boring day
today, well, hasnt really happened yet. its just morning, but i drove my dad to the mall and back for some odd reason. hey i didnt know that u had to be grammatically correct on this site. if thats true, im fucked. i dont want school to happen. school is hell for me, i cant learn, i dont see what the point is. in the past two years ive had two different counselors, and one of them suggested that i drop out. bitch. the only reason i stay in school is so that i can show everyone that im well enough to do so.
you know what else? my friends suck ass. i cant believe sometimes that i actually consider them friends. they never call, and talking to them is so limited because we dont have n e thing in common. its wicked depressing cuz none of my friends have called me over the summer. great friends. see, to me, if u call it shows me that u care enough to talk to me and see how im doing. pish...but who cares.
im starting to think that i might not want to go to college. i mean if u want to be a middle school music teacher, do u really need a diploma? actually, i think u do. shit. its weird cuz all my life ive wanted to go to college so bad. and then i was told that maybe im not capable of doing it. its kinda like that yellowcard song "you dont know when what you love is ripped away, you never get the chance to feel it." damn, for all i know that could be quoted wrong.
ive been so depressed lately, i dont really know whats getting me down. maybe im just in the depression stage of...well you know. this sucks. sometimes im just like..WHY ME?! cuz of my stupid ass father thats why, its all his fault. ah, that felt good.
ya know i was looking at my previous entries and i keep saying bad stuff about ben. and i feel really bad about that. really really bad. but sometimes i get angry and just lash out at the nearest or dearest person. well, i think thats all. sorry if i make no sense, but im good at that.
you know what else? my friends suck ass. i cant believe sometimes that i actually consider them friends. they never call, and talking to them is so limited because we dont have n e thing in common. its wicked depressing cuz none of my friends have called me over the summer. great friends. see, to me, if u call it shows me that u care enough to talk to me and see how im doing. pish...but who cares.
im starting to think that i might not want to go to college. i mean if u want to be a middle school music teacher, do u really need a diploma? actually, i think u do. shit. its weird cuz all my life ive wanted to go to college so bad. and then i was told that maybe im not capable of doing it. its kinda like that yellowcard song "you dont know when what you love is ripped away, you never get the chance to feel it." damn, for all i know that could be quoted wrong.
ive been so depressed lately, i dont really know whats getting me down. maybe im just in the depression stage of...well you know. this sucks. sometimes im just like..WHY ME?! cuz of my stupid ass father thats why, its all his fault. ah, that felt good.
ya know i was looking at my previous entries and i keep saying bad stuff about ben. and i feel really bad about that. really really bad. but sometimes i get angry and just lash out at the nearest or dearest person. well, i think thats all. sorry if i make no sense, but im good at that.