not yet fixed
My therapist is going to take time off from work to take care of her sick father. She told me today. I will only have one more session with her before Christmas and then she's gone. She told me to think if I want to continue with someone else or if I even need to continue to talk to anyone. She seems to think that I am OK and that I have a strong and healthy relationship, which should be support enough for me. Ultimately it is my decision, but she did think that I might not need a therapist.
I feel so much better than I did in the spring when I first met her. The medication helped me over the worst. But the doctor who sent me to her in the first place spoke about at least two years of therapy with weekly appointments and I've only been seeing my therapist since spring every other week and not at all during the summer time. It seems to me like we have barely scratched the surface. I've just got to know her and now she'll be leaving. It is such a sad thing because I really like her and trust her and find it very easy to share my thoughts and feelings with her. I understand her decision and I don't feel like she is "abandoning" me. I'm just scared.
It took me so long to finally get help. I was declined an opportunity to see a psychologist every single time I tried to get an appointment through the puclic health care sector. Only after I went to a private clinic, they sent me to see a therapist. I don't find it easy to ask for help and I consider myself lucky now that I do have a place to go to talk about my problems. I may not be suicidal or danger to others, but I still think I deserve to have my appointment. It scares me that my therapist thinks that I'm fine. Obviously I do something wrong if she doesn't see how I hang in there only by a very thin thread. I'm better than before, but only just barely. I could so easily slip backwards. One setback that's a little bigger than usual or one school or work assignment that drains all my energy or just one nasty person more to deal with. Those could all be enough to take me back to where I was. I feel like the worst cloud above my head is gone, but the depression is still there, looming at the horizon, ready to strike. It's not banished for good. I feel like every single time before when I have picked myself up without a therapist. I can do it and go on with my life, but the gloomy feelings remain. They aren't in total control over my life, but they remain.
I have heard that there are people who don't feel gloomy at all or only very seldomly. I can even distantly remember a time when I didn't feel gloomy, so I'm thinking that I'm not fine yet.
I feel so much better than I did in the spring when I first met her. The medication helped me over the worst. But the doctor who sent me to her in the first place spoke about at least two years of therapy with weekly appointments and I've only been seeing my therapist since spring every other week and not at all during the summer time. It seems to me like we have barely scratched the surface. I've just got to know her and now she'll be leaving. It is such a sad thing because I really like her and trust her and find it very easy to share my thoughts and feelings with her. I understand her decision and I don't feel like she is "abandoning" me. I'm just scared.
It took me so long to finally get help. I was declined an opportunity to see a psychologist every single time I tried to get an appointment through the puclic health care sector. Only after I went to a private clinic, they sent me to see a therapist. I don't find it easy to ask for help and I consider myself lucky now that I do have a place to go to talk about my problems. I may not be suicidal or danger to others, but I still think I deserve to have my appointment. It scares me that my therapist thinks that I'm fine. Obviously I do something wrong if she doesn't see how I hang in there only by a very thin thread. I'm better than before, but only just barely. I could so easily slip backwards. One setback that's a little bigger than usual or one school or work assignment that drains all my energy or just one nasty person more to deal with. Those could all be enough to take me back to where I was. I feel like the worst cloud above my head is gone, but the depression is still there, looming at the horizon, ready to strike. It's not banished for good. I feel like every single time before when I have picked myself up without a therapist. I can do it and go on with my life, but the gloomy feelings remain. They aren't in total control over my life, but they remain.
I have heard that there are people who don't feel gloomy at all or only very seldomly. I can even distantly remember a time when I didn't feel gloomy, so I'm thinking that I'm not fine yet.