(no subject)
Right now I am going for minimal movement, except of course the random patterns of my fingertips. I figure if I stay still enough, this wave of sadness will simply pass over me. Accept the sadness, let the sadness fill me up. I will never be good enough. I will never be smart enough, pretty enough, I will never play hard enough. Never isn't one of those non-commital words.
Never.
Let it stand alone in it's glory, on that pedastal in infinite time and space - that black void that is slowly swallowing me whole. I am floating in the darkness. My eyes are peeled open for light. They find none. My hands reach out for something solid and real but they swish through the blackness. That blackness is slowly becoming tangible, trapping my limbs, trapping every strand of hair on my head, leaving my eyes open and unprotected to it's harsh cold. I can't breathe because the darkness is filling my lungs up with lead. I don't have a chance.
Never.
Let it stand alone in it's glory, on that pedastal in infinite time and space - that black void that is slowly swallowing me whole. I am floating in the darkness. My eyes are peeled open for light. They find none. My hands reach out for something solid and real but they swish through the blackness. That blackness is slowly becoming tangible, trapping my limbs, trapping every strand of hair on my head, leaving my eyes open and unprotected to it's harsh cold. I can't breathe because the darkness is filling my lungs up with lead. I don't have a chance.