well well well
I need to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. No I don’t, I already know. I’ve been depressed all damn weekend, it’s not even funny. I know that this whole thing with Ryan is what’s making me feel this way. I have found though, that if I replace depression with stress and concentrate on my schoolwork and think “Fuck Ryan” then I feel better.
He told me he was going to ask out Laci, I don’t understand why he would. I’ve told him again and again that going out with her will only get him in trouble and that he’s just gonna start picking up old habits again. He doesn’t want to listen tough, he just wants to “make his own mistakes and learn from them” I understand that ideal, but he isn’t in the right place in his life to be making that kind of mistake.
What he needs is support I don’t care where he gets it from as long as it’s healthy, but from Laci it won’t be. I want him to know that I would be there to help him out and support him, to talk to him when he needed it. I guess he just doesn’t want that from a relationship. I’ll just have to settle for being his friend and doing these things for him.
I think he wants to experiment with dating Laci just so he’ll know for sure what will happen. He really does expect me to sit around and wait for him to pull his head out of his ass. I don’t want to do that. It makes me feel degraded and second best, the sad thing is, I might end up doing that without realizing it.
I’m not interested in anyone else right now, I wish I was, but I’m not. I hope someone else will come along, and just help me out, and help me get over him. I think Ryan and I could be really good in a relationship together, but if he wants all his drama plus Laci’s I’m just gonna go ahead tell him I hope for the best, and let him get on with it.
He told me he was going to ask out Laci, I don’t understand why he would. I’ve told him again and again that going out with her will only get him in trouble and that he’s just gonna start picking up old habits again. He doesn’t want to listen tough, he just wants to “make his own mistakes and learn from them” I understand that ideal, but he isn’t in the right place in his life to be making that kind of mistake.
What he needs is support I don’t care where he gets it from as long as it’s healthy, but from Laci it won’t be. I want him to know that I would be there to help him out and support him, to talk to him when he needed it. I guess he just doesn’t want that from a relationship. I’ll just have to settle for being his friend and doing these things for him.
I think he wants to experiment with dating Laci just so he’ll know for sure what will happen. He really does expect me to sit around and wait for him to pull his head out of his ass. I don’t want to do that. It makes me feel degraded and second best, the sad thing is, I might end up doing that without realizing it.
I’m not interested in anyone else right now, I wish I was, but I’m not. I hope someone else will come along, and just help me out, and help me get over him. I think Ryan and I could be really good in a relationship together, but if he wants all his drama plus Laci’s I’m just gonna go ahead tell him I hope for the best, and let him get on with it.