(no subject)
i cant feel. honestly i try and i try and i talk and i think and i drink and i smoke,
and i smoke more and i dont get it. i am fake, practiced, everything i say is rehearsed
and done over and over and i have a measured and timed response to everything.
i dont feel a thing when im telling you lies
and hoping i can get away with it without even knowing it.
you want to see inside me, want to love me, want to know me inside and out
well you will get to the outside easily, and you will see the shell and hear those words and
everything im trained to say. ever have a conversation with me? i go "how are you?" and you go "im good how are you" and i saw "im good how are you".
im a wind up doll because if you asked "how are you" and i say "my fucking life is falling apart because of w, x, y, and z," you arent going to want to see me again. i do what i must to adapt, to survive.
i cant feel. someday id like to, when i have the time, but for the moment i must exist.
i must live with this memory bank of answers and responses.
a push button personality.
and i smoke more and i dont get it. i am fake, practiced, everything i say is rehearsed
and done over and over and i have a measured and timed response to everything.
i dont feel a thing when im telling you lies
and hoping i can get away with it without even knowing it.
you want to see inside me, want to love me, want to know me inside and out
well you will get to the outside easily, and you will see the shell and hear those words and
everything im trained to say. ever have a conversation with me? i go "how are you?" and you go "im good how are you" and i saw "im good how are you".
im a wind up doll because if you asked "how are you" and i say "my fucking life is falling apart because of w, x, y, and z," you arent going to want to see me again. i do what i must to adapt, to survive.
i cant feel. someday id like to, when i have the time, but for the moment i must exist.
i must live with this memory bank of answers and responses.
a push button personality.