[Fic] Even if I die one day, the night will show the stars [4/?]
Title: Even if I die one day, the night will show the stars [4/?]
Characters: Nishikido Ryo (NEWS/K8), Nishijima Takahiro (AAA), Tomohisa Yamashita(NEWS)
Genre: Romance, multichap, character death
Rating: PG
Summary: This fic is based on Tegomass song, Yoru was hoshi wo nagamete okure(The night will show the stars), the one they perform in LIVE3X con. I suggest you listen to the song while reading.
A/N: Nissy is one of the main character, maybe more important than Yamapi. The cute awesome guy needs more love XDDD
**************************************************************
Brownish leaf landed on his hand which he hold dearly before letting it fall on the ground, back to where it originally belong. It will not be long before the leaf will decompose and become one with the earth. And in it's place's, a new plant will be born. The cycle was important for the survival of every species living on earth.
Ryo squatted, his long thin fingers played with the leaves on the ground. Although he never talk about it, he sometimes thought about why god chose him to get this fatal disease. Because of it, he can’t even remember who he was. Even when he called his name out loud, it sounded strange. Ryo. It felt like someone else’s name. When he looked at his own pictures, he will unconsciously touched parts of his body; just to make sure he has the same short slick hair, the exact big defined nose or, the…uhh..sexy jaw, as what Nissy declared, or the ever pointed chin. It was always the same. He didn’t let his hair grow an inch from how it was in the picture but still, he can’t make the connection.
His eyes quickly followed as the wind blew the brownish leaves away from where he was. Go, go away leaves, quickly become fertilizer and let other tree grow. Ryo stood up; he realized he has to grab his chance before he too died and let other people have the chance to being born and experience a life. His steps gradually becoming faster as he was nearing a big café at the end of the road. Just when his heart was about to rest, it clenched once again when he saw the name of the café proudly carved on its wooden wall.
“Nishiki.” His lips trembled reading the name. That’s when it all came to his sense. He was only the replacement for Yamapi’s lover. Yamapi said they shared the same name. Yamapi spoke lovingly of how they looked the same. Yamapi always looked into him with gentle eyes; just because he only sees his lover in him, he never loves Ryo for real. Ryo was stupid to believe he was actually loved.
His mind screamed for him to go, to run far away from there and never come back. But his heart refused to give it up. There’s no use running. No, he just doesn’t have the time to be running. If he didn’t face him right now, there will be no other time. He wanted to know the truth; no matter how much the truth will shatter his heart to pieces. Without him realizing it, he was already in the café, eyes darting around, searching. Part of him relieved that he didn’t saw the person he was looking for in the café crowded with people. Maybe he was indeed not ready.
He walked to the single table at the far end of the café. While waiting, he took the time to observe the surrounding. Yamapi said he own a humble café, what a stupid lie. The interior design of the café, even it still maintained the traditional element, still looked exclusive yet heartwarming. It’s a perfect place for a family to dine together. After a moment, he sensed someone standing in front of him. Thinking it was the waiter, Ryo looked up;
“Yamashita…san,” he said stunned. Yamapi, to Ryo, looked overly happy; as happy as a person can get. He looked like he might hug Ryo out of blue.
“Nishikido-san,” Yamapi spoke. He sat on the chair facing Ryo. His eyes can’t leave Ryo, like his smile can’t be wipe out from his face.
“I can’t believe you are here. God, are you really here? I…I…its…is it really you? I’m not imagining things right?” he sound so sincere that Ryo just want to shook the horrible thought away.
“Yeah, I’m just me though. Not…your lover,” Ryo said slowly. Soft gasp escaped Yamapi’s lips as his expression quickly changed. He looked down at his hand on the table.
“What do you mean?” Yamapi asked, though he knew exactly what he meant.
“You said you love me.”
“I do,” Yamapi looked up at Ryo’s face again.
“If my name is not Ryo, if my face is not the same as your lover, would you still love me?” Ryo asked finally. It came out as a shock to Yamapi although he has been expecting this. Ryo was not stupid, he was his lover.
“Ryo…”
“Don’t call me as you call your lover! I’m not him!” Ryo snapped. He was nearly in tears.
“I am a selfish person; I don’t want to share you with anyone. When I like someone, I want them all for myself,” he continued. Yamapi can’t held himself anymore after what Ryo said. He stood up so suddenly and pulled Ryo outside from the backdoor. Once they were outside, Ryo struggled to break free. Yamapi let him go at once. Ryo started walking away slowly along the narrow alley with Yamapi following him from behind. He was keeping his distance just a little further behind him.
“I love you for you are, Nishikido-san,” Yamapi said. He lifted his head to see Ryo’s reaction but can’t find any. He thought for seconds that Ryo might not hear him but they were so close that a whisper might even reach Ryo’s ear.
“Even if I’m going to die?” Ryo asked, stopping so suddenly. “Even if I only had a little time left?”
Yamapi reached out his hand to touch Ryo’s long sleeve. When Ryo didn’t deny him, he pulled Ryo around to look at him.
He would have embraced him if not because of a bicycle that came out of blue from behind, so fast and knocked Ryo down. He would have had him in his arms by then if not because of Ryo hit his head on the stone pavement and bleed. And they will have a happy ending if only, Ryo actually stop bleeding and didn’t blacked out.
* * *
“Nishikido-san is lacking in the blood clotting factor, a disease called hemophilia. In fact, every cell in his body is deteriorating because of the vast amount of free radical cells that cause extensive DNA damage and shut down mitochondria, the energy factory. That’s why even when he’s only wounded a little; it can cause massive bleeding.”
“Free radical cell?”
“A molecule with missing electron. It’s chemically reactive and highly unstable. Can cause by high toxicity in body or long time exposure to dangerous chemical.”
Yamapi remembered looking at the doctor blankly refusing to listen to what he said. Cause it all didn’t make sense at all to him. Ryo was always the healthy person who was more snarky than anyone he ever met. He always be grinning so wide at him when they were together and loved to call Yamapi’s name in the loud voice of him. He didn’t show any sign of being sick at all. It was downright impossible.
“Why is this happening to you?” Yamapi asked the sleeping man. “Most importantly, why are you keeping this from me?” Yamapi hold Ryo’s hand tightly under the cover. Its coldness scared him so much; so much that he didn’t want to let go of his hand ever. Ryo’s complexion was so pale. His body was very weak; due to the lacking amount of energy produce by mitochondria, the doctor said. What about it that make sense? Yamapi thought in grief. Ryo’s body has becoming very thin that all Yamapi can feel was skins and bones. Little by little the tears he's been holding back fall down his cheek.
“This is no reason for you to keep yourself from me,” he cried hard. He put his forehead on Ryo’s hand. How he wanted for him to wake up so bad.
“Just believe in me even if you don’t remember me,” he whispered. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Yamapi quickly brushed his tears away. He let go of Ryo’s hand and stood up.
“Come in,” he said. The door slid open revealing Nishijima. He watched Yamapi for a moment before walked into the room hesitantly. He sat on the plastic chair at the other side of the bed. Gently, he brushed Ryo’s bang that was covering a small part of his eyes away.
“Hello, there,” he greeted him smiling.
“What did the doctor said?” he then asked Yamapi who kept silent all the time.
“He was hemophilic, like you told me,” Yamapi answered in dismay. It was clearly shown on his face.
“Ryo is only one in a million people that suffer from all the excessive chemical released in Japan. The price to pay to be a high tech country,” Nishijima stated. Yamapi answered him with silence. He was completely blank of what to think.
“He came to me today and said that he loves me too. You don’t know how happy I am to hear that,” Yamapi said suddenly. “ But, every time when I thought it’s going to be fine, it was always not fine. It makes me wonder if the way I’m forcing my feeling into him only makes him suffer.”
“Actually, after he met you I can finally see him smiling honestly. Its been such a long time since I saw him smiling like that,” Nishijima said. Yamapi looked up at Nishijima.
“Sometimes he told me; not remembering when or where he was born makes him feels like he’s not real. I knew what he need is more than friend, because there’s always a secret that one can’t tell even the closest friend ever. But there shouldn’t be secrecy between lovers, between a couple, or a husband and wife; the one you share your life with.”
“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” Nishijima said and left.
Yamapi once again took Ryo’s hand in him and gripped on it tightly. It was still cold, but he wanted to give him his warmth until he was warm again. He felt his heartbeat. It was slow, but his heart was still beating. He felt there’s hope.
“Ryo, wake up and say you love me again. I want to hear it again. Wake up please,” Yamapi begged. Yet, there were still no response coming from Ryo. Minutes must have passed when he felt Ryo’s fingers moving. Yamapi felt so relieved. He tightened his grip; to tell Ryo that he was here with him.
“Ryo,” Yamapi whispered. Ryo eyelashes fluttered when his name was called. Yamapi palmed his cheek tenderly as Ryo opened his eyes.
“Nishikido-san,”Yamapi said his name again. He let go of his hand in reflex when Ryo turned to the right to look at him. He looked dazed.
“How do you feel?” Yamapi asked. He can’t help but smiled at him.
“Bad,” was all Ryo managed to speak. His voice so low and raspy it hardly can be heard. Yamapi poured him a cup of water then help him drink. Ryo only took a sip before shook his head once. Slowly, Yamapi help him lie down on his bed again. Ryo felt his bandaged forehead and the memory of being knocked down rushed into his head. Then, he remembered his confession to Yamapi before the incident and he started blushing like mad. He looked away immediately.
“You must have knew by now…my disease,” Ryo said unexpectedly, still looking away.
“Yes,” Yamapi answered.
“So, why are you still here?” Ryo asked him. He shifted on the bed so he was looking at Yamapi again, seeking for the answer he was looking for.
“I love you for who you are. No matter what your condition is, I still want to be by your side,” Yamapi said.
“Really? You are not lying?” Ryo asked again. Yamapi leaned closer to him and nodded.
“Will you kiss me?” Ryo asked shyly.
Yamapi looked at him in disbelief. His heart was filled with happiness that can’t be described by words. It didn’t take him long to get up from the chair and sat on the bed beside Ryo. He can see Ryo’s face reddened as he slowly lowering his head down. As gentle as possible, Yamapi caressed Ryo soft cheek with his fingers. Ryo closed his eyes tightly when their lips are about to touch. Yamapi smiled at Ryo cute antic before he too closed his eyes and brought their lips together. Ryo’s lips, although dried and slightly chapped felt so nice, so addictive. It immediately brought tears to Yamapi’s eyes. Sensing this, Ryo lifted his head a bit to lean more into the kiss. Caressing Ryo’s cheek for the last time, Yamapi nibbled on his lower lips and let it go altogether.
Nishijima closed the door again very slowly as not to disturb the two person inside. He sat on the chair placed outside the room. Without him realizing, he was smiling and crying at the same time.
“What am I doing? Ryo’s going to be very mad at me when he remembers,” he laughed, wiping his tears at the same time. At the same time, his phone rang.
“Misako…” he cried.
“Are you okay?” Ryo asked when they had parted. Yamapi nodded. “I’m just so happy,” he said.
“Thank you. I don’t know if I had did it before, but -this felt like my first kiss,” Ryo said honestly. Yamapi looked at him sadly. We had kissed many times before; you don’t remember any of it?
“Yamashita-san?”
“Ahh, nothing. I’m your first, I’m sure of it,” Yamapi said cheerfully. Ryo laughed.
“So full of yourself,” Ryo said. Yamapi just laughed. It doesn’t matter, I will always be your first. No matter how many times we were apart, I will always be your first in everything.
“What Nishijima-san is doing taking so long in the toilet?” Yamapi wondered.
“Nissy is here?!” Ryo asked surprised. Yamapi nodded.
“Thank god he didn’t walk in on us. He will tease me non-stop for sure,” Ryo said horrified.
“Nah, he won’t. He’s a good friend, isn’t he?”
“Yes, the best of friend one can ever wish for.” Just then, the door slid open revealing Nishijima.
“Nissy!” Ryo squealed like a child.
“Yo! You looked as healthy as a person can be. So, stop being lazy and go to work!” Nishijima teased.
“Oh, great. Tell me again why I’m friend with you?”
“Because I’m the great Nishijima duh. By the way, I stopped by the doctor's room and he said Ryo can go back today,” Nishijima said.
“Really, isn’t it wonderful? That’s good, Nishikido-san,” Yamapi said.
“Yeah, I’m kinda sick with hospital anyway,” Ryo said, already pulling the cover off him and get down the bed. But as his feet touched the floor, he lost his balance and nearly fell. Both Yamapi and Nishijima rushed forward to prevent him from falling. Nishijima get to him first and help him to stand up again. It was a small thing, but Yamapi didn’t know why his heart ached at the moment. He quickly shook the feeling away. He took Ryo’s clothes and hand it to him.
“Go and change now,” Yamapi said.
“Thanks,” Ryo smiled at him. He then went to the bathroom with Nishijima. Yamapi eyed them until they both went into the bathroom.
Yamapi was still staring at the closed bathroom door, not understand anything of why his heart throbbed painfully in his chest. Yamapi proceeded to gather Ryo and his things while waiting for them to finish. It doesn’t make sense. Was it jealousy? Why would he get jealous with Nishijima? Nishijima might have help Ryo changed many times before. He might have seeing Ryo naked…Yamapi’s eyes immediately fixed on the bathroom door again. This can’t be, no one can’t see Ryo naked! While his heart and mind arguing, his feet already took a step towards the bathroom. But the door opened at the exact moment thus he stopped and turned back awkwardly. He felt so stupid at the time.
“Yamashita-san?” Ryo called. Yamapi turned around to face him. Ryo was already changed but Nishijima was still holding him, which didn’t help with Yamapi’s condition at all.
“Yeah?” Yamapi responded. Ryo walked closer to him and clasped his hand with Yamapi.
“Nissy can bring me home. We will meet again later ok?” Ryo said. Yamapi took a glance at Nishijima and back at Ryo.
“I have told him everything, its -unavoidable,” Ryo said embarrassed. Yamapi felt like hugging him at the time. Shy Ryo was so cute.
“Ok I guess,” Yamapi said finally.
“See you again,” Ryo grinned. Nishijima bowed and they turned around to exit the room.
“Ano…” both of them stop. They looked at Yamapi who was still standing inside the room.
“Can I be the one who bring Nishikido-san home?”
To be continued…
A/N: Sorry again *sighs* seriously i try to update fast but i just changed work and i seriously need to please my new boss, by being super hardworking, you know it.
Hemophilia is a actually a hereditary disease, so forgive me for giving fake facts *bows* and you all might get how i love making Yamapi and Nissy fighting for ryo. Cause I just love to pair Ryo with everyone XDDD