what you're trying to tell me
Copied from my blogspot from a couple of weeks ago.
Huh.
Just finished Sugar And Spice by Jules Stanbridge, my second of the Little Black Dress books. Started out quite promisingly, loved the English setting, loved the premise of a woman discovering her independence by following her dream of making cakes. The first paragraph hooked me --- and yes, I read it before I bought it, just to make sure the style wouldn't throw me into fits of violence --- especially because it ends on such a shock and immediately got me feeling such sympathy for our protagonist. Clever, that. And I could resent the manipulation but it worked so well I totally didn't feel it.
Loved the recipes placed so cleverly within the narrative, and completely adored the hilarious incisive highly sarcastic fantasies of fame that were so frequent in the beginning and then beautifully tapered off towards the resolution. Pop culture references for the win! Especially cos I'm contemplating doing a similar thing in the Not-The-Next-Novel-The-One-After-That and it was totally awesome to see it used so well.
Oddly though, I found my sympathy for the protagonist severely tested by her hyper-sensitivity, chronic wussiness, and a tendency to burst into tears or cover her face when she blushes. (Jesus Christ, what grown woman in this day and age covers her face when she blushes? Once involuntarily I can understand, done it myself, but repeatedly? Yeeeuuurrrkkk. Far too antiquated, that.) Her self-pity and timidity just went on for too long and I started to get impatient. Mind you, when she did kick into assertion, it was very satisfying indeed. Just possibly a little overdue and she was a tad stupid for my liking. But then I kept reminding myself I am the diametric opposite of her, personality-wise. *nods*
What really shocked me though was the suspiciously sloppy editing. There was a slight tendency towards telling instead of showing, several moments of blatantly obvious emotional exposition that made me wince with the thought of "oof, shouldn't that have been actual plot?"
And most horribly, what the hell was up with the commas?! Every now and then, there'd be a sentence I'd have to read three times before realising it was in desperate need of a comma right there. *bashes book against own face* Happened waaaaaaaaaaaayyy too often and was waaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too bewildering.
What the hell was the editor doing?! Comma placement and show-not-tell are the two most important things in writing group. And I realise the first may be a subjective thing but jesus christ, when it completely annihilates the sense of the sentence, what the hell are you doing?! Did nobody else read the novel before it was published?! Or is this the Little Black Dress standard of rushing releases? Certainly I had neither of these problems with Janet Mullany's Rules Of Gentility but then she's quite obviously a very skilled writer.
I was quite startled by the end. The chapter itself was sweet enough but the resolution around the cake had been set up so beautifully from the very start that I was really keen to see it played out with some flair and beauty. For that whole moment to be reduced to one sentence and even that without the actual cake has made me feel a little cheated.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend the book unless your standards are very lax and you're of a particular personality type, but I would certainly read Jules Stanbridge again. She could evolve quite marvellously from this point. Definitely a name to keep an eye out for.
Huh.
Just finished Sugar And Spice by Jules Stanbridge, my second of the Little Black Dress books. Started out quite promisingly, loved the English setting, loved the premise of a woman discovering her independence by following her dream of making cakes. The first paragraph hooked me --- and yes, I read it before I bought it, just to make sure the style wouldn't throw me into fits of violence --- especially because it ends on such a shock and immediately got me feeling such sympathy for our protagonist. Clever, that. And I could resent the manipulation but it worked so well I totally didn't feel it.
Loved the recipes placed so cleverly within the narrative, and completely adored the hilarious incisive highly sarcastic fantasies of fame that were so frequent in the beginning and then beautifully tapered off towards the resolution. Pop culture references for the win! Especially cos I'm contemplating doing a similar thing in the Not-The-Next-Novel-The-One-After-That and it was totally awesome to see it used so well.
Oddly though, I found my sympathy for the protagonist severely tested by her hyper-sensitivity, chronic wussiness, and a tendency to burst into tears or cover her face when she blushes. (Jesus Christ, what grown woman in this day and age covers her face when she blushes? Once involuntarily I can understand, done it myself, but repeatedly? Yeeeuuurrrkkk. Far too antiquated, that.) Her self-pity and timidity just went on for too long and I started to get impatient. Mind you, when she did kick into assertion, it was very satisfying indeed. Just possibly a little overdue and she was a tad stupid for my liking. But then I kept reminding myself I am the diametric opposite of her, personality-wise. *nods*
What really shocked me though was the suspiciously sloppy editing. There was a slight tendency towards telling instead of showing, several moments of blatantly obvious emotional exposition that made me wince with the thought of "oof, shouldn't that have been actual plot?"
And most horribly, what the hell was up with the commas?! Every now and then, there'd be a sentence I'd have to read three times before realising it was in desperate need of a comma right there. *bashes book against own face* Happened waaaaaaaaaaaayyy too often and was waaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too bewildering.
What the hell was the editor doing?! Comma placement and show-not-tell are the two most important things in writing group. And I realise the first may be a subjective thing but jesus christ, when it completely annihilates the sense of the sentence, what the hell are you doing?! Did nobody else read the novel before it was published?! Or is this the Little Black Dress standard of rushing releases? Certainly I had neither of these problems with Janet Mullany's Rules Of Gentility but then she's quite obviously a very skilled writer.
I was quite startled by the end. The chapter itself was sweet enough but the resolution around the cake had been set up so beautifully from the very start that I was really keen to see it played out with some flair and beauty. For that whole moment to be reduced to one sentence and even that without the actual cake has made me feel a little cheated.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend the book unless your standards are very lax and you're of a particular personality type, but I would certainly read Jules Stanbridge again. She could evolve quite marvellously from this point. Definitely a name to keep an eye out for.