a white and crumbling princess

[apsaraqueen]

     i have no friggin' clue where this came from. but i'm kind of freaked out by wherever that place is. written for sm_monthly.

Title: A White and Crumbling Princess
 Theme: Nineteen
Genre: Dark/Drama
Version: AU/Manga-ish
Rating: PG-13

Comments

[apsaraqueen]

wow, i am just blown away by the generosity of your review! thank you! i am very shy of treading into a/z territory, but i'm trying very hard to put a new spin on silmil. still don't have the energy for a real epic, so little ficlets like this will have to suffice!

found this more satisfying than most smut

i'm not judging ;D

The details like his always busy fingers and his appreciation for her nakedness just killed me. I had the sense that she was so used to him touching her and doing things like braiding her hair that his actions never pinged as odd. In fact, the entire scenario seemed unremarkable for them except for the conversation.

yes! i hoped the conversation would seem incongruous with their actions. sort of idle curiosity on the part of a senshi who's never shed blood, compared to endymion's youngest general who practically kills for a job. i always see zoi as the most diabolical of the shitennou, deeeeep down, and so he's an excellent interrogator/executioner in my nutty silmil. i can also see ami being surprisingly cerebral and nonjudgmental about this, as compared to the rest of the inners.

he was struck by the way she casually outmaneuvered him

he respects her probably more than any other woman he's ever known, and i wanted to show that zoi sees this as the worthiest thing he could give up :(

He made a choice (I wish I knew what exactly) to sacrifice her in a significant location and manner with as much artistry and care as he could because she deserved that from him. This wasn't an blind act of hate or aggression. He wasn't being controlled.

see, i just don't buy that the shitennou could be so easily brainwashed without good reason for it. so while there may be an element of manipulation, you're absolutely right - this is a conscious choice on his part, and he wants to do it justice, because otherwise he'll just feel himself a butcher. in some ways, it's just as much zoi convincing himself that he's right to do this, that he's not a psychopath, and just trying to find the beauty in something horrible he feels he has to do.

...like i said, i have no idea where this came from, but i HAD to write it, and i'm so so so glad you enjoyed it enough to leave me this lovely comment :) thank you again!