Comments | aquarius_galuxy: Infiltration (Brigits Flame Dec Week 1 Comp)

aquarius_galuxy

Infiltration (Brigits Flame Dec Week 1 Comp)

Dec 05, 2009 11:40

Title: Infiltration
Author: Aquarius Galuxy
Fiction type: Prose, original fiction (Novel idea #2)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Suspense
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some gore and violence, maybe murder/death
Word count: 1,129
Summary: An assassin infiltrates an enemy's hideout to save her brother.
Author's Notes: Written for brigits_flame's December Week 1 contest, ( Read more... )

original fiction, writing

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Hello from one of your editors! fawatson December 12 2009, 09:36:11 UTC

Sorry I have taken so long, but I am one of your editors this week. The editing comments are ready. How do you want to receive them? I could post them here as a comment or I could email them to you if you would prefer to read them privately. Please let me know.

Re: Hello from one of your editors! aquarius_galuxy December 12 2009, 09:38:00 UTC

=o posting them here would be fine, I don't mind either option. =D Thank you!

Comments from one of your editors! fawatson December 12 2009, 11:21:39 UTC

I have started with general comments and then will give you a couple of specific comments.

GeneralYou expressed some doubt about the quality of your writing, because of the time it took you to write this piece. However, I do not think you need worry about it. The general quality of your writing is good. Speed is not an issue, really, and all writers hit blocks at some stage and learning how to write through them is a useful skill to develop. The plot and protagonist are both interesting and likeable; there was a logical progression to the ideas; the paragraphing is fine; there is a nice variety in sentence structure; the spelling, grammar and punctuation are generally OK. Well done ( ... )

Re: Comments from one of your editors! aquarius_galuxy December 12 2009, 12:01:04 UTC

Thanks for the edits ( ... )

Re: Comments from one of your editors! aquarius_galuxy December 12 2009, 12:05:50 UTC

Sorry, not the whistle - the hiding of the guard's body, as anyone can stumble upon it, which increases the risk of her being caught by a great deal.

Re: Comments from one of your editors! fawatson December 12 2009, 12:38:43 UTC

I agree with you about 'cue' - the cliche would detract so you were right to leave it out ( ... )

Re: Comments from one of your editors! aquarius_galuxy December 12 2009, 12:48:06 UTC

Thank you for the comments, and for your time! I haven't written enough to develop a style yet, but I'll definitely think about it. =D

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