And I wonder what you're dreaming, wonder if it's me you're seeing.
Really busy week, though it seems to have flown by. Monday I sat down and created a list of absolutely everything that needed to get done for the GSA this semester, including banners, flyers, events, bake sale, info table, literature, and shirts. Then after Music Theory, (which I got a 94 on the midterm for)a quick meeting with Tom. Seth FROM music theory was making some dickheaded jokes about HIV and being "positive." That kind of thing just upsets my stomach, and I don't even know how to react. Tom pointed out how offensive he was being, and Seth got all shitty about it; told tom to "keep his offenses to himself." Which doesn't really make any sense. I was reminded of that terrible cultish movie "The Room" that Shelby, Lynds, Alex and I went to see: "Keep your stupid comments in your pocket!" What terrible writing, and what a dumbass Seth is.
I think what bothered me most about it was that Parth was sitting with him joking right along. Parth and I are pretty good friends, rather I was under the impression we were. He wouldn't make eye contact with me after that. I actually approached him about it, he promised he didn't hear what Seth had said, but I basically just told him that when hes passive and quiet, he may as well endorse the kind of atmosphere that Seth was creating. He seemed genuinely sorry. It's been a week of random gaybashing honestly.
Alex and Dylan, for example two guys from the honor's lounge, have always been really nice and funny, but they were calling people Faggot the other day with Shelby in the room. She absolutely ripped them up for it, apparently their argument was "What, Bens not in the room, its fine. Its not like anyone is offended." To which she immediately snapped back "IM offender." 3-4 other people in the room agreed, that it bothered them as well. I was honestly really touched by this. It isn't like this group of people was homophobic by any large degree prior to us getting to know eachother, but I do feel like they've grown to care alot more than before. Some even come to meetings and socials, or help me flyer. I got my word in with Dylan and Alex too, when they tried to bring up toe story with me in the room like I wouldn't already have heard it. I think they're scared of me right now, but I had just about had it by that point.
ANYWAYS. After that meeting, basically spent a good 6-7 hours simply working through phonecalls, designing flyers, emailing people, picking out times and dates, all sorts of random things. Then the social. Marcus, Amber and Jackie came again. It really makes me happy to see them come, and I think that it's actually helping Amber be more comfortable with herself. Marcus had had a shittastic day, so he was a bit quiet (well compared to our usual screaming, he was REALLY quiet) but by the time the night ended, I think he was feeling a bit better. It feels really good to have him there; not to get all sappy here, but we pretty much came out to eachother first, and have been there for our entire relationship history. So I guess seein him there, it just feels like I have his support with this venture into ~*~*~STUDENT LIFE~*~*~
Wednesday was kind of frustrating. Mike again had an excuse for Shelby and I. I don't really know what's going on with him, he just keeps slipping farther away. It breaks my heart, because he and Shelby used to be such amazing friends. And he and I were just starting to really get to be closer friends, and it becomes quite clear that theres much more to him than he lets on. I tried talking to him, he assured me he was just busy and that work was kicking his ass. Those one day shifts on sunday, they sure do monopolize the whole week, don't they. It'll be alright. I mostly just worry that hes feeling trapped, and doesn't realize he has an escape.
I could only pop into Globalfest Thursday, I was veryyy sad, it looked really fun. Linda Rapp saw me and we caught up on GSA stuff, she always hugs me when we say goodbye, and it's always just got this slight awkwardness to it, that i just find adorable. She's such a nice woman. Bugged Tom with his fancy new ~*touch screen*~ phone, then headed out. Without amazing food. Shiawase jyanai.
Went out with Kendall Tom and Jay last night to Menjo's.. It was pretty alright. I've never really felt 100% at ease in clubs. But it was a fun night. But I felt the most incredible urge to sleep in my own bed, so I left probably sooner than I should have.
Cleaned my car and went running today, got some school work and some GSA stuff done. Then random can returning and grocery shopping trip. A pretty nice day. Downloaded the new album by Capsule (it's jtechno. I can't help myself. Don't judge. Don't JUDGE.) It's so typically them, but it makes me happy. Perfume has out a new single as well. Oh Japan. Occasional guilty pleasures can be permitted.
Work tomorrow morning. :[
I've been thinking more and more about trying to pick up Japanese again. I think I will definitely come back to it soon, I just wish it was offered at UMD. Ah well. I should get to bed, my thoughts are gettin choppier.
I think what bothered me most about it was that Parth was sitting with him joking right along. Parth and I are pretty good friends, rather I was under the impression we were. He wouldn't make eye contact with me after that. I actually approached him about it, he promised he didn't hear what Seth had said, but I basically just told him that when hes passive and quiet, he may as well endorse the kind of atmosphere that Seth was creating. He seemed genuinely sorry. It's been a week of random gaybashing honestly.
Alex and Dylan, for example two guys from the honor's lounge, have always been really nice and funny, but they were calling people Faggot the other day with Shelby in the room. She absolutely ripped them up for it, apparently their argument was "What, Bens not in the room, its fine. Its not like anyone is offended." To which she immediately snapped back "IM offender." 3-4 other people in the room agreed, that it bothered them as well. I was honestly really touched by this. It isn't like this group of people was homophobic by any large degree prior to us getting to know eachother, but I do feel like they've grown to care alot more than before. Some even come to meetings and socials, or help me flyer. I got my word in with Dylan and Alex too, when they tried to bring up toe story with me in the room like I wouldn't already have heard it. I think they're scared of me right now, but I had just about had it by that point.
ANYWAYS. After that meeting, basically spent a good 6-7 hours simply working through phonecalls, designing flyers, emailing people, picking out times and dates, all sorts of random things. Then the social. Marcus, Amber and Jackie came again. It really makes me happy to see them come, and I think that it's actually helping Amber be more comfortable with herself. Marcus had had a shittastic day, so he was a bit quiet (well compared to our usual screaming, he was REALLY quiet) but by the time the night ended, I think he was feeling a bit better. It feels really good to have him there; not to get all sappy here, but we pretty much came out to eachother first, and have been there for our entire relationship history. So I guess seein him there, it just feels like I have his support with this venture into ~*~*~STUDENT LIFE~*~*~
Wednesday was kind of frustrating. Mike again had an excuse for Shelby and I. I don't really know what's going on with him, he just keeps slipping farther away. It breaks my heart, because he and Shelby used to be such amazing friends. And he and I were just starting to really get to be closer friends, and it becomes quite clear that theres much more to him than he lets on. I tried talking to him, he assured me he was just busy and that work was kicking his ass. Those one day shifts on sunday, they sure do monopolize the whole week, don't they. It'll be alright. I mostly just worry that hes feeling trapped, and doesn't realize he has an escape.
I could only pop into Globalfest Thursday, I was veryyy sad, it looked really fun. Linda Rapp saw me and we caught up on GSA stuff, she always hugs me when we say goodbye, and it's always just got this slight awkwardness to it, that i just find adorable. She's such a nice woman. Bugged Tom with his fancy new ~*touch screen*~ phone, then headed out. Without amazing food. Shiawase jyanai.
Went out with Kendall Tom and Jay last night to Menjo's.. It was pretty alright. I've never really felt 100% at ease in clubs. But it was a fun night. But I felt the most incredible urge to sleep in my own bed, so I left probably sooner than I should have.
Cleaned my car and went running today, got some school work and some GSA stuff done. Then random can returning and grocery shopping trip. A pretty nice day. Downloaded the new album by Capsule (it's jtechno. I can't help myself. Don't judge. Don't JUDGE.) It's so typically them, but it makes me happy. Perfume has out a new single as well. Oh Japan. Occasional guilty pleasures can be permitted.
Work tomorrow morning. :[
I've been thinking more and more about trying to pick up Japanese again. I think I will definitely come back to it soon, I just wish it was offered at UMD. Ah well. I should get to bed, my thoughts are gettin choppier.