Hi, it's me again.
Well, It's still been forever since I wrote in this fucker. I'm going to be a little more assertive about that. LOL. Anyways.
Things at school...are..... ok... I just got through doing my opera workshop performance which was a real hit for me ( I think at least) I have a solo in the dance concert, still loosing a little weight time and time again. My voice teacher wants me to do NATS (a vocal competition). In terms in voice and dance I'm starting to kick a little ass.
I found out about 2 weeks ago that I got accepted at UNCG.
...You probably are wondering why that previous statement was not a size 6 in bold fonts and exclimation marks. Look at the statement above that and you'll see the problem. I don't think anyone could understand it. Hell, even I don't understand it. I mean bigger school, HELLA diverse, kick ass music department. What's there not to go with. I have until May until I decide, but I already know that i'm going to decline it. I'm doing so well with my voice teacherr. so well in the music department and the dance department. I don't want to start all over and stuggle to meet new people. After all, artsy fartsy performer's are more bitchy than straight athletes who think they are all that but can't win a single game( Seriously, believe it or not).
As for the social life here. I have my few friends here and there. I still think people are kind of scared of me due to the fact that i'm starting to be myself a little more. Strange, the other gay guy at my school doesn't seem to give a fuck and I guess i'm trying to attempt that. Sofar I think it's working. I'm trying to not let the little things get to me. Like the fact that i'm not worthy enough for people to acknowlege me or say hey to me. They look at me like i'm some stranger. Or not writing on my facebook or myspace with the I heart you shit. It's like i'm not appreciated and i'm going What the hell did I do wrong? The good thing is i'm training myself to get in to this " You don't need people, you've got a career to build mode" which is a nicer term for saying " You need to keep yourself busy so it doesn't look like you have a poor social life ". I guess as time goes by I see myself becoming this prim and proper bastard that looks down on getting drunk, screaming yelling and the typical college party life. I guess it's due to the fact that i'll never experience that. As overrated as it is anyway. With the bullshit the students are throwing at me all i'm telling myself is "2 more years 2 more years, NYU NYU"
NYU is where I want to do grad at by the way. I'm not saying that the fact i'm not important enough to be acknowledged or someone to knock on my door once in a while doesn't bother me. I mean, it hurts a little bit..ok.. it hurts ALOT, but I see myself saying at the same time " Well Maurio, bitching is going to do anything about it, you can't sit and moan and plan a funeral when that shit happens. You'll live." So I see myself not bitching, not fishing for compliments. I just shake my head brush it off and continue what I was doing. That's kind of a sucky way to look at life but it's better than moping around. I guess you could say that i'm making the best out of an impossible situation. Transfering would be too easy and would only cause more shit. As easy as it seems.
I don't really care from Greensboro College. Y'know it's not so much the school. It's the fucking students. Oh and by the way.
NO I'M DON'T HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. NO I DO NOT DO COCAINE. IT'S CALLED BURNING MORE CALORIES AND EATING LESS. PLAIN AND FUCKING SIMPLE. IT'S CALLED RUNNING YOUR ASS OFF AND WORKING OUT. I WORK..ALOT... THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING SKINIER BY THE MONTH. School bullshit.
Wow..I'm thinking i'm starting to come to terms with things. This time last year I was at my dorm window getting ready to jump. Look at me now, I don't give a shit any more. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Things at school...are..... ok... I just got through doing my opera workshop performance which was a real hit for me ( I think at least) I have a solo in the dance concert, still loosing a little weight time and time again. My voice teacher wants me to do NATS (a vocal competition). In terms in voice and dance I'm starting to kick a little ass.
I found out about 2 weeks ago that I got accepted at UNCG.
...You probably are wondering why that previous statement was not a size 6 in bold fonts and exclimation marks. Look at the statement above that and you'll see the problem. I don't think anyone could understand it. Hell, even I don't understand it. I mean bigger school, HELLA diverse, kick ass music department. What's there not to go with. I have until May until I decide, but I already know that i'm going to decline it. I'm doing so well with my voice teacherr. so well in the music department and the dance department. I don't want to start all over and stuggle to meet new people. After all, artsy fartsy performer's are more bitchy than straight athletes who think they are all that but can't win a single game( Seriously, believe it or not).
As for the social life here. I have my few friends here and there. I still think people are kind of scared of me due to the fact that i'm starting to be myself a little more. Strange, the other gay guy at my school doesn't seem to give a fuck and I guess i'm trying to attempt that. Sofar I think it's working. I'm trying to not let the little things get to me. Like the fact that i'm not worthy enough for people to acknowlege me or say hey to me. They look at me like i'm some stranger. Or not writing on my facebook or myspace with the I heart you shit. It's like i'm not appreciated and i'm going What the hell did I do wrong? The good thing is i'm training myself to get in to this " You don't need people, you've got a career to build mode" which is a nicer term for saying " You need to keep yourself busy so it doesn't look like you have a poor social life ". I guess as time goes by I see myself becoming this prim and proper bastard that looks down on getting drunk, screaming yelling and the typical college party life. I guess it's due to the fact that i'll never experience that. As overrated as it is anyway. With the bullshit the students are throwing at me all i'm telling myself is "2 more years 2 more years, NYU NYU"
NYU is where I want to do grad at by the way. I'm not saying that the fact i'm not important enough to be acknowledged or someone to knock on my door once in a while doesn't bother me. I mean, it hurts a little bit..ok.. it hurts ALOT, but I see myself saying at the same time " Well Maurio, bitching is going to do anything about it, you can't sit and moan and plan a funeral when that shit happens. You'll live." So I see myself not bitching, not fishing for compliments. I just shake my head brush it off and continue what I was doing. That's kind of a sucky way to look at life but it's better than moping around. I guess you could say that i'm making the best out of an impossible situation. Transfering would be too easy and would only cause more shit. As easy as it seems.
I don't really care from Greensboro College. Y'know it's not so much the school. It's the fucking students. Oh and by the way.
NO I'M DON'T HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. NO I DO NOT DO COCAINE. IT'S CALLED BURNING MORE CALORIES AND EATING LESS. PLAIN AND FUCKING SIMPLE. IT'S CALLED RUNNING YOUR ASS OFF AND WORKING OUT. I WORK..ALOT... THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING SKINIER BY THE MONTH. School bullshit.
Wow..I'm thinking i'm starting to come to terms with things. This time last year I was at my dorm window getting ready to jump. Look at me now, I don't give a shit any more. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.