(no subject)

[aptrain]

i can't believe that i'm doing a post.
it's been a very long time.
i got alot of things going thru my head rite now.
susan and i broke up.
ripped me up.
i'm shattered.
it wouldn't be that bad,
if she wasn't with my "bestfriend".
i'm not as mad as i used to be.
i'm still mad.
i'm finally starting to accept it.
it's crazy how much i loved her.
and for her to not care, after a year just kills me.
this summer has flewn by.
not in a good way either.
i wish i could just lay in her arms,
and for her to tell me everything will be ok.
i've only been thru this kind of pain once before.
with caitlin.
i never thought i would let my guard down,
only to be demolished again.
we even got matching tattoos.
we were planning our lives together.
or atleast i was.
i still don't understand what i did so wrong.
or was it an excuse to be with someone else.
how could u walk away from someone
so easily after a year?
when did she fall out of love with me?
when did she start to hate me?
it's still hard to comprehend.
it's still hard to accept.
i'm waiting for the day for her to,
run up to me and tell me she still loves me.
but until that day comes,
i'll hold my breath.
maybe i'll die.
the pain will go away.