A Place Called Home - A Wanderer Fanmix
Medium: Book
Fandom: The Host by Stephanie Meyer
Subject: Wanderer
Title: A Place Called Home
Warnings: Some spoilers for the book in the quotes.
Notes: This is a mix about Wanderer's emotional journey, and so it involves her canonical relationships with the people around her. You'll notice that a good number of these are cover songs - they're credited to the performer, not original composer(s), but they're fairly well-known songs.
A Place Called Home
A Wanderer Fanmix
>> download ( sendspace, 14 tracks, 77.7 mb ) <<
o1. nothing without you // vienna teng
all my books are lying useless now
all my maps will only show me how to lose my way
I am nothing without you
but I don't know who you are
And yet I knew what I wanted, more powerfully and vividly than anything I had ever wanted in all the eight lives I'd lived. The image of Jared's face danced behind my eyelids when I blinked against the sun-not Melanie's memory this time, but my memory of hers.
I could not separate myself from this body's wants. It was me, more than I'd ever intended it to be. Did I want or did it want? Did that distinction even matter now?
o2. hidden // craig armstrong
[ instrumental ]
The floor was dim compared to the brilliant ceiling so far above. It took a moment for my eyes to make sense of all the shapes.
A crowd. There was no other word for it-there was a crowd of humans standing stock-still and silent, all staring at me with the same burning, hate-filled expressions I'd seen at dawn.
Melanie was too stunned to do anything more than count. Ten, fifteen, twenty… twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…
o3. the well // a fine frenzy
drowning in your kisses in the well
I looked to you for saving
but you're saving someone else
"You know that was for you, Mel. You know that. Not for h-it. You know I wasn't kissing it."
o4. how to disappear completely // eliza lumley
in a little while I'll be gone
the moment's already passed
yeah it's gone
and I'm not here, this isn't happening
I'm not here
I peeked through my fingers to see both of their faces leaning through the hole toward me. Ian's was black, but part of Jared's was lit, his features hard as stone.
I wanted to be still, invisible, but tremors I couldn't control were shaking violently down my spine.
o5. spiders // editors
with your back to the wall
you've got one place to fall
sometimes it's all better (on your own?)
Every time I had to carry out one of these simple directives, I was in a sweaty haze of fear. I concentrated on being invisible and walked as quickly as I could without running through the big rooms and the dark corridors. I tended to hug the walls and keep my eyes down.
o6. underneath the night // rie sinclair
how long will you stay
and how long will i keep searching for a reason?
do you know i miss you already?
It was absolutely silent in the starlit night. Even the wind was calm. I whispered, but I knew my voice carried to everyone.
"There was no hatred in your heart," I whispered. "That you existed is proof that we were wrong. We had no right to take your world from you, Walter."
o7. my body is a cage // sara lov
my body is a cage
that keeps me from dancing
with the one I love
but my mind holds the key
"No, Ian!" I took his face between my hands-his skin felt hard, strained tight over the bones. "No. I-I love you, too. Me, the little silver worm in the back of her head. But my body doesn't love you. It can't love you. I can never love you in this body, Ian. It pulls me in two. It's unbearable."
o8. what i've done // marie digby
what i've done
i'll face myself
to cross out
what i've become
erase myself
A little more time… would that be so wrong?
No, Mel whispered. Just take a little more time.
You never know how much time you'll have, I whispered back.
But I did. I knew exactly how much time I had. I couldn't take any more time. My time was up. I was going anyway. I had to do the right thing, be my true self, with what time I had left.
o9. run // leona lewis
louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives
i can hardly speak i understand
why you can't raise your voice to say -
"Yes, but… I guess I didn't really think we were going to make it out."
"You didn't? Then why… ? Why did you let me try?"
Jared answered in a soft almost-whisper. "I figured it was better to die trying than to live without the kid."
1o. colorblind // darling daughter
i am colorblind
coffee black and egg white
pull me out from inside
i am folded and unfolding i am folded i am
Doc's hand pressed the cloth gently over my face. I breathed in deeply, ignoring the thick, uncomfortable scent. As I took another breath, I saw the three stars again. They were not calling to me; they were letting me go, leaving me to the black universe I had wandered for so many lifetimes. I drifted into the black, and it got brighter and brighter. It wasn't black at all-it was blue. Warm, vibrant, brilliant blue… I floated into it with no fear at all.
11. parting words // michael giacchino
[ instrumental ]
It was just so short! Maybe a year now, I wasn't completely sure. Just one quick revolution of a blue green planet around an unexceptional yellow star. The shortest life of any I'd ever lived.
The shortest, the most important, the most heartbreaking of lives. The life that would forever define me. The life that had finally tied me to one star, to one planet, to one small family of strangers.
12. the call // regina spektor
it started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then grew into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word
and then that word grew louder and louder
until it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
no need to say goodbye
The beginning would feel like the end. I'd been warned.
But this time the end was a greater surprise than it had ever been. Greater than any end I'd
remembered in nine lives. Greater than jumping down an elevator shaft. I had expected no more
memories, no more thoughts. What end was this?
13. without you here // goo goo dolls
and i'm trying to believe in things that i don't know
the turning of the world, the color of your soul
that love could kill the pain, truth is never vain
it turns strangers into lovers and enemies to brothers
just say you understand, i never had this planned
Happy and sad, elated and miserable, secure and afraid, loved and denied, patient and angry, peaceful and wild, complete and empty… all of it. I would feel everything. It would all be mine.
14. a place called home // kim richey
someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow
til then, I'll travel alone
and I'll make my bed with the stars above my head
and dream of a place called home
I think… Well, I think that maybe… you're dying to be human. There was almost a smile in Mel's thought as she heard the silly double meaning in the phrase. After all the planets and all the hosts you've left behind, you've finally found the place and the body you'd die for. I think you've found your home, Wanderer.
>> download ( sendspace, 14 tracks, 77.7 mb ) <<
Fandom: The Host by Stephanie Meyer
Subject: Wanderer
Title: A Place Called Home
Warnings: Some spoilers for the book in the quotes.
Notes: This is a mix about Wanderer's emotional journey, and so it involves her canonical relationships with the people around her. You'll notice that a good number of these are cover songs - they're credited to the performer, not original composer(s), but they're fairly well-known songs.
A Place Called Home
A Wanderer Fanmix
>> download ( sendspace, 14 tracks, 77.7 mb ) <<
o1. nothing without you // vienna teng
all my books are lying useless now
all my maps will only show me how to lose my way
I am nothing without you
but I don't know who you are
And yet I knew what I wanted, more powerfully and vividly than anything I had ever wanted in all the eight lives I'd lived. The image of Jared's face danced behind my eyelids when I blinked against the sun-not Melanie's memory this time, but my memory of hers.
I could not separate myself from this body's wants. It was me, more than I'd ever intended it to be. Did I want or did it want? Did that distinction even matter now?
o2. hidden // craig armstrong
[ instrumental ]
The floor was dim compared to the brilliant ceiling so far above. It took a moment for my eyes to make sense of all the shapes.
A crowd. There was no other word for it-there was a crowd of humans standing stock-still and silent, all staring at me with the same burning, hate-filled expressions I'd seen at dawn.
Melanie was too stunned to do anything more than count. Ten, fifteen, twenty… twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…
o3. the well // a fine frenzy
drowning in your kisses in the well
I looked to you for saving
but you're saving someone else
"You know that was for you, Mel. You know that. Not for h-it. You know I wasn't kissing it."
o4. how to disappear completely // eliza lumley
in a little while I'll be gone
the moment's already passed
yeah it's gone
and I'm not here, this isn't happening
I'm not here
I peeked through my fingers to see both of their faces leaning through the hole toward me. Ian's was black, but part of Jared's was lit, his features hard as stone.
I wanted to be still, invisible, but tremors I couldn't control were shaking violently down my spine.
o5. spiders // editors
with your back to the wall
you've got one place to fall
sometimes it's all better (on your own?)
Every time I had to carry out one of these simple directives, I was in a sweaty haze of fear. I concentrated on being invisible and walked as quickly as I could without running through the big rooms and the dark corridors. I tended to hug the walls and keep my eyes down.
o6. underneath the night // rie sinclair
how long will you stay
and how long will i keep searching for a reason?
do you know i miss you already?
It was absolutely silent in the starlit night. Even the wind was calm. I whispered, but I knew my voice carried to everyone.
"There was no hatred in your heart," I whispered. "That you existed is proof that we were wrong. We had no right to take your world from you, Walter."
o7. my body is a cage // sara lov
my body is a cage
that keeps me from dancing
with the one I love
but my mind holds the key
"No, Ian!" I took his face between my hands-his skin felt hard, strained tight over the bones. "No. I-I love you, too. Me, the little silver worm in the back of her head. But my body doesn't love you. It can't love you. I can never love you in this body, Ian. It pulls me in two. It's unbearable."
o8. what i've done // marie digby
what i've done
i'll face myself
to cross out
what i've become
erase myself
A little more time… would that be so wrong?
No, Mel whispered. Just take a little more time.
You never know how much time you'll have, I whispered back.
But I did. I knew exactly how much time I had. I couldn't take any more time. My time was up. I was going anyway. I had to do the right thing, be my true self, with what time I had left.
o9. run // leona lewis
louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives
i can hardly speak i understand
why you can't raise your voice to say -
"Yes, but… I guess I didn't really think we were going to make it out."
"You didn't? Then why… ? Why did you let me try?"
Jared answered in a soft almost-whisper. "I figured it was better to die trying than to live without the kid."
1o. colorblind // darling daughter
i am colorblind
coffee black and egg white
pull me out from inside
i am folded and unfolding i am folded i am
Doc's hand pressed the cloth gently over my face. I breathed in deeply, ignoring the thick, uncomfortable scent. As I took another breath, I saw the three stars again. They were not calling to me; they were letting me go, leaving me to the black universe I had wandered for so many lifetimes. I drifted into the black, and it got brighter and brighter. It wasn't black at all-it was blue. Warm, vibrant, brilliant blue… I floated into it with no fear at all.
11. parting words // michael giacchino
[ instrumental ]
It was just so short! Maybe a year now, I wasn't completely sure. Just one quick revolution of a blue green planet around an unexceptional yellow star. The shortest life of any I'd ever lived.
The shortest, the most important, the most heartbreaking of lives. The life that would forever define me. The life that had finally tied me to one star, to one planet, to one small family of strangers.
12. the call // regina spektor
it started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then grew into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word
and then that word grew louder and louder
until it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
no need to say goodbye
The beginning would feel like the end. I'd been warned.
But this time the end was a greater surprise than it had ever been. Greater than any end I'd
remembered in nine lives. Greater than jumping down an elevator shaft. I had expected no more
memories, no more thoughts. What end was this?
13. without you here // goo goo dolls
and i'm trying to believe in things that i don't know
the turning of the world, the color of your soul
that love could kill the pain, truth is never vain
it turns strangers into lovers and enemies to brothers
just say you understand, i never had this planned
Happy and sad, elated and miserable, secure and afraid, loved and denied, patient and angry, peaceful and wild, complete and empty… all of it. I would feel everything. It would all be mine.
14. a place called home // kim richey
someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow
til then, I'll travel alone
and I'll make my bed with the stars above my head
and dream of a place called home
I think… Well, I think that maybe… you're dying to be human. There was almost a smile in Mel's thought as she heard the silly double meaning in the phrase. After all the planets and all the hosts you've left behind, you've finally found the place and the body you'd die for. I think you've found your home, Wanderer.
>> download ( sendspace, 14 tracks, 77.7 mb ) <<