going to allow him out of sickbay, then he would have to follow their instructions.
“So, trooper, you ready to break free of this place?” Kangin asked as he entered Changmin’s sickbay room.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m your designated babysitter,” Kangin answered as he leaned against the wall. “Yunho has entrusted me with his only son. I’m touched.”
A huge smile broke out across Changmin’s face. “You mean Jaejoong won’t be?”
Kangin shrugged and looked apologetic. “Not so lucky, cowboy. Your mom isn’t going anywhere. We are both going to be watching over you.”
“That person is not my mother!” Changmin whined as he kicked the bed with the back of his legs in frustration.
Kangin rolled his eyes at Changmin, who was doing his best imitation of a spoiled brat, and amended his statement, “Your father’s wife and I are going to be responsible for you.”
“He is not my father’s wife.”
“I always call him your father’s wife.”
Changmin eyed Kangin skeptically, and asked, “Yunho approves of this?”
Kangin chucked, remembering Yunho’s usual response, “Nah, not at all, but I do it anyway.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I don’t think you are one to be talking,” Kangin informed Changmin, and then asked curiously, “So what are you going to call Jaejoong?”
“Jaejoong, Jae, Liar Jaejoong or Liar Jae,” Changmin informed Kangin in a deadpan voice that reminded Kangin of his old self.
“Well, however you refer to him is okay by me. But we are both going to be responsible for you, so behave yourself.”
“Behave myself? What do they think I’m going to do? Try to take over the ship?”
“Don’t act like you couldn’t manage it,” Kangin told him with a grin.
Changmin, whose emotions that were still far from under his control, looked suddenly tearful, and exclaimed, “Maybe before…well, definitely before, but now my brain is full of stupid Joong crap. I doubt my IQ is even average now.”
“That’s gotta suck.”
“It does. They are not an evolved race; they are just an old race…an old race of hermaphrodites,” Changmin explained, looking totally disgusted suddenly.
Kangin grin spread wider, his interest piqued. “Hermaphrodites…so do you have - ”
“NO!” Changmin screamed, interrupting Kangin, “I do not. I took after Yunho.”
Kangin tried to stop grinning at the beautiful, blonde young man with the perfect, fair complexion and extraordinary blue eyes. “You sure don’t look like it anymore.”
“Well, I did,” Changmin replied, puffing up like a toad.
Jaejoong walked into the room, giving Changmin a very disapproving look for screaming earlier. “Changmin, you do know we are in sickbay, correct? Do you wish to wake everybody up?”
“Who else is in sickbay?” Changmin asked, suddenly worried. “You told me Junsu, and Sungmin were fine! Did Junsu and Sungmin die? Did I kill them? Junsu used to annoy me like crazy, but I never wanted him dead. Am I a murderer?”
“No, you didn’t kill anybody!” Jaejoong replied quickly before Changmin totally lost it.
“Sulli is sleeping, kid. Just chill,” Kangin said, trying to soothe the science officer.
Changmin’s eyes lit up with sudden awareness, and he was up and out of bed instantly. He was out of the room before Kangin or Jaejoong could even register what was happening.
Changmin headed instinctively for Sulli’s sickbay room. Kangin and Jaejoong, who were both startled by his actions, rushed after him. Jaejoong cursed the necklace around Changmin’s neck that kept him from knowing what was going on in his disturbed son’s mind.
Changmin entered Sulli’s room and went immediately to the sleeping girl. He stared at her for only a second before grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her ‘til she awakened from her sleep.
“Changmin!” Jaejoong yelled, shocked at his son’s behavior as he entered the room. “What are you doing? Let her go.”
Changmin ignored Jaejoong and smiled in relief as Sulli’s eyes opened. He instantly let go of her once she had awakened, and sat down on the bed beside her.
Sulli pulled herself up and smiled back at him in awe. Her bruises were all gone, and she looked refreshed as she took in the sight of Changmin. “Changmin, you look like an angel.”
“I’m not, though…although I came close to dying, but I lived…you saved me.”
Sulli took Changmin’s hand and squeezed it. “No, we saved each other. If you had not been taken to Belara, I would still be there.”
“That seems logical, but I am not sure…my logic isn’t working,” Changmin explained to her. Jaejoong, who had stopped his approach as soon as the girl awakened, stood back at the doorway, watching. He was mystified by Changmin’s odd behavior. Jaejoong watched as Changmin was at total ease with the young woman, and suddenly calmer than he had been in days.
“Not working?” Sulli asked, confused.
“No, I found out who my other parent was…” Changmin paused to turn and glare back at Jaejoong. “And his people are totally illogical! I’m now an emotional wreck; plus, I’m stupid.”
“You are not stupid,” Jaejoong told his son in a long-suffering voice. They had repeatedly had this discussion since Changmin was returned to the ship. While Yunho was busy making plans to rescue Kyuhyun and Shindong, Jaejoong had been stuck dealing with a childish Changmin, who suddenly thought he was stupid.
Changmin’s calm started dissipating as he insisted, “I’m mentally handicapped!”
“You are not. You have had a traumatic experience, and you just need to give yourself time to adapt to your new abilities,” Jaejoong replied patiently.
“Like you would ever admit that Joongs are illogical and not capable of advanced levels of thinking,” Changmin spit back at his father.
“Changmin, you might not be stupid…but you are driving me crazy,” Jaejoong snapped back at his son.
Sulli, who had been listening to their exchange, laughed and told Changmin, “But Changmin, don’t be upset. You are so pretty now.”
“I don’t want to be pretty!” Changmin exclaimed, turning back to face a smiling Sulli. “I want to be smart!”
“Well, I am glad you are pretty,” Sulli said, squeezing his hand tighter. “You can be pretty and smart. I’m sure you will find your logic again.”
“I hope,” Changmin told her, his expression immediately softening.
With Sulli’s other hand that was not holding on to Changmin, she reached up and touched her face. “I’m smiling,” she said amazed.
“Yes, you are,” Changmin told her bluntly, not understanding her amazement. “I smile one minute, and I cry the next. It’s very unsettling. I wish I could stick to one emotion for longer than the span of a few seconds.”
Sulli laughed at Changmin and explained, “I haven’t smiled in so long…I thought I had forgotten how.”
“You can’t forget how to smile…I don’t think. Although if there was certain neurological damage to the motor and cingulate cortex…” Changmin paused as he noticed Sulli’s smile growing bigger. “What?”
“I think your logic is coming back?”
Changmin beamed at her. “I really hope so; I really hope my logic and my intelligence returns.”
“It will come back.”
“It would be greatly appreciated.”
Sulli nodded her head, and asked, “Changmin is it true…that I’m the only female on this ship?”
“Technically yes, although…SooYoung is alive!” Changmin screamed as he jumped up from the bed, waving his arms excitedly as he suddenly remembered an important fact. “She is alive, Sulli! Your cousin is alive!”
“She is?!” Sulli yelled back. just as excited at the abrupt news that her cousin was alive. “Where is she?”
“I do not know where she is right now, but in my dream…in my memory, it’s SooYoung who takes me back in time.”
“Changmin,” Jaejoong warned, stepping into the room.
Changmin ignored Jaejoong and explained to Sulli, “I was sent back in time as an infant, and it was SooYoung that took me through the Guardian of Time! I can’t wait to see a Guardian of Time. They are great portals into…that isn’t important now, but it was SooYoung that Jaejoong handed me over to. I can see it all perfectly, so she has to be alive.”
“Changmin, stop,” Jaejoong ordered as he grabbed Changmin’s arm. “Don’t…the future can’t be known.”
Changmin pulled free of Jaejoong and reminded him, “But I am from the future, and I do know. Your future is my past.”
“Just don’t…they can’t know,” Jaejoong pleaded.
Changmin’s eyes widened in fear, as he realized the implications of Jaejoong’s warnings, and knew what would follow. “You will make them all forget…won’t’ you? Don’t make Sulli forget. It isn’t bad to hope. I don’t want her to stop hoping again. Hope can be good…even if totally illogical.”
Jaejoong inhaled a deep breath; something about Changmin unsettled him greatly, and warning bells were going off in his head. “Changmin…knowing isn’t always for the best. Sometimes not knowing and the urgency it creates shouldn’t be tampered with.”
Changmin, who was much taller than Jaejoong, looked down at him unflinching. “No, you can’t make anybody forget.”
“Changmin, just calm down,” Heechul ordered as he entered the room after hearing the ruckus. “Jaejoong can’t make you forget anything as long as you wear that necklace,” Heechul reminded Changmin.
Changmin reached up suddenly and wrapped a comforting hand around the necklace and smiled triumphantly. “No, he can’t. I won’t forget! I won’t let anybody else forget either! I will make sure everybody knows.”
“Forget?” Sulli asked nervously from the bed. “Make us forget? But knowing SooYoung is alive is good…why would we want to forget that?”
Changmin glared at Jaejoong. “Because he likes secrets, but he doesn’t get to keep this one,” Changmin hissed as he hurried from the room. “I have got to tell Yunho!”
“Changmin,” Jaejoong growled, and hurried after his son. Kangin, who had been waiting out of sight observing everything, followed after them.
Sulli remained in bed and just stared at Heechul, at a complete lost. Heechul smiled at her in sympathy and sat down on the edge of her bed and explained, “Little Miss Sulli, let me explain the story of Captain Jung Yunho and how he one day saved a beautiful being called a Joong, changing his life forever.”
****************
Changmin stormed down the corridor on his way to the lift. He wasn’t letting Jaejoong stop him from telling Yunho that SooYoung was alive. Jaejoong would not manipulate him anymore.
Changmin reached the lift, and the doors opened automatically. Before entering the lift he turned to smile triumphantly back at Jaejoong. Jaejoong had no power over him as long as he wore the necklace, and Changmin would not allow him to have power over others either. Changmin quickly turned to get on the lift and slammed face first into the lift doors as they closed shut, preventing him entry. The force of the collision sent him tumbling backwards onto the floor. He stared up at the doors in dismay as he reached up to hold his now bleeding nose.
“Can you calm down for five seconds,” Jaejoong asked completely exasperated as he approached the younger man on the floor.
Changmin, whose dignity was hurt far greater than his nose asked, “Why are the doors malfunctioning?”
“Because Ensign Henry in engineering was mentally commanded by me to make them malfunction,” Jaejoong told Changmin as he knelt down beside his son, and inspected his face. “I can make everybody on this ship with the exception of you…do exactly what I want.”
“Ha…wh…”
“Listen to me, if you really want the whole ship to know that this woman is alive, then that is on you. Tell them, but you can not go to the bridge in this state and disturb Yunho. He has enough to focus on right now. He’s orchestrating a rescue mission with the assistance of an unreliable rebellion. He has to find Commander Cho and Shindong….you know he does. After what Commander Cho sacrificed for you…Yunho won’t ever be able to live with himself if he doesn’t save him,” Jaejoong explained to Changmin. “I can’t be there with him, but I can keep you from adding unnecessary stress to his already huge burden.”
“I don’t want to be a burden…I just wanted him to know,” Changmin explained, pinching his bleeding nose. “It’s good news. She is a good officer. If we get her back, it would help the ship. Even if she weren’t a good officer…he would want her back. He doesn’t want any of them to be lost.”
Jaejoong tapped his insignia and called for Yunho, “Yunho.”
“Yes,” Yunho immediately replied.
“Changmin says the woman who brought him back in time through the Guardian of Time when he was a baby was a person called SooYoung,” Jaejoong informed his bondmate verbally, so Changmin could hear him.
“Lieutenant Choi?” Yunho replied, surprised.
“Yes, it was her,” Changmin added. “She is the one who brought me to Earth.”
There was a pause and Yunho asked, “Changmin, what happened to your voice?”
“I have a bloody nose,” Changmin explained, still pinching his nose.
“And why do you have a bloody nose?” Yunho asked suspiciously. Kangin, who had heard and seen everything, started laughing as he leaned up against the corridor wall.
“Jaejoong made the doors shut-”
“It’s nothing, I’m about to take care of it,” Jaejoong interrupted Changmin quickly and tapped his insignia ending the conversation.
“Take care of it?” Changmin repeated his eyes widening as he leaned away from Jaejoong as the other man reached out and grabbed his hand.
Jaejoong, who had a firm grasp on Changmin, ordered, “Be still!”
“What are you doing to me,” Changmin whimpered as he felt a strange sensation spreading throughout his body.
Jaejoong let go of Changmin’s hand and stood up. “I was healing you, and you’re welcome by the way.”
“Wow,” Changmin said full of amazement as he reached up and touched his nose that now didn’t hurt at all and had stopped bleeding.
Jaejoong smirked at his amazed son and told him, “You are going to have to learn how to do that on your own, without the whole dying thing.”
“Yeah,” Changmin agreed. “I don’t even remember how I did it before.”
“You were in a healing sleep; your Joong instincts took over. You didn’t have to think,” Jaejoong explained as he reached out a hand for his son who was still sitting on the floor.
Changmin reached up took Jaejoong’s hand without hesitation and allowed his other parent to pull him up. “So, even if I have the necklace on, you can heal me?”
Jaejoong nodded his head and started walking down the hall toward his and Yunho’s quarters. “Yes, the necklace will allow healing.”
“How do I learn to heal myself?” Changmin asked, following after Jaejoong.
“You first have to learn control. The emotions you hate so much right now will give you strength, once you learn to control them. It’s actually harder to consciously heal yourself than it is to heal others,” Jaejoong informed him.
“Who can I heal?” Changmin asked as he tagged along after Jaejoong.
Kangin followed behind the two, smiling, not daring to say a word. He wished Yunho was in his place, to view their bonding as Changmin followed after Jaejoong like an eager puppy.
“Well, if you ever take a mate, you would be able to heal them, and if you ever have children, you would be able to heal them. Your mate and children will be the easiest to heal. A Joong can also heal close blood relatives to an extent.”
“Can I heal Yunho…or you?”
Jaejoong slowed slightly as he pondered Changmin’s question. “You are a hybrid…the first of your kind that I know of, but most Joong children can heal their parents to an extent…or strengthen their parents bond enough to increase their healing energy.”
“You said most Joong children…are not all Joongs the same?”
“No,” Jaejoong replied as he continued toward his quarters. “I’m actually a very powerful Joong…this is why Hyun Joong fears me.”
“The royal house of Joong,” Changmin said suddenly, “In Yunho’s report, he said the Guardian referred to you as Jaejoong of the Royal House of Joong.”
Jaejoong, who had reached his quarters, turned to look at Changmin. “Yes, I’m a prince on Joong. I come from a long line of powerful Joong. I guess that makes you a prince also.”
“Will that make the Guardian of Time listen to me?” Changmin asked, not caring about his royal status, but instantly intrigued by the thought of the Guardian of Time and all the secrets it could reveal.
“No,” Jaejoong replied instantly. “The Guardian does not care about titles.”
Changmin frowned. “But-”
“But nothing,” Jaejoong said, stepping behind Changmin and pushing him through the doors of the quarters he shared with Yunho. “You need to go wash your face.”
“Yes, I know, but I really want to learn more about the Guardian of Time,” Changmin told Jaejoong.
Kangin, who decided to wait outside in the hall outside their quarters, laughed as he heard Jaejoong tell his son, “Changmin, you are not going anywhere near a Guardian of Time! Do you hear me?”
*****************
He awoke in a panic, screaming for his mother, covered in a cold, clammy sweat with his heart racing. He laid in bed, struggling to control his labored breathing, as visions of aliens he didn’t recognize lingered in his mind as they took turns torturing him…raping him…tearing him apart. They whispered in mocking tones calling him a baby…calling him Baby Starfleet over and over again.
In the dream, he desperately wanted his mother, and he screamed for her ‘til his throat bled. This part of the dream he found very strange, since he had no memory of his mother. He had been taken from her at a very young age to learn the ways of his father’s empire…but in the dream, he cried for her knowing…knowing if she would just come for him, he would be saved.
The body beside him twitched, and the soft whisper of, “Momma” could be heard escaping its dry, bloody lips. ZhouMi flung himself out of bed fearfully….as he realized suddenly it wasn’t his dream at all.
ZhouMi backed away from the bed, and the beaten and battered body that lay crumpled upon it. ZhouMi went to the bar and poured himself, with very shaky hands, the strongest drink he had. ZhouMi had never known fear…he had inflicted a great amount of fear on others, but he had never known it. He surely had never truly understood it, or felt any empathy for those who invoked his cruelty. To be feared was to be powerful, were the words his father had branded into him since before he could even walk.
He guzzled down the first drink and then poured another. The drinks did him no good; his skin still burned as if he were the child who had been at the mercy of the strange aliens…strange aliens who had no mercy.
The rational part of his mind tried to be encouraged that the bonding must be happening for him to share such dreams with the half Joong, but were they dreams? ZhouMi could not imagine anybody dreaming such things…it had to be memories. They were memories that his half Joong prize had experienced in his childhood, and now that the time for bonding was upon them, they were sharing memories. ZhouMi found that for some reason, he took no joy in that fact the torture he had inflicted on the body in the bed had been successful, and the Joong’s ability to bond was emerging.
ZhouMi poured another drink and sipped it slowly. He did not want to share such memories…and what about the night before? He had tortured the half Joong repeatedly…he had hoped to enjoy the Joong sexually with its full cooperation, but his anger at its parents’ attacks on his empire had unleashed his most savage nature. He had called for medical twice to revive the half Joong, when the Joong healing abilities did not kick in.
ZhouMi put down the drink and rubbed his face as the unfamiliar feeling of guilt flooded him, as the body in the bed whimpered, still caught in those painful memories. Was the bonding occurring? Would he be changed forever? Would he live a life full of regret for the things he had done? ZhouMi walked to the mirror in his room to stare at himself…to see if he could still look himself in the eye. He walked to the mirror, knowing he would not find that old familiar pleasure he had always felt upon looking at his handsome appearance. No, he wouldn’t feel any pleasure, but still, he would make himself look himself in the eye. A powerful man must be able to look himself in the eye.
He approached the mirror, and the sight that greeted him was even more disturbing than he imagined. The necklace that had not left his neck since his initial dealings with Hyun
Joong glowed. With each painful whimper from the bed, the necklace glowed brighter, filling him with empathy for the tortured soul on the bed. Without thinking, ZhouMi removed the necklace from his neck and threw it across the room. The bonding was not occurring; the necklace had betrayed him.
****************************
Yunho nodded politely to the security guard outside his quarters and entered, completely exhausted, looking forward to at least three hours of sleep, before he had to be up again, greeting another rebel faction and ridding another world of the Warlord ZhouMi’s tyranny. It had only been a couple days, but he knew the warlord had to feel the pinch of the Expectations actions. They had confiscated over thirty ships and countless goods and given them to the Rebellion.
The Rebellion, though… Yunho could not help but worry about them. They did not have a strong leader, and only a few of them he suspected would have made it past the first round of the Star Fleet entrance exams. They were disorganized at best. Even men with great hearts and purpose needed a true leader. The Rebellion had too many leaders…which meant it had none.
Yunho pushed those thoughts out of his head. Right now, he just wanted to curl up with Jaejoong and sleep. His mate had been strangely distant with him, only showing up when his telepathic abilities were required. Yunho knew in some odd twist of events, the Joong was actually upset with Yunho….for being upset with him. His Joong mate just left him so puzzled at times.
Yunho come to abrupt stop when he noticed it was Jaejoong sleeping on the couch and not Changmin. Yunho knew that Changmin was staying in their quarters tonight, due to the fact that his son could not be trusted to be left alone.
The guard standing outside the quarters was there to make sure Changmin did not slip pass Jaejoong. Jaejoong’s telepathic abilities were worthless against Changmin as long as he wore the necklace, but if Changmin snuck out the guard would know…and Jaejoong would be alerted instantly. Changmin was still too raw from his experiences the past couple of days to be allowed to roam freely around the ship. Yunho had expected to find Changmin on the couch sleeping…not Jaejoong.
Yunho had not even had the luxury of sleep the night before, but he had hoped to sleep a little tonight. The memory of the day before and Jaejoong’s strange order for Yunho not to touch him returned in full force. Yunho suddenly realized that his usually clingy mate had avoided almost all contact with him since issuing that order.
He was suddenly extremely irritated, and almost headed straight for the bedroom to sleep, when he made himself stop. Yunho thought Jaejoong was being completely irrational…because if anybody ought to be holding a grudge, it should be him. Yunho forced himself to sit down on the floor and lean against the couch that Jaejoong slept on. Yunho reminded himself Jaejoong was not a human. “Maybe being an irrational pain in the ass was a Joong thing,” Yunho thought really loudly, and directed at Jaejoong.
“Yunho, mentally screaming at me is not cool.”
“Well, it is better than verbally screaming at you, and waking Changmin up.”
“Agreed, because I swear if you wake him up…I will hurt you, and I’ll wait at least a good five minutes before I heal you.”
Yunho couldn’t keep from smiling. “So the ten thousand questions continued.”
“Argh,” Jaejoong moaned, turning onto his side to face Yunho. “You just have no idea.”
“Oh, believe me I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Kangin said you were bonding. He said it was sweet.”
“What does he know? He hid outside the room ‘til his relief came.”
Yunho chuckled. “Well, nobody ever said he was an idiot.”
“Go to sleep, Yunho.”
“Do you still want me to avoid touching you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“You are sounding a lot like Changmin.”
“It runs in the family.”
“Not funny.”
“Why are we not touching?”
“Yunho, just go to sleep.”
“I sleep better when I’m with you.”
“You are with me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Well, we are not having sex for weeks, so get that idea out of your head.”
“Weeks!” Yunho could not keep from saying out loud. “You lied to me about Changmin the entire time I’ve known you, and somehow you are the victim! You are really starting to piss me off!”
“Keep your voice down!”
Yunho stood up, he was extremely angry, but forced himself to reply telepathically, “You know what? Never mind, because I didn’t even want to have sex with you! Not with Changmin in our quarters! I just wanted to hold you, but you know what? Screw that.”
Jaejoong quickly sat up on the side of the couch, but Yunho was already out of the living area, and in their bedroom with the sleeping Changmin. Jaejoong listened telepathically as Yunho told Changmin to scoot over.
“Get out of my mind,” Yunho ordered mentally.
Jaejoong just sighed and did as he was told. He listened with his ears as Yunho settled into sleep. Jaejoong knew he should say something to calm Yunho down, but he didn’t feel like filling Yunho’s head with more lies. He knew Yunho was so exhausted that not even his anger at his mate would be able to keep him awake.
Jaejoong stood up and walked to the entryway to the bedroom and watched Yunho and Changmin sleeping for over an hour, before leaving unnoticed.
*******************
Ryeowook sat in the middle of the bed he once shared with Kyuhyun, clutching an old, often read book tightly against his chest. His mind took him to miserable, dark places, and his heart wept for the only one he had ever loved. Was Kyuhyun still alive? Was he suffering? He would have given anything to trade places with Kyuhyun; Kyuhyun had suffered enough for one life…and Ryeowook winced, knowing he had not always made it easy for the man he loved. If he could only go back in time and correct all his mistakes…give them back the time he had foolishly wasted.
“Enter,” Ryeowook spoke softly, not of his own accord, as the doors to his quarters opened.
Jaejoong entered the darkly lit quarters, after telepathically compelling Ryeowook to open the doors for him. He walked into the bedroom, not ordering the lights on, as his eyes slowly adapted to the room.
“Do you think he’s still alive?” Ryeowook asked, not questioning Jaejoong’s ability to bypass his wishes to be left alone so easily.
Jaejoong sat down on the edge of the bed. “It depends. If he has been able to fool ZhouMi into believing he is Changmin…then he is still alive.”
“But…if they knew he wasn’t?”
“Then he is dead.”
Ryeowook squeezed his eyes shut, even though the room was dark, and fought the urge to scream. “ZhouMi’s men captured Changmin, Kyuhyun, and Shindong…they would have known who Changmin was….so, Kyuhyun is-”
“No, not necessarily,” Jaejoong said, interrupting. “Changmin was Hyun Joong’s leverage. We know that Hyun Joong was on the planet with them, that he forced Kyuhyun to call the Expectations. Hyun Joong would have kept Changmin’s existence a tightly guarded secret. He would not have let anybody remember Changmin or his ability to resist his mind control. If he was smart, he erased all traces of the encounter with Changmin, Kyuhyun, and Shindong on Trysor…and he is smart - a smart, slippery snake.”
Ryeowook tilted his head to the side trying to make Jaejoong out in the darkness, as he took in his words. “I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. If Hyun Joong did erase all memories of Kyuhyun, Changmin, and Shindong from the minds of ZhouMi’s people…Kyuhyun is now at the mercy of ZhouMi the Warlord.”
Jaejoong sneered and said hatefully, “ZhouMi has no mercy.”
“Thanks, that’s just what I needed to hear,” Ryeowook replied, trying his best to keep his fragile emotions under control.
“I have been recently chastised for lying, so forgive me for my brutal honesty.”
“Lights,” Ryeowook ordered, and the ships computer immediately turned the lights on in the room.
Jaejoong turned to look at the very distraught-looking Ryeowook, who was studying him closely. “You don’t have to turn them on…if you would rather not.”
“You look stronger,” Ryeowook pointed out, ignoring Jaejoong reply as he took in this calmer, more collected Jaejoong.
“My mental breakdown has been put on hold for the time being.”
“For the time being?” Ryeowook repeated, puzzled. “Yunho took the necklace off…shouldn’t you be happy?”
“I’m wonderfully happy,” Jaejoong said sarcastically, forcing a smile to appear on his face.
“I’m afraid I’m not going to believe that without mind tampering…why aren’t you happy? Is Yunho angry at you still?”
“Yes, since tampering with Yunho’s mind is so deeply frowned upon, he continues to be angry at me,” Jaejoong snorted and told Ryeowook.
“You do realize…it’s perfectly normal for him to be angry with you.”
“I really don’t care. He can be mad at me all he wants.”
Ryeowook stared at Jaejoong, truly confused. This Jaejoong didn’t even seem like the madly in love Jaejoong that he had grown accustomed to. “Did the necklace do something to you? Do you not love Yunho anymore? Did the necklace break your bond?”
“What?” Jaejoong asked, bewildered at the doctor’s question. “Of course I love him more than anything. As long as we are alive, our bond is intact. Just because I’m not some sappy, crying mess…you think I don’t love him? I’ve recently been told that you can be in love with somebody and still be angry at them.”
“Well…you just seem kinda cold towards him. The only other time I’ve seen you like this was when you thought you were shifting…” Ryeowook paused and his eyes widened. “Are you shifting?”
Jaejoong sighed loudly and folded his arms and telepathically ridded Ryeowook’s mind of such thoughts, and he reset Ryeowook’s mind back to the point when he had turned on the lights.
Ryeowook blinked, slightly unsettled, but unaware anything had happened. Ryeowook only paused for as second and asked Jaejoong. “You don’t mind the lights being on, do you?”
“No, I prefer the lights to be on,” Jaejoong told Ryeowook, as if the subject of shifting had never come up. “In my Joong form, my eyes adapted to the darkness, allowing me to see clearly. Changmin finds his Joong eyes intriguing. We spent most of the evening sitting in the dark, letting his eyes adapt to it, while he questioned me about all things under the sun.”
Ryeowook did not smile, but a flicker of amusement passed through him. “That sounds more like the Changmin we all know and love.”
“Yes, but sadly, human eyes do not adapt to the darkness,” Jaejoong pointed out.
“They adapt, but not like Joong eyes. We never see clearly in the dark.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing; perhaps one should not adapt to the darkness.”
Ryeowook frowned at Jaejoong, realizing his double meaning. “You take great pride in the fact that you never gave in to ZhouMi, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Jaejoong said, nodding his head. “Others would have given in.”
“Like Changmin?”
“No,” Jaejoong laughed bitterly. “Kyuhyun did this all to save Changmin, but if Changmin had arrived on ZhouMi’s ship, the power of his unleashed mind would have killed all of the crew, with the exception of ZhouMi…who would have been wearing one of those fucking necklaces.”
Ryeowook put down his book and glared at Jaejoong. “So, you think Kyuhyun’s sacrifice was in vain?”
“No,” Jaejoong quickly replied, feeling Ryeowook’s rage. “ZhouMi is incapable of flying his ship alone, and Changmin would not have been able to think clearly enough to help him…they would have died. Kyuhyun did save Changmin.”
Ryeowook’s anger calmed, but now tears ran down his face. “Sorry…it’s just that…the thought that it was all in vain. I can’t imagine that…that’s too terrible to contemplate.”
Jaejoong looked away from Ryeowook as the other man’s pain flooded him. “If he is dead…I can make it bearable for you.”
“What?”
Jaejoong still refused to look at Ryeowook as he clarified, “I can reinforce your acceptance and I can diminish the grief…you don’t always have to feel like this.”
Ryeowook reached across the bed grabbing Jaejoong’s arm, even startling the Joong and said desperately, “Never! Do you hear me, Jaejoong? Never! Don’t ever diminish my grief! He lost me once, and I judged his way of coping…I punished him. I robbed us of so much time. I will own my sadness….if he is gone. If he is gone…he deserves to be mourned. If I let you….if I forgot him, it would be worse…it would be worse than his sleeping with Sungmin. It would be a million times worse. Promise me! You will never make me forget…or make his loss easier for me to handle.”
Jaejoong pulled free of Ryeowook’s grasp and stood up. “Don’t hold me to promises - promises that you will only beg me to break.”
“No, I won’t ask you break this promise,” Ryeowook said firmly, shaking his head.
Jaejoong stared down at Ryeowook, torn between what he should say and what he knew to be true. “I won’t do it without your permission. You will have to ask me.”
“I won’t ask,” Ryeowook insisted, picking the old book back up, and holding it tightly to his chest.
“We will see,” Jaejoong told him, doubting the resolve of the broken-hearted man as he left the room.