(no subject)
So basically everything is piling into this next week here. Trying my best to keep my head above water, but it's becoming increasingly difficult.
The worst part is it's happening AGAIN. I become swamped with work and school and responsibilities; and suddenly everyone is convinced I no longer like them or want to be around them. I don't understand why I cant just seem to convey that I honestly can't find time, and when I have time, I am generally just trying to collect my thoughts and gain energy for the next bout of garbage to come.
I feel like I am letting people down and that I am just a bad friend. But at the same time, many purposefully pressure and guilt the hell out of me. Which only works me up, upsets me, and makes it that much harder; because then I have this new RESPONSIBILITY, of hanging out with them. It no longer can be a fun event anymore, because I am trying to prove my feelings and cares for them, rather than just enjoy their company.
Maybe I need to just go live under a rock. Then I won't piss anyone off.
The worst part is it's happening AGAIN. I become swamped with work and school and responsibilities; and suddenly everyone is convinced I no longer like them or want to be around them. I don't understand why I cant just seem to convey that I honestly can't find time, and when I have time, I am generally just trying to collect my thoughts and gain energy for the next bout of garbage to come.
I feel like I am letting people down and that I am just a bad friend. But at the same time, many purposefully pressure and guilt the hell out of me. Which only works me up, upsets me, and makes it that much harder; because then I have this new RESPONSIBILITY, of hanging out with them. It no longer can be a fun event anymore, because I am trying to prove my feelings and cares for them, rather than just enjoy their company.
Maybe I need to just go live under a rock. Then I won't piss anyone off.