ashley, the bitch.

[apswirl17]

so i have nothing really to write this entry about. no new insights, absolutely nothing of interest. fun times. btw, christmas is this saturday, as in today is wednesday and in three days it will be christmas. holy crap. i feel like at brandeis, aka, jew land, it's really easy to forget about christmas coming. sometimes in the midst of stressing about finals (mind you, mucho stress), i would sit around and romanticize christmas. my imagined christmas was surrounded in this golden glow of nostalgia. like all my memories were misted over and perfected. i thought of stringing popcorn, baking cookies, drinking hot chocolate by the fire. sigh. i'm coming to the slow realization that my christmas is going to suck some major ass. major ass. so tomorrow they're going to go into my knee and fix it. this is not a cry for pity for anyone who actually reads this, i'm just freaking out about it. i'm not going to be able to play volleyball for 6 months, and my one happy expectation of vacation (the promise of christmas) is going to suck balls. i'm going to spend all day on the couch, my leg strapped in this contraption that bends it continuously and that will be me for at least 6-8 hours ("maybe even 10" says the condescending guy who came over today to bring the machine and massive knee brace). my dad kept interjecting, repeating bits of knowledge that the guy (peter) had bestowed upon us, like i was some sort of simpleton. i loved how my dad kept stressing things i shouldn't do, like i'm idiot who wants to fuck up my knee even more -- like i'm not going to be extra super careful to get better as soon as possible. and every five minutes, he will bring it up. "wow so 6-8 hours", says dad. "yes," i reply. "that's a long time," he says. "that it is," ashley says. like perhaps my short answers devoid of eye contact would lead a person to believe that maybe i don't want to talk about it. i don't know, maybe? five minutes later: dad says, "i wonder if sara had to use one of those machines." "i don't know dad," i reply without feeling, trying not to get angry. honestly, he thought that i was going to try and walk around without the stupid brace on a wet bathroom floor. do i look like i am the stupidest person to grace the earth? correct answer: no, not the stupidest. of course of course of course i'm not going to do that. that would be the stupidest thing ever. so yay, i could fall and screw up my knee forever. lol, i'm so aggravated.

in completely stupid and trivial news, i'm not allowed to wear anything under this brace (which i will probably end up wearing for many weeks) so i'm just really excited that i get to wear snappy swishy pants for a month/ i don't own snappy swishy pants. 2 of them i think. i'm so bitter. no jeans forever. i know i know least of my worries. whatever still pisses me off. oh and speaking of being pissed off, i feel like this is going to be me for a long time. a complete and total bitch so i'm glad that i'm making people come visit me and i'm just going to be a bitch. i think that is super. super super super.

the other day i heard it was supposed to snow on christmas. more recently, i heard that it was supposed to rain. can i just say wtf. mother nature had better pull some snow out of her ass because it's friggin december, almost january. could we please begin winter - my favorite season for the snow? none of this one inch of confectioners sugar crap. i want the real shit. if i'm going to be living on my couch for many days, could it please just snow so that i could admire and be happy as i gaze out the window? could someone arrange that for me? cool.

lol wow i am such a bitch. it's super awesome. super fucking awesome. have a nice day, y'all.