some people i know of
So I just finished one of the big scenes in the novel.
Only took me all day. Like, really, I'm not kidding. Started a bit before noon and just finished. I almost took a break for lunch but knew if I did, I wouldn't come back to it and by god, I was determined to get the whole thing done today. If only to spare myself the elongated anguish.
Funny how things are really never as difficult as you fear they might be. This time the mechanics and intricacies of the writing really did shield me from the pain I feared. And now, I'm a little dubious about whether the right note was hit with the end. Whether it could be done in a more powerful way. That's okay, I kinda had a sense as I was writing it that I was following only one option of many and if I came back and decided on a re-read that it wasn't good enough, I could always pick it up again and try another tack.
Is okay, is doable. The writer has Confidence in confidence in confidence in meeee! I got the important bits down absolutely right, even better than I imagined actually. Including one goddamned sex scene which was supposed to be a paragraph, you guys, not five freaking pages of yummy yumminess.
Well, I suppose they wanted some good sex before I slammed them with the angst. Fair enough, yo.
See how the writer dissociates? Ahahahahahaha. Necessary coping mechanism.
The curious thing is I was so fixated on the angst I had to manage that I dawdled and dawdled and worked myself up into a good ole fit of apprehension and downright crippling fear. And then realised, "Um, hold on, Sean doesn't know that. Sean's happy ... aren't you supposed to be writing this from the first person? Get happy, you idiot. Commune with your goddamned protagonist."
So I danced like an total dork to Tim's Peanut Man and we got to it. Liek, really. I outdid myself. As much as I love just doing the dorky dance thing often, this time I surprised even myself with the sheer silliness. Heaps fun. Also very Gene and Michael being with the happy beaming dancing. *indicates icon* Er, Kelly, not Tierney. Heh.
Interestingly too, the whole sequence of scenes almost shortcut itself. Certainly would be very effective if I had gone that way and I was quite tempted. Had to stop and think carefully about it for a few minutes. Because if I had gone down that way, we wouldn't have had the big reveal. It would have just been catharsis and heal, all handling of emotional intelligence, not actual facts. So yeah, it could have been pretty elegant and skilful if I had done it that way.
And I may still. If I decide this information is too melodramatic and too overwrought, I know exactly where to select and cut. You wouldn't even see the snip marks. *nods*
I'll see how I feel. Too close right now, too empty-headed with relief and pleasant tiredness.
It's amazing how the body paces itself. Apparently my body writes in four hour stints. At the four hour mark, it starts yawning and wanting to sleep. Liek seriously. Usually I give in and let it happen, figure there's no point pushing myself and risking the quality.
Occasionally though, I have to override it and use artificial stimulants to kickstart again. Today music and chocolate and water helped. Um. I have just realised I haven't eaten anything but chocolate and a chocolate croissant all day. Hmm. No worries, I'll make some miso soup after I post.
What else? Oh, nuffing really. Just very quietly pleased that all the planning and the delayed info reveals have really really paid off.
I just hope it's not too melodramatic. I hope it's been earned. I hope it satisfies. I hope I shut up worrying now.
Also, I can't help that one bit is uncomfortably similar to Rupert Thomson's This Party's Got To Stop. Damnit, the logic was there. That was what had to be done. Admittedly different people, slightly different reactions, different setting. But it makes me uncomfortable until I realise "Well, I can't bloody well help that some things are universal to the human condition, can I?!" and that the UK and Australia do share a certain similarity of charity institutions. At least I deliberately chose another one.
Still, I wish I could have managed it some other way. If one comes to me, I so will change it. Until then, I'll just have to hope nobody accuses me of plagiarism because it isn't and I didn't intend to and goddamnit, I love Rupert Thomson, I would never steal from him!
God, I wish I had written the scene before I read the damned book. Only how was I to bloody know, right?!
Oof. *frets*
Oh, and I cut something from the very first scene in the novel. Cos well, I kinda thought it would reappear and develop a lot more through the course of events but it hasn't and so I figure it may as well go. Wasn't anything important, just cute-ish between Sean and his godson. Just noting it here so I know exactly when I took it out.
Ah, jesus. I just remembered how it does tie in towards the end. But that's the only other occurrence. Hmm. Think about it when that time comes. Might be just as easily cut. Orrrr ... or I could ... ha! Note to self: put thingie back in and have Sean realise why it didn't pan out when thingie thingie happens. Right o. What? I know what I'm talking about.
Okay, enough. Must eat, watch movie, unwind, put brain into relax mode and go sleep early cos I've only really had five hours of sleep and I'm working tomorrow. Ah, timesheet.
Wordcount: 218,157
Pages: 680.
Well, at least I've gotten to the point where I don't actually need to have Active Child playing in order to hear the songs. Rather convenient, that.
eta: Just re-read it. Oh, it's good. It's very good. It's exactly right. Fuck me, I did it. *staggers off, somewhat shellshocked*
Only took me all day. Like, really, I'm not kidding. Started a bit before noon and just finished. I almost took a break for lunch but knew if I did, I wouldn't come back to it and by god, I was determined to get the whole thing done today. If only to spare myself the elongated anguish.
Funny how things are really never as difficult as you fear they might be. This time the mechanics and intricacies of the writing really did shield me from the pain I feared. And now, I'm a little dubious about whether the right note was hit with the end. Whether it could be done in a more powerful way. That's okay, I kinda had a sense as I was writing it that I was following only one option of many and if I came back and decided on a re-read that it wasn't good enough, I could always pick it up again and try another tack.
Is okay, is doable. The writer has Confidence in confidence in confidence in meeee! I got the important bits down absolutely right, even better than I imagined actually. Including one goddamned sex scene which was supposed to be a paragraph, you guys, not five freaking pages of yummy yumminess.
Well, I suppose they wanted some good sex before I slammed them with the angst. Fair enough, yo.
See how the writer dissociates? Ahahahahahaha. Necessary coping mechanism.
The curious thing is I was so fixated on the angst I had to manage that I dawdled and dawdled and worked myself up into a good ole fit of apprehension and downright crippling fear. And then realised, "Um, hold on, Sean doesn't know that. Sean's happy ... aren't you supposed to be writing this from the first person? Get happy, you idiot. Commune with your goddamned protagonist."
So I danced like an total dork to Tim's Peanut Man and we got to it. Liek, really. I outdid myself. As much as I love just doing the dorky dance thing often, this time I surprised even myself with the sheer silliness. Heaps fun. Also very Gene and Michael being with the happy beaming dancing. *indicates icon* Er, Kelly, not Tierney. Heh.
Interestingly too, the whole sequence of scenes almost shortcut itself. Certainly would be very effective if I had gone that way and I was quite tempted. Had to stop and think carefully about it for a few minutes. Because if I had gone down that way, we wouldn't have had the big reveal. It would have just been catharsis and heal, all handling of emotional intelligence, not actual facts. So yeah, it could have been pretty elegant and skilful if I had done it that way.
And I may still. If I decide this information is too melodramatic and too overwrought, I know exactly where to select and cut. You wouldn't even see the snip marks. *nods*
I'll see how I feel. Too close right now, too empty-headed with relief and pleasant tiredness.
It's amazing how the body paces itself. Apparently my body writes in four hour stints. At the four hour mark, it starts yawning and wanting to sleep. Liek seriously. Usually I give in and let it happen, figure there's no point pushing myself and risking the quality.
Occasionally though, I have to override it and use artificial stimulants to kickstart again. Today music and chocolate and water helped. Um. I have just realised I haven't eaten anything but chocolate and a chocolate croissant all day. Hmm. No worries, I'll make some miso soup after I post.
What else? Oh, nuffing really. Just very quietly pleased that all the planning and the delayed info reveals have really really paid off.
I just hope it's not too melodramatic. I hope it's been earned. I hope it satisfies. I hope I shut up worrying now.
Also, I can't help that one bit is uncomfortably similar to Rupert Thomson's This Party's Got To Stop. Damnit, the logic was there. That was what had to be done. Admittedly different people, slightly different reactions, different setting. But it makes me uncomfortable until I realise "Well, I can't bloody well help that some things are universal to the human condition, can I?!" and that the UK and Australia do share a certain similarity of charity institutions. At least I deliberately chose another one.
Still, I wish I could have managed it some other way. If one comes to me, I so will change it. Until then, I'll just have to hope nobody accuses me of plagiarism because it isn't and I didn't intend to and goddamnit, I love Rupert Thomson, I would never steal from him!
God, I wish I had written the scene before I read the damned book. Only how was I to bloody know, right?!
Oof. *frets*
Oh, and I cut something from the very first scene in the novel. Cos well, I kinda thought it would reappear and develop a lot more through the course of events but it hasn't and so I figure it may as well go. Wasn't anything important, just cute-ish between Sean and his godson. Just noting it here so I know exactly when I took it out.
Ah, jesus. I just remembered how it does tie in towards the end. But that's the only other occurrence. Hmm. Think about it when that time comes. Might be just as easily cut. Orrrr ... or I could ... ha! Note to self: put thingie back in and have Sean realise why it didn't pan out when thingie thingie happens. Right o. What? I know what I'm talking about.
Okay, enough. Must eat, watch movie, unwind, put brain into relax mode and go sleep early cos I've only really had five hours of sleep and I'm working tomorrow. Ah, timesheet.
Wordcount: 218,157
Pages: 680.
Well, at least I've gotten to the point where I don't actually need to have Active Child playing in order to hear the songs. Rather convenient, that.
eta: Just re-read it. Oh, it's good. It's very good. It's exactly right. Fuck me, I did it. *staggers off, somewhat shellshocked*