Genderswap - Part Two
Title: Genderswap - Part Two (Prompt #1)
Author: Mari (aquaangel)
Character/Pairing: Ronon Dex, possible pre-slash pairing (Ronon Dex/Rodney McKay), background Kate/Teyla
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Notes: There are certain quotes used from the movie Airplanes, as well from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and ANGEL within the story. That and this fic took a life of it's own, it was meant to be 4 pages max - not 28, lol. Hope everyone enjoys it!
Word Count: 11,398
Summary: Always be careful of what you touch or hold for that matter; never know what the consequences might be.
Beta by: almightychrissy, hermioneorourke, and kittywitch
Table: wtf27 Table
Previous Part: Part One
Genderswap - Part Two
“Colonel, I believe it would be wise if you spoke to Ronon.”
“And say what Teyla?” John gave her an odd look, “Oh hey Shirley what’s new? Oh by the way, try not to kill McKay next time you see him, kay? I just waxed the floor, wouldn’t want blood to get on it now.” He scoffed, “Yeah that would come off nicely. He’s gonna kill McKay anyway, I don’t need him to come after me now.”
Teyla stared at him, confused at John’s choice of words. “Wax the floor?” She tilted her head to the side, “Another one of your Earth expressions?”
John shook his head as he rolled his eyes, “Oh yea, there’s plenty more where that one came from.” He bit his lip in thought, “Why don’t you speak to Shirley?”
“Shirley? Did Ronon request a change in his birth name?”
John snorted, “Did he ever… I figured; new look needs a new name. Besides I don’t think Ronon feels right for a girl, ya know?” He winked at Teyla.
Quirking an eyebrow, she shrugged her shoulders. “If you believe it is beneficial for Ronon to have a new name…”
John smirked slightly, “Oh yeah.”
“Will you not talk to…Shirley then?”
John bit his lips hard, trying to not go against his will power and bust out laughing. God he loved that name now. “I thought we went through this Teyla, do you think she would listen to me? She would most likely punch my lights out before talking to me in her current state.” He shuddered, “Why don’t you have you know, one of those talks with Shirley?”
Narrowing her eyes in confusion, “I do not comprehend, my friend.”
“You know… those talks.” In response Teyla gave him a level look. “Fine, those girly talks, maybe you can make him see reason.”
Teyla just shook her head with an amused smile.
------------------------------------------------------
Teyla pressed her hand on the chimes outside of Ronon’s quarters. She waited patiently for the door to slide open and found Ronon staring at her as she stood in the door way.
Ronon bowed his head in greeting, “Teyla.”
She did the same in return and was going to greet by calling him by his own name, but she remember the Colonel’s words. “Shirley.”
Ronon’s eyes widen. “Of all the… you too?” Teyla, confused, tilted her head to the side, “Did I cause you any burden?”
Ronon sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, “Never mind.” He moved to the side to allow Teyla to enter. “Just promise me something?” Teyla nodded once she was in the room.
“Don’t call me Shirley. I don’t want to be upset with you of all people.”
Confused again, Teyla nodded in consent, “I will honor your request, my friend. But I must confess - I am rather confused by it. Did you not request a change of your birth name?”
Ronon raised an eyebrow, “What?”
“Did you not request that from the Colonel?”
Ronon’s eyes darkened as he frowned. “Ah Sheppard; so this is his fault.” He shook his head, “No Teyla. The Colonel must have been mistaken. I will clear it up for him later, don’t worry.” He gave her a dangerous smile.
Teyla smiled at her close friend, not knowing of the burden she innocently placed on John. “I believe that to be wise. The Colonel should be made known of the error before it spreads any more.
Ronon smiled and patted Teyla’s shoulder reassuringly, “No worries.” He sighed, “So you visited.”
Teyla nodded, “I am concerned for you.”
Ronon blinked, “Why?”
Teyla sighed and walked closer to Ronon, “Concerned for you, my friend, and Doctor McKay.” At hearing Rodney’s name Ronon scoffed and moved away. “Oh so you’re bringing him into this now aren’t you.”
“Ronon, must you behave in such a way?”
Ronon sighed; he wasn’t going to get angry. This was Teyla, his friend, his little sister even. “Do you not understand, I don’t like the guy Teyla?” He moved to face her, “Look what he did to me! Does this look like I’m going to be buddy buddy with him? No.”
Teyla gave him a level look as she crossed her arms across her chest. “You will not hurt Doctor McKay, Ronon. Are we clear?”
Ronon snorted, “And why not? After what he did….” Teyla cut him off, “He made a mistake. I consent to that, but he regrets the choices he has chosen. He is our friend Ronon, you cannot forget that.”
“Oh I can’t now? Have you not noticed what has happened Teyla, he and I aren’t on good terms.”
Teyla narrowed her eyes, “Oh light! If you continue to follow this useless notion, you give me no other option my friend. If I must hurt you to protect Doctor McKay, I will.” Ronon’s eyes widen at Teyla revelation, “What? You would go against me…because of him?”
“Ronon, do you not see? Anger clouds your thoughts, do not let foolish ideas cloud what in front of you?”
“And that is what Teyla?”
“Friendship, family and loyalty.”
Ronon stood quiet; Teyla continued. “Doctor McKay was one of the few that befriended us when we first arrived here in Atlantis, not many trusted us, wanted to be near us. I consent to your point that what he has done was not correct. Though I will not allow something small to destroy what we all have together….” She turned to stare at him straight in the eye, “What is between you two…”
Ronon blinked confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I have noticed Ronon.” Ronon kept quiet, she continued her speech. “Do not burden yourself to hide it from me my friend. I understand and approve of your feelings towards him.”
“What?” Ronon shook his head quickly. “No, no no.” He continued to shake his head, “That’s not true.” Teyla smiled softly, “Denying something precious should not happen, Ronon.”
“I’m not denying anything!”
“It is alright my friend, I repeat - I understand and approve.” Ronon wanted to scream out in frustration, “I don’t….okay so I feel sorry for him a bit, or concerned, or….maybe want to comfort him when he’s down…” He started to pace in his room, “That doesn’t mean….No. You hear me Teyla? No!”
Teyla gave him a gentle smile, “Ronon. Do not oppose your true feelings, search deep within. You know I speak the truth.”
“But -” Ronon closed his eyes, “I can’t. I’m supposed to hate him.” He slams a fist down on to a near by table. “You hear me I’m supposed to hate him… not this.” Teyla shook her head as she walked closer to her friend once more, laying a gentle hand on his arm.
“Never hate; love.”
------------------------------------------------------
“McKay, what are you doing?”
Rodney glanced up to stare at Sheppard from where he sat on the floor in his lab in a corner. “What does it look like I’m doing? Building a sand castle? I’m trying to sit here and pretend to be a rock and fade away to nothingness. Okay? So leave me alone!”
A person kneeled, laying a gentle hand on Rodney’s forehead. “Are ye alright Rodney?”
Rodney glared at both John and Carson, “Can’t you leave a guy in peace?” He glanced back to the floor around him, “Go away!”
John rolled his eyes, “Ya know McKay, if you weren’t already in a corner to begin with. I’d send you to one for such language. “Go away?” He shook his head, “Tsk, tsk, bad Rodney.” Carson rolled his eyes at the two, before focusing on Rodney only, “Something a matter lad?”
Rodney sighed, knowing full well they wouldn’t leave him alone. “When isn’t there?”
John sighed and flopped to the ground below to sit in a cross legged position. He moved his arms to push Carson to the side making the other man flop down as well. Carson glared at him in return, making John smile sheepishly. “Ooops. Should have warned you before doing that, huh?” He decided to change the topic before Carson decided to cause bodily harm to him. Turning to face Rodney, he started to speak, “So come on McKay, what’s a matter?”
“Can’t you just go away?”
John smiled at him, scooting over towards him, wrapping an arm over Rodney’s shoulder. “Don’t feel bad; tell Uncle John here all your problems.”
Rodney snorted before turning to Carson, “Can’t you send him to a mental institution? It’ll save me the trouble of having to murder him.” Carson chuckled as he shook his head. “The joys that would bring lad, alas we have to keep him here a little while longer.”
John frowned, “I’m right here, you know.”
Rodney turned to him, “We don’t care, you know.”
They all had a good chuckle before Carson gave Rodney a concerned look. “Now Rodney, what’s a matter? Why so down?” John nodded, “Yeah McKay. Look I can be a real air head sometimes, but it doesn’t mean I don’t notice things. What’s going on?” Carson gave John a look.
John blinked, “What? I’m only saying I want to help if I can.” Carson shook his head before turning back to Rodney, “We both would.”
Rodney groaned. “It’s about Ronon.”
Carson nodded in understanding, John blinked. “Shirley?” Carson decided it was best to ignore the Colonel for the time being. “What about Ronon, lad?”
Rodney sighed, “I…I don’t know. That’s the thing I don’t know.” He looked up into Carson’s concerned eyes, “I had a nightmare last night.” He shuddered at the memory and glanced at Sheppard. “You had a cameo in it, but it was rather...” He thought for a moment. “Disturbing.”
Carson patted Rodney’s knee, “Would you like me to schedule an appointment with Kate for you?” Rodney blinked and shook his head, “No. Are you nuts?
“Cameo? I wasn’t a porn star was I?”
Both Rodney and Carson stopped to look at him. John smiled innocently, “What?”
Carson shook his head, “Are ye sure lad, ye not just jumping to conclusion with yer fear of Ronon?” Rodney blinked, “I don’t know.” He sighed as he glanced at the floor, “I saw him earlier.”
Carson looked concerned, “He didn’t hurt you did he?”
John quickly glanced at Rodney, scanning him with his eyes for any sight of injury. “He didn’t did he? Scary or not, I won’t let him harm you if it came to that, you know that, don’t you, McKay?” Rodney shook his head, “No. No, I thought he was, but no.”
Confused, Carson raised an eyebrow, “So lad what’s the problem?”
“Can an attraction come out of fear?”
Carson and John glanced at each other before both turning to look at McKay. “What are you talking about, McKay?” Rodney turned to glance away, “Nothing, never mind.”
“McKay.” No response was given, “McKay.”
“What?”
“Are you gay?”
Rodney glared at John as Carson shook his head in disbelief. “What does that have to do with anything?”
John shrugged, “Hey it’s cool with me, no need to worry.” Rodney mouth hung open as he stared at him. “We’re still friends, McKay; gay or no, geek or no - friends.” John patted Rodney’s shoulder as he spoke. Carson, once out of his shock, smiled at the two. “Lad, are ye trying to say that ye feel attracted to Ronon…sexually?”
Rodney swallowed.
Carson blinked before tilting his head to the side, “Wait. John he doesn’t have to be gay because he’s attracted to Ronon. If ye haven’t forgotten, the lad is now a lass; so Rodney feeling something for him wouldn’t call him exactly gay.”
Rodney just ignored the two.
Sheppard turned to Carson, “But Shirley was a guy to begin with, Carson. He couldn’t just out of the blue think he felt something for Shirley without having to have felt something for Ronon to begin with.”
Carson considered his reply. “Well, why don’t we ask Rodney here?”
Rodney blinked, “Um why not play the ‘lets not ask Rodney here’ games? It’s tons of fun!” He noticed them rolling their eyes, “No?”
“So what is it McKay - Ronon or Shirley?”
“Um...”
------------------------------------------------------
“You think they’ll realize they belong together?”
Teyla smiled at Kate who rested within her arms, before tentatively speaking. “As Colonel Sheppard would say in your native Earth language - ‘it’s only a matter of time’.” Kate laughed softly, “You’ve been around the Colonel a bit too much sweetie. I believe he’s rubbing off on you.” Teyla smiled, stroking the other woman’s hair as she did. “By the light my love, I pray that Ronon understands what’s in his soul.”
Kate sighed contently for a moment. She turned her face to glance up at her lover, “I believe it’ll work out soon enough, sweetie.” Teyla nodded in reply but still she held the same worried look she had in her eyes since she first entered Kate’s office. Kate lifted her hand to touch Teyla’s face gently. “Hey, don’t worry.” Teyla leaned into the touch, smiling softly as Kate continued. “If worse comes to worst, we can lock them up in some storage room here until they resolve their problems….” Kate winked seductively, “or until they have a make out session.”
Teyla’s smile turned into a full grown grin as she looked upon her lover, amused. “My love, I did all that I could to make Ronon see what he should have seen from the start.”
Kate sighed leaning closer into Teyla’s tight embrace, “I know, sweetie.”
“I fear for what is yet to come, if nothing is resolved by this.”
“I can try to talk to either of them if you want me to, Teyla?” She took one of Teyla’s hands bringing it to her lips, laying a gentle kiss on the palm. “I can be the supportive friend! I know all about the whole supportive friend principle.”
Teyla laughed tilting her head, “If you feel it to be wise, my love.” Kate smiled with glee, making a note to talk to those boys as soon as possible. “Now this is going to be fun.”
------------------------------------------------------
“Doctor McKay.”
Rodney looked up from where he was studying the Ancient device that turned Ronon into a girl in the first place. Noticing who the one to call out to him was, his eyes widened with displeasure, “Oh no.”
Kate gave him a wide smile as she walked closer to Rodney, “Hiya.”
Rodney rolled his eyes, “Doctor Heightmeyer. Greetings.”
Kate just kept on smiling as she stood next to him, staring at the device that was on the table. “So that’s the thing that caused all this mess to being with, huh?” She spoke as she moved a finger to touch the said device before getting it slapped away by an annoyed McKay.
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you to not touch things that aren’t yours?”
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to be social?”
Rodney eyes narrowed as he looked at her, “Cute, very cute.” Kate continued to grin. “So Doctor McKay, I’ve heard you’ve gotten yourself into quite the predicament.”
Rodney groaned, did everyone in Atlantis just know or something? He sighed, “That’s one way of putting it lightly…”
“So Doctor…” Kate turned to face him, “Anyone caught your interest?” Rodney, confused, was taken back at the quick change of topic. “What?”
“Like anyone?”
McKay gave her a frown. “What are you on about Kate?”
“Oh nothing.” She said as started playing with some equipment in the lab. “So do you like Ronon?” Once again taken back by the sudden comment, Rodney grabbed her arm to stop touching things as he spoke. “What? Huh? What?”
As if talking to a small child, Kate repeated her words slowly. “Do. You. Like. Ronon.” Rodney shook his head at the revelation, “Me? Ronon? Um…Me?”
Kate smiled. Rodney sighed, “Ah…”
Kate winked, “Come on Rodney, let your feelings out.” Rodney glared at her, “I’m only trying to help Rodney. You know you keeping inside what you feel, is not the best option here.”
Rodney sat down in a chair, banging his head against one of the lab tables for a few moments before lifting his head back up to stare at Kate. “Everybody wants to help. Teyla, John, Carson - you…" He swallowed, turning to glance at a wall beside Kate. “I…I don’t even know if I’m….” He paused for a moment. “I don’t know what’s going on, okay. Never had this happened before.” He paused again before snorting, “That’s just an amazingly dumb thing to say isn’t it?” He glanced at Kate, “Obviously, this never happened before.”
Kate considers Rodney’s words. “There’s always a first time for everything.” In a softer tone this time, “We just want the best for you Rodney.”
Rodney sighed. “Fine, okay, say that I ask for your help. What are you going to suggest huh?” He spoke as he glared at Kate with narrowed eyes, “That I go up to Ronon and start up a conversation? Oh like it’s going to go so fucking great…” He says sarcastically “…and we going to like each other and spend time together, our feelings growing deeper till one day without realizing, we’re both deeply in love with one another?”
Kate grinned. “Yep, that was the gist of what I was going to suggest.”
“You’ve been taking a bit too many happy pills, haven’t you?”
------------------------------------------------------
“She’s wrong!” Ronon paced back and forth in the training room. “She’s so wrong!” He was going to do a bit of work out to relieve some stress but in the end started to rethink what Teyla had said to him earlier.
“I do not like him.” He shook his head as he paced like a caged animal, “Hate him, yes. That? No.” He continued pacing; his body - well female body - was a nervous wreck. Just the idea of thinking about him and Rodney in such way… No! Not even going to dwell on it. Nope. Not one bit.
Man, feelings are a bitch.
He let out a frustrated scream; trying to ease the turmoil that overcame his mind. He went over to a near by punching bag in the room, and started to punch it. Each punch was a harsh one, fast, building momentum as each one was thrown. His mind kept bringing back things he didn’t want to consider.
“I am concerned for you.”
He was perfectly fine. Nothing wrong - so he was a female, he was perfectly fine when it came to emotions. Just great...great…
“He made a mistake. I consent to that, but he regrets the choices he has chosen.”
Does he really? We were never close to begin with, but does he? No. He’s just scared. He thinks I’ll hurt him…serves him right. He doesn’t care, no. Never did.
“Anger clouds your thoughts, do not let foolish ideas cloud what’s in front of you?”
She’s wrong. He has a right to be angry, it’s not like she got turned to a man out of the blue. She wouldn’t be thinking the same if this happened to her. Oh no. But I have to be all forgiving and forgetful as if this never happened to me. I have a right to be angry….
“Friendship, Family, Loyalty.”
But she has a point. Damn it, I hate it when she has a point. Why does she always have to have the point? You can’t win an argument with her! Okay so I consider him part of my family, if we can all be called family; and I can say I’m loyal to those that are in my pack. They’ve taken care of me ever since I arrived in Atlantis. Okay, they won my loyalty; he has won my loyalty, but my friendship? Have we ever been friends?
Have we?
“Do not oppose your true feelings, search deep within.”
No. There’s no true feeling. She’s wrong. No. Damn Teyla she got me all confused now. I don’t, I don’t feel that way for McKay. Oh hell no. No, no, no. There’s no hidden feelings, there isn’t…
“Never hate; love.”
Love? Do I…can it be possible? Have my feelings changed without me knowing? Do I? Well, do I?
Do I love Rodney McKay?
“Man talk about looking like hell.”
Ronon looked up from where he was holding onto the punching bag thinking, sweating like hell. Sheppard took his time walking into the room, stopping to lean against one of the training dolls in the room.
Gruffly he greeted the man, “Sheppard.
John gave him a lopsided smile, “Bad day?”
Ronon just gave him a blank look before asking a question. “So I decided to change my name?” John eyes widen. “Ah heh…it was just a small joke. No hard feelings?”
Ronon smiled in return, walking closer to John, “No…no hard feelings.” John smiled relieved as Ronon stood a few steps away but it all changed to an expression of pain seeing as Ronon punched John in the stomach. It wasn’t that hard. But it was to prove a point.
“I told you before, I tell you again. Don’t call me Shirley.”
John gasped from the floor as he had fallen from the impact. He raised a hand in a defensive gesture. “I get it, I get it. Sorry.” Ronon rolled his eyes and stuck out a hand to pull him up. John reached out with his own hand to grasp it. Ronon turned to face him, “I didn’t hit you that hard now.”
John glared at him as he just shrugged in reply. But John kept staring at him for a moment longer, “What Sheppard?”
“Hmm, I don’t know….”
He ignored the urge to roll his eyes, “What?” Sheppard frowned slightly. “You look troubled. Are you troubled, or is this you PMSing?”
This time Ronon did roll his eyes.
------------------------------------------------------
“GAH!”
Rodney wanted to throw the device out a window. It was not working no matter what he did. He was giving up hope. He was so dead. So very dead.
“Rodney, what on earth is going on?”
He glared at the intruder, not caring if it was Elizabeth. “I've been trying to make an enchilada out of this Ancient device for the past hour because I have a sudden urge for some food. What does it LOOK like I’m doing?”
“Rodney!”
He sighed. “I’m sorry Elizabeth. I just haven’t been the social type as of late.” She raised and eyebrow at him as she crossed her arms across her chest, he rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’m not good with people. Happy?”
She smiled, amused, before glancing at the forgotten device that was on the lab table, “How’s it coming along?”
“Hell. Pure hell.”
She winced, “Not coming out as planned, I see.” Rodney gave her a level look. “What gives it away?” She gave him a pointed look, “Looking at you.”
He gave her a disgusted frown. “Cute. Very cute.”
Elizabeth sighed, “Do you want to tell him, or should I?”
“Do we even have to tell him at all?”
“Rodney.” He groaned in reply. “Fine. You…” He notices her glare. “I mean I’ll tell him.” She smiled at him as he continued. “But if I don’t return, I’ll be leaving a will on my bed in my quarters, okay?”
Elizabeth sighed and gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’ll work out in the end.”
“I hope you’re right Elizabeth,” Rodney closed his eyes as he lifted a hand to rub his temple as a headache started to form. “I hope you’re right.”
------------------------------------------------------
After a shower and a change of clean clothing Ronon decided to head out to the mess hall to eat something. He smiled to himself, even with everything that has happened, the female body he had wasn’t so bad. He has gotten used to it, but he wasn’t going to admit that any time soon now.
He was about to make a u-turn around a corridor when he bumped into someone. “Oh sorr -” He stopped talking; noticing who it was he had just run into.
Rodney grimaced after realizing he had ran into the person he was looking for, but he didn’t think it would be that fast “Ronon.” He sighed, his eyes falling to the ground below.
“McKay.”
Rodney swallowed. “Um…I have. I mean that's to say... No, no, I'm only trying to see if you can listen...I know it's not m-my place, but...” He pauses for a long moment feeling Ronon eyes on him as he stared at the ground. “See there's this thing...you have to know....please for the love of god don't kill me....I-I tried....really.” He started to fidget as he spoke, “It just wouldn't...I don't know what the problem was....I'm sorry. I know you must hate me now....you're always angry at me.....I know this isn't much, but....I hope you can realize.......god this isn't coming out well.” Rodney closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. “Look, I’m just sorry okay. I’m sorry.”
Ronon was now worried. Why was Rodney so worked up, even more so than usual? “What’s going on?”
Rodney tried to chuckle, “Well um… Did I tell you I’m sorry?”
“McKay, focus.” Ronon growled. Rodney’s shoulder slumped, “The device. It doesn’t work.” Ronon eyes twitched dangerously, “What?” Rodney bit his lip, “Doesn’t….work.”
Ronon grabbed Rodney’s arm dragging him into a nearby empty room “Are you telling me that I’m STUCK like this?” Rodney closed his eyes in fear as he nodded.
A loud bang made him open his eyes quickly, he noticed Ronon grabbed something in the room and flung it across to the other side of the room. He was breathing hard as he ranted. “I’m a girl now. I’ll still be a girl….I’ll never be me…I’m stuck.” He leaned against a wall, sliding down to the ground below. “Stuck.”
Rodney watched, starting to feel guilty. Here he feared what he had to go through and it never crossed his mind that Ronon could be shaken up by this predicament. It must have been the fact that he always pictured him as a strong person who could over come any obstacles in his path, unlike him. But seeing him falling apart like now, it shook something deep within his being.
Tentatively he walked towards the other person. Ronon was banging the back of his head against the wall behind him, muttering over the word “stuck” as angry tears slipped out of his eyes. Rodney really felt bad now, if he never tricked Ronon to help him in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening.
He was to blame.
He stretched out a hand, reaching out to touch Ronon face. An urge to wipe those tears away started to grow in him but he held back his arm. “Ronon?” He softly whispered trying to get his attention, “Ronon?”
“Shhh…its okay Ronon.”
Ronon finally stopped banging his head and ended up just leaning it against the wall. He turned his face towards Rodney’s direction. “Okay? Okay. Rodney I’m stuck as a female.” Ronon closed his eyes, “I was starting to get used to this body you know…” He paused, “but there was always the hope I would go back to my original body.” He moved his face away, “Now that’ll never happen.”
Rodney slowly lifted his hand again to touch Ronon’s face this time with more confidence. He slowly moved Ronon’s face back towards him, wiping the tears away gently with his thumb. “I’m sorry Ronon. I’m truly sorry.”
Ronon gave him a sad smile. “I was angry at you. Hated you even.” He paused for a while longer, “but somehow…I don’t know. I just couldn’t hate you anymore, no matter how many times I hoped.” Rodney felt like a heel, he didn’t know why, but he slowly moved in closer. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before gently laying a soft kiss onto Ronon’s forehead.
Ronon tensed slightly at touch of the kiss onto his skin. It was odd feeling, pleasure in a female body, different than it felt when he was in his male one. The kiss made him tingle all over, a sensation that was new to him. He mentally told himself to relax and a small smile formed on his lips. Gently he pushed away from Rodney, “I don’t have the energy any more to be angry at you, so let’s just forget it okay. There’s no point of going on about it now…”
Rodney had frozen when he felt Ronon tense up but once he relaxed he did as well. He sighed, “It’s just, and you have every right. What I did…I shou-” Ronon laid a finger on his lips to cut him off. “I said forget it.” He removed his finger once Rodney nodded. For a few moments they just stared at each other silently, before Ronon broke the silence. “Can you just hold me?”
Rodney’s eyes widen in surprise, Ronon immediately took it the wrong way. “I mean. No. Forget it; it was a stupid thing to ask…”
“No. I mean its okay.” Rodney quickly responded before a tiny smile grew on his face, “I don’t mind.” Ronon couldn’t help but blush slightly before moving in closer to Rodney’s outstretched arms, allowing him to encircle his arms around his waist. He laid his head against Rodney’s chest, with Rodney’s arms wrapped around him, holding him close. For what it seemed like eternity, they stayed that way as silent as possible before one of them spoke.
“So there’s no other way…”
Rodney sighed sadly as he tightened his hold on Ronon, “No. I’m sorry. At least there’s no other way that isn’t scientific.” Ronon leaned closer, closing his eyes as he did, silent tears trailed down his face. Rodney glanced down and noticed them, lifting a hand to wipe them away. “Don’t cry; this is my entire fault.”
Ronon couldn’t help the tears that decided to break free from his eyes. His emotions were on a whirlwind, he just curled closer to Rodney as a sob broke through. Rodney’s own eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. He held the body in his arms tighter, resting his head upon Ronon own, before starting to rock them both back and forth.
Fin
Author: Mari (aquaangel)
Character/Pairing: Ronon Dex, possible pre-slash pairing (Ronon Dex/Rodney McKay), background Kate/Teyla
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Notes: There are certain quotes used from the movie Airplanes, as well from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and ANGEL within the story. That and this fic took a life of it's own, it was meant to be 4 pages max - not 28, lol. Hope everyone enjoys it!
Word Count: 11,398
Summary: Always be careful of what you touch or hold for that matter; never know what the consequences might be.
Beta by: almightychrissy, hermioneorourke, and kittywitch
Table: wtf27 Table
Previous Part: Part One
Genderswap - Part Two
“Colonel, I believe it would be wise if you spoke to Ronon.”
“And say what Teyla?” John gave her an odd look, “Oh hey Shirley what’s new? Oh by the way, try not to kill McKay next time you see him, kay? I just waxed the floor, wouldn’t want blood to get on it now.” He scoffed, “Yeah that would come off nicely. He’s gonna kill McKay anyway, I don’t need him to come after me now.”
Teyla stared at him, confused at John’s choice of words. “Wax the floor?” She tilted her head to the side, “Another one of your Earth expressions?”
John shook his head as he rolled his eyes, “Oh yea, there’s plenty more where that one came from.” He bit his lip in thought, “Why don’t you speak to Shirley?”
“Shirley? Did Ronon request a change in his birth name?”
John snorted, “Did he ever… I figured; new look needs a new name. Besides I don’t think Ronon feels right for a girl, ya know?” He winked at Teyla.
Quirking an eyebrow, she shrugged her shoulders. “If you believe it is beneficial for Ronon to have a new name…”
John smirked slightly, “Oh yeah.”
“Will you not talk to…Shirley then?”
John bit his lips hard, trying to not go against his will power and bust out laughing. God he loved that name now. “I thought we went through this Teyla, do you think she would listen to me? She would most likely punch my lights out before talking to me in her current state.” He shuddered, “Why don’t you have you know, one of those talks with Shirley?”
Narrowing her eyes in confusion, “I do not comprehend, my friend.”
“You know… those talks.” In response Teyla gave him a level look. “Fine, those girly talks, maybe you can make him see reason.”
Teyla just shook her head with an amused smile.
------------------------------------------------------
Teyla pressed her hand on the chimes outside of Ronon’s quarters. She waited patiently for the door to slide open and found Ronon staring at her as she stood in the door way.
Ronon bowed his head in greeting, “Teyla.”
She did the same in return and was going to greet by calling him by his own name, but she remember the Colonel’s words. “Shirley.”
Ronon’s eyes widen. “Of all the… you too?” Teyla, confused, tilted her head to the side, “Did I cause you any burden?”
Ronon sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, “Never mind.” He moved to the side to allow Teyla to enter. “Just promise me something?” Teyla nodded once she was in the room.
“Don’t call me Shirley. I don’t want to be upset with you of all people.”
Confused again, Teyla nodded in consent, “I will honor your request, my friend. But I must confess - I am rather confused by it. Did you not request a change of your birth name?”
Ronon raised an eyebrow, “What?”
“Did you not request that from the Colonel?”
Ronon’s eyes darkened as he frowned. “Ah Sheppard; so this is his fault.” He shook his head, “No Teyla. The Colonel must have been mistaken. I will clear it up for him later, don’t worry.” He gave her a dangerous smile.
Teyla smiled at her close friend, not knowing of the burden she innocently placed on John. “I believe that to be wise. The Colonel should be made known of the error before it spreads any more.
Ronon smiled and patted Teyla’s shoulder reassuringly, “No worries.” He sighed, “So you visited.”
Teyla nodded, “I am concerned for you.”
Ronon blinked, “Why?”
Teyla sighed and walked closer to Ronon, “Concerned for you, my friend, and Doctor McKay.” At hearing Rodney’s name Ronon scoffed and moved away. “Oh so you’re bringing him into this now aren’t you.”
“Ronon, must you behave in such a way?”
Ronon sighed; he wasn’t going to get angry. This was Teyla, his friend, his little sister even. “Do you not understand, I don’t like the guy Teyla?” He moved to face her, “Look what he did to me! Does this look like I’m going to be buddy buddy with him? No.”
Teyla gave him a level look as she crossed her arms across her chest. “You will not hurt Doctor McKay, Ronon. Are we clear?”
Ronon snorted, “And why not? After what he did….” Teyla cut him off, “He made a mistake. I consent to that, but he regrets the choices he has chosen. He is our friend Ronon, you cannot forget that.”
“Oh I can’t now? Have you not noticed what has happened Teyla, he and I aren’t on good terms.”
Teyla narrowed her eyes, “Oh light! If you continue to follow this useless notion, you give me no other option my friend. If I must hurt you to protect Doctor McKay, I will.” Ronon’s eyes widen at Teyla revelation, “What? You would go against me…because of him?”
“Ronon, do you not see? Anger clouds your thoughts, do not let foolish ideas cloud what in front of you?”
“And that is what Teyla?”
“Friendship, family and loyalty.”
Ronon stood quiet; Teyla continued. “Doctor McKay was one of the few that befriended us when we first arrived here in Atlantis, not many trusted us, wanted to be near us. I consent to your point that what he has done was not correct. Though I will not allow something small to destroy what we all have together….” She turned to stare at him straight in the eye, “What is between you two…”
Ronon blinked confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I have noticed Ronon.” Ronon kept quiet, she continued her speech. “Do not burden yourself to hide it from me my friend. I understand and approve of your feelings towards him.”
“What?” Ronon shook his head quickly. “No, no no.” He continued to shake his head, “That’s not true.” Teyla smiled softly, “Denying something precious should not happen, Ronon.”
“I’m not denying anything!”
“It is alright my friend, I repeat - I understand and approve.” Ronon wanted to scream out in frustration, “I don’t….okay so I feel sorry for him a bit, or concerned, or….maybe want to comfort him when he’s down…” He started to pace in his room, “That doesn’t mean….No. You hear me Teyla? No!”
Teyla gave him a gentle smile, “Ronon. Do not oppose your true feelings, search deep within. You know I speak the truth.”
“But -” Ronon closed his eyes, “I can’t. I’m supposed to hate him.” He slams a fist down on to a near by table. “You hear me I’m supposed to hate him… not this.” Teyla shook her head as she walked closer to her friend once more, laying a gentle hand on his arm.
“Never hate; love.”
------------------------------------------------------
“McKay, what are you doing?”
Rodney glanced up to stare at Sheppard from where he sat on the floor in his lab in a corner. “What does it look like I’m doing? Building a sand castle? I’m trying to sit here and pretend to be a rock and fade away to nothingness. Okay? So leave me alone!”
A person kneeled, laying a gentle hand on Rodney’s forehead. “Are ye alright Rodney?”
Rodney glared at both John and Carson, “Can’t you leave a guy in peace?” He glanced back to the floor around him, “Go away!”
John rolled his eyes, “Ya know McKay, if you weren’t already in a corner to begin with. I’d send you to one for such language. “Go away?” He shook his head, “Tsk, tsk, bad Rodney.” Carson rolled his eyes at the two, before focusing on Rodney only, “Something a matter lad?”
Rodney sighed, knowing full well they wouldn’t leave him alone. “When isn’t there?”
John sighed and flopped to the ground below to sit in a cross legged position. He moved his arms to push Carson to the side making the other man flop down as well. Carson glared at him in return, making John smile sheepishly. “Ooops. Should have warned you before doing that, huh?” He decided to change the topic before Carson decided to cause bodily harm to him. Turning to face Rodney, he started to speak, “So come on McKay, what’s a matter?”
“Can’t you just go away?”
John smiled at him, scooting over towards him, wrapping an arm over Rodney’s shoulder. “Don’t feel bad; tell Uncle John here all your problems.”
Rodney snorted before turning to Carson, “Can’t you send him to a mental institution? It’ll save me the trouble of having to murder him.” Carson chuckled as he shook his head. “The joys that would bring lad, alas we have to keep him here a little while longer.”
John frowned, “I’m right here, you know.”
Rodney turned to him, “We don’t care, you know.”
They all had a good chuckle before Carson gave Rodney a concerned look. “Now Rodney, what’s a matter? Why so down?” John nodded, “Yeah McKay. Look I can be a real air head sometimes, but it doesn’t mean I don’t notice things. What’s going on?” Carson gave John a look.
John blinked, “What? I’m only saying I want to help if I can.” Carson shook his head before turning back to Rodney, “We both would.”
Rodney groaned. “It’s about Ronon.”
Carson nodded in understanding, John blinked. “Shirley?” Carson decided it was best to ignore the Colonel for the time being. “What about Ronon, lad?”
Rodney sighed, “I…I don’t know. That’s the thing I don’t know.” He looked up into Carson’s concerned eyes, “I had a nightmare last night.” He shuddered at the memory and glanced at Sheppard. “You had a cameo in it, but it was rather...” He thought for a moment. “Disturbing.”
Carson patted Rodney’s knee, “Would you like me to schedule an appointment with Kate for you?” Rodney blinked and shook his head, “No. Are you nuts?
“Cameo? I wasn’t a porn star was I?”
Both Rodney and Carson stopped to look at him. John smiled innocently, “What?”
Carson shook his head, “Are ye sure lad, ye not just jumping to conclusion with yer fear of Ronon?” Rodney blinked, “I don’t know.” He sighed as he glanced at the floor, “I saw him earlier.”
Carson looked concerned, “He didn’t hurt you did he?”
John quickly glanced at Rodney, scanning him with his eyes for any sight of injury. “He didn’t did he? Scary or not, I won’t let him harm you if it came to that, you know that, don’t you, McKay?” Rodney shook his head, “No. No, I thought he was, but no.”
Confused, Carson raised an eyebrow, “So lad what’s the problem?”
“Can an attraction come out of fear?”
Carson and John glanced at each other before both turning to look at McKay. “What are you talking about, McKay?” Rodney turned to glance away, “Nothing, never mind.”
“McKay.” No response was given, “McKay.”
“What?”
“Are you gay?”
Rodney glared at John as Carson shook his head in disbelief. “What does that have to do with anything?”
John shrugged, “Hey it’s cool with me, no need to worry.” Rodney mouth hung open as he stared at him. “We’re still friends, McKay; gay or no, geek or no - friends.” John patted Rodney’s shoulder as he spoke. Carson, once out of his shock, smiled at the two. “Lad, are ye trying to say that ye feel attracted to Ronon…sexually?”
Rodney swallowed.
Carson blinked before tilting his head to the side, “Wait. John he doesn’t have to be gay because he’s attracted to Ronon. If ye haven’t forgotten, the lad is now a lass; so Rodney feeling something for him wouldn’t call him exactly gay.”
Rodney just ignored the two.
Sheppard turned to Carson, “But Shirley was a guy to begin with, Carson. He couldn’t just out of the blue think he felt something for Shirley without having to have felt something for Ronon to begin with.”
Carson considered his reply. “Well, why don’t we ask Rodney here?”
Rodney blinked, “Um why not play the ‘lets not ask Rodney here’ games? It’s tons of fun!” He noticed them rolling their eyes, “No?”
“So what is it McKay - Ronon or Shirley?”
“Um...”
------------------------------------------------------
“You think they’ll realize they belong together?”
Teyla smiled at Kate who rested within her arms, before tentatively speaking. “As Colonel Sheppard would say in your native Earth language - ‘it’s only a matter of time’.” Kate laughed softly, “You’ve been around the Colonel a bit too much sweetie. I believe he’s rubbing off on you.” Teyla smiled, stroking the other woman’s hair as she did. “By the light my love, I pray that Ronon understands what’s in his soul.”
Kate sighed contently for a moment. She turned her face to glance up at her lover, “I believe it’ll work out soon enough, sweetie.” Teyla nodded in reply but still she held the same worried look she had in her eyes since she first entered Kate’s office. Kate lifted her hand to touch Teyla’s face gently. “Hey, don’t worry.” Teyla leaned into the touch, smiling softly as Kate continued. “If worse comes to worst, we can lock them up in some storage room here until they resolve their problems….” Kate winked seductively, “or until they have a make out session.”
Teyla’s smile turned into a full grown grin as she looked upon her lover, amused. “My love, I did all that I could to make Ronon see what he should have seen from the start.”
Kate sighed leaning closer into Teyla’s tight embrace, “I know, sweetie.”
“I fear for what is yet to come, if nothing is resolved by this.”
“I can try to talk to either of them if you want me to, Teyla?” She took one of Teyla’s hands bringing it to her lips, laying a gentle kiss on the palm. “I can be the supportive friend! I know all about the whole supportive friend principle.”
Teyla laughed tilting her head, “If you feel it to be wise, my love.” Kate smiled with glee, making a note to talk to those boys as soon as possible. “Now this is going to be fun.”
------------------------------------------------------
“Doctor McKay.”
Rodney looked up from where he was studying the Ancient device that turned Ronon into a girl in the first place. Noticing who the one to call out to him was, his eyes widened with displeasure, “Oh no.”
Kate gave him a wide smile as she walked closer to Rodney, “Hiya.”
Rodney rolled his eyes, “Doctor Heightmeyer. Greetings.”
Kate just kept on smiling as she stood next to him, staring at the device that was on the table. “So that’s the thing that caused all this mess to being with, huh?” She spoke as she moved a finger to touch the said device before getting it slapped away by an annoyed McKay.
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you to not touch things that aren’t yours?”
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to be social?”
Rodney eyes narrowed as he looked at her, “Cute, very cute.” Kate continued to grin. “So Doctor McKay, I’ve heard you’ve gotten yourself into quite the predicament.”
Rodney groaned, did everyone in Atlantis just know or something? He sighed, “That’s one way of putting it lightly…”
“So Doctor…” Kate turned to face him, “Anyone caught your interest?” Rodney, confused, was taken back at the quick change of topic. “What?”
“Like anyone?”
McKay gave her a frown. “What are you on about Kate?”
“Oh nothing.” She said as started playing with some equipment in the lab. “So do you like Ronon?” Once again taken back by the sudden comment, Rodney grabbed her arm to stop touching things as he spoke. “What? Huh? What?”
As if talking to a small child, Kate repeated her words slowly. “Do. You. Like. Ronon.” Rodney shook his head at the revelation, “Me? Ronon? Um…Me?”
Kate smiled. Rodney sighed, “Ah…”
Kate winked, “Come on Rodney, let your feelings out.” Rodney glared at her, “I’m only trying to help Rodney. You know you keeping inside what you feel, is not the best option here.”
Rodney sat down in a chair, banging his head against one of the lab tables for a few moments before lifting his head back up to stare at Kate. “Everybody wants to help. Teyla, John, Carson - you…" He swallowed, turning to glance at a wall beside Kate. “I…I don’t even know if I’m….” He paused for a moment. “I don’t know what’s going on, okay. Never had this happened before.” He paused again before snorting, “That’s just an amazingly dumb thing to say isn’t it?” He glanced at Kate, “Obviously, this never happened before.”
Kate considers Rodney’s words. “There’s always a first time for everything.” In a softer tone this time, “We just want the best for you Rodney.”
Rodney sighed. “Fine, okay, say that I ask for your help. What are you going to suggest huh?” He spoke as he glared at Kate with narrowed eyes, “That I go up to Ronon and start up a conversation? Oh like it’s going to go so fucking great…” He says sarcastically “…and we going to like each other and spend time together, our feelings growing deeper till one day without realizing, we’re both deeply in love with one another?”
Kate grinned. “Yep, that was the gist of what I was going to suggest.”
“You’ve been taking a bit too many happy pills, haven’t you?”
------------------------------------------------------
“She’s wrong!” Ronon paced back and forth in the training room. “She’s so wrong!” He was going to do a bit of work out to relieve some stress but in the end started to rethink what Teyla had said to him earlier.
“I do not like him.” He shook his head as he paced like a caged animal, “Hate him, yes. That? No.” He continued pacing; his body - well female body - was a nervous wreck. Just the idea of thinking about him and Rodney in such way… No! Not even going to dwell on it. Nope. Not one bit.
Man, feelings are a bitch.
He let out a frustrated scream; trying to ease the turmoil that overcame his mind. He went over to a near by punching bag in the room, and started to punch it. Each punch was a harsh one, fast, building momentum as each one was thrown. His mind kept bringing back things he didn’t want to consider.
“I am concerned for you.”
He was perfectly fine. Nothing wrong - so he was a female, he was perfectly fine when it came to emotions. Just great...great…
“He made a mistake. I consent to that, but he regrets the choices he has chosen.”
Does he really? We were never close to begin with, but does he? No. He’s just scared. He thinks I’ll hurt him…serves him right. He doesn’t care, no. Never did.
“Anger clouds your thoughts, do not let foolish ideas cloud what’s in front of you?”
She’s wrong. He has a right to be angry, it’s not like she got turned to a man out of the blue. She wouldn’t be thinking the same if this happened to her. Oh no. But I have to be all forgiving and forgetful as if this never happened to me. I have a right to be angry….
“Friendship, Family, Loyalty.”
But she has a point. Damn it, I hate it when she has a point. Why does she always have to have the point? You can’t win an argument with her! Okay so I consider him part of my family, if we can all be called family; and I can say I’m loyal to those that are in my pack. They’ve taken care of me ever since I arrived in Atlantis. Okay, they won my loyalty; he has won my loyalty, but my friendship? Have we ever been friends?
Have we?
“Do not oppose your true feelings, search deep within.”
No. There’s no true feeling. She’s wrong. No. Damn Teyla she got me all confused now. I don’t, I don’t feel that way for McKay. Oh hell no. No, no, no. There’s no hidden feelings, there isn’t…
“Never hate; love.”
Love? Do I…can it be possible? Have my feelings changed without me knowing? Do I? Well, do I?
Do I love Rodney McKay?
“Man talk about looking like hell.”
Ronon looked up from where he was holding onto the punching bag thinking, sweating like hell. Sheppard took his time walking into the room, stopping to lean against one of the training dolls in the room.
Gruffly he greeted the man, “Sheppard.
John gave him a lopsided smile, “Bad day?”
Ronon just gave him a blank look before asking a question. “So I decided to change my name?” John eyes widen. “Ah heh…it was just a small joke. No hard feelings?”
Ronon smiled in return, walking closer to John, “No…no hard feelings.” John smiled relieved as Ronon stood a few steps away but it all changed to an expression of pain seeing as Ronon punched John in the stomach. It wasn’t that hard. But it was to prove a point.
“I told you before, I tell you again. Don’t call me Shirley.”
John gasped from the floor as he had fallen from the impact. He raised a hand in a defensive gesture. “I get it, I get it. Sorry.” Ronon rolled his eyes and stuck out a hand to pull him up. John reached out with his own hand to grasp it. Ronon turned to face him, “I didn’t hit you that hard now.”
John glared at him as he just shrugged in reply. But John kept staring at him for a moment longer, “What Sheppard?”
“Hmm, I don’t know….”
He ignored the urge to roll his eyes, “What?” Sheppard frowned slightly. “You look troubled. Are you troubled, or is this you PMSing?”
This time Ronon did roll his eyes.
------------------------------------------------------
“GAH!”
Rodney wanted to throw the device out a window. It was not working no matter what he did. He was giving up hope. He was so dead. So very dead.
“Rodney, what on earth is going on?”
He glared at the intruder, not caring if it was Elizabeth. “I've been trying to make an enchilada out of this Ancient device for the past hour because I have a sudden urge for some food. What does it LOOK like I’m doing?”
“Rodney!”
He sighed. “I’m sorry Elizabeth. I just haven’t been the social type as of late.” She raised and eyebrow at him as she crossed her arms across her chest, he rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’m not good with people. Happy?”
She smiled, amused, before glancing at the forgotten device that was on the lab table, “How’s it coming along?”
“Hell. Pure hell.”
She winced, “Not coming out as planned, I see.” Rodney gave her a level look. “What gives it away?” She gave him a pointed look, “Looking at you.”
He gave her a disgusted frown. “Cute. Very cute.”
Elizabeth sighed, “Do you want to tell him, or should I?”
“Do we even have to tell him at all?”
“Rodney.” He groaned in reply. “Fine. You…” He notices her glare. “I mean I’ll tell him.” She smiled at him as he continued. “But if I don’t return, I’ll be leaving a will on my bed in my quarters, okay?”
Elizabeth sighed and gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’ll work out in the end.”
“I hope you’re right Elizabeth,” Rodney closed his eyes as he lifted a hand to rub his temple as a headache started to form. “I hope you’re right.”
------------------------------------------------------
After a shower and a change of clean clothing Ronon decided to head out to the mess hall to eat something. He smiled to himself, even with everything that has happened, the female body he had wasn’t so bad. He has gotten used to it, but he wasn’t going to admit that any time soon now.
He was about to make a u-turn around a corridor when he bumped into someone. “Oh sorr -” He stopped talking; noticing who it was he had just run into.
Rodney grimaced after realizing he had ran into the person he was looking for, but he didn’t think it would be that fast “Ronon.” He sighed, his eyes falling to the ground below.
“McKay.”
Rodney swallowed. “Um…I have. I mean that's to say... No, no, I'm only trying to see if you can listen...I know it's not m-my place, but...” He pauses for a long moment feeling Ronon eyes on him as he stared at the ground. “See there's this thing...you have to know....please for the love of god don't kill me....I-I tried....really.” He started to fidget as he spoke, “It just wouldn't...I don't know what the problem was....I'm sorry. I know you must hate me now....you're always angry at me.....I know this isn't much, but....I hope you can realize.......god this isn't coming out well.” Rodney closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. “Look, I’m just sorry okay. I’m sorry.”
Ronon was now worried. Why was Rodney so worked up, even more so than usual? “What’s going on?”
Rodney tried to chuckle, “Well um… Did I tell you I’m sorry?”
“McKay, focus.” Ronon growled. Rodney’s shoulder slumped, “The device. It doesn’t work.” Ronon eyes twitched dangerously, “What?” Rodney bit his lip, “Doesn’t….work.”
Ronon grabbed Rodney’s arm dragging him into a nearby empty room “Are you telling me that I’m STUCK like this?” Rodney closed his eyes in fear as he nodded.
A loud bang made him open his eyes quickly, he noticed Ronon grabbed something in the room and flung it across to the other side of the room. He was breathing hard as he ranted. “I’m a girl now. I’ll still be a girl….I’ll never be me…I’m stuck.” He leaned against a wall, sliding down to the ground below. “Stuck.”
Rodney watched, starting to feel guilty. Here he feared what he had to go through and it never crossed his mind that Ronon could be shaken up by this predicament. It must have been the fact that he always pictured him as a strong person who could over come any obstacles in his path, unlike him. But seeing him falling apart like now, it shook something deep within his being.
Tentatively he walked towards the other person. Ronon was banging the back of his head against the wall behind him, muttering over the word “stuck” as angry tears slipped out of his eyes. Rodney really felt bad now, if he never tricked Ronon to help him in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening.
He was to blame.
He stretched out a hand, reaching out to touch Ronon face. An urge to wipe those tears away started to grow in him but he held back his arm. “Ronon?” He softly whispered trying to get his attention, “Ronon?”
“Shhh…its okay Ronon.”
Ronon finally stopped banging his head and ended up just leaning it against the wall. He turned his face towards Rodney’s direction. “Okay? Okay. Rodney I’m stuck as a female.” Ronon closed his eyes, “I was starting to get used to this body you know…” He paused, “but there was always the hope I would go back to my original body.” He moved his face away, “Now that’ll never happen.”
Rodney slowly lifted his hand again to touch Ronon’s face this time with more confidence. He slowly moved Ronon’s face back towards him, wiping the tears away gently with his thumb. “I’m sorry Ronon. I’m truly sorry.”
Ronon gave him a sad smile. “I was angry at you. Hated you even.” He paused for a while longer, “but somehow…I don’t know. I just couldn’t hate you anymore, no matter how many times I hoped.” Rodney felt like a heel, he didn’t know why, but he slowly moved in closer. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before gently laying a soft kiss onto Ronon’s forehead.
Ronon tensed slightly at touch of the kiss onto his skin. It was odd feeling, pleasure in a female body, different than it felt when he was in his male one. The kiss made him tingle all over, a sensation that was new to him. He mentally told himself to relax and a small smile formed on his lips. Gently he pushed away from Rodney, “I don’t have the energy any more to be angry at you, so let’s just forget it okay. There’s no point of going on about it now…”
Rodney had frozen when he felt Ronon tense up but once he relaxed he did as well. He sighed, “It’s just, and you have every right. What I did…I shou-” Ronon laid a finger on his lips to cut him off. “I said forget it.” He removed his finger once Rodney nodded. For a few moments they just stared at each other silently, before Ronon broke the silence. “Can you just hold me?”
Rodney’s eyes widen in surprise, Ronon immediately took it the wrong way. “I mean. No. Forget it; it was a stupid thing to ask…”
“No. I mean its okay.” Rodney quickly responded before a tiny smile grew on his face, “I don’t mind.” Ronon couldn’t help but blush slightly before moving in closer to Rodney’s outstretched arms, allowing him to encircle his arms around his waist. He laid his head against Rodney’s chest, with Rodney’s arms wrapped around him, holding him close. For what it seemed like eternity, they stayed that way as silent as possible before one of them spoke.
“So there’s no other way…”
Rodney sighed sadly as he tightened his hold on Ronon, “No. I’m sorry. At least there’s no other way that isn’t scientific.” Ronon leaned closer, closing his eyes as he did, silent tears trailed down his face. Rodney glanced down and noticed them, lifting a hand to wipe them away. “Don’t cry; this is my entire fault.”
Ronon couldn’t help the tears that decided to break free from his eyes. His emotions were on a whirlwind, he just curled closer to Rodney as a sob broke through. Rodney’s own eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. He held the body in his arms tighter, resting his head upon Ronon own, before starting to rock them both back and forth.
Fin