[One shot] - Anata ga tonari ni iru dake de
Title: Anata ga tonari ni iru dake de.
Pairing: Ryopi
Genre:*O god, let this be fluff*
Summary: Ryo will always be there for Yamapi, but Yamapi want Ryo to open himself more to him.
A/N: This fic is dedicated for cipherstar , yayyyy!!! Do your best in final~ I’m really sorry if it’s not fluffy enough, I really can’t imagine ryopi + fluff = ???
….ok, I admit! It’s not fluffy at all. It somehow became angst fic X( you can kill me AFTER read this.
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Yamapi felt like bursting. No matter how tired or busy he was, he had to keep smiling, looking fresh because that’s how Yamapi the super idol should be. But inside, he couldn’t possibly be in good mood all the time. He’s a human and he can feel tired and frustrated too. Being a professional idol he was, even if he’s being shouted by the choreographer, or attacked by crazy fan girls, he will always smile. It’s like his own emotion is not important at all. At time like this, he hope to be with one person who could make him feel like human, the one who understand him the most. The person he called his lover but even that, he seldom met.
“Tadaima,” Yamapi said slowly. Not that he expecting anyone to greet him home when he live alone. He sat on the floor in the dark room, lazily took off his shoes and sighed for he didn’t know how many times already. His busy, non-stop schedule has been draining most of his energy. But Yamapi was not complaining because he knew he can’t live without lots of work in hand. Finished taking off his shoes, he arranged it neatly in the shoe rack. He prepared to get up but stopped when he heard a voice.
“Okaeri.”
Yamapi immediately get up and switched on the light. He knew very well that voice, it managed to make him happy and excited no matter how tired he is.
“Ryo-chan!” he said cheerfully. The said man was lying on Yamapi’s bed looking dead tired as he was. Yamapi ran to the bed and jumped on the said man. Although Yamapi was nearly crushing him, Ryo just let him. They haven’t seen each other for a long time already. Ryo just finished his work at Osaka and will be working at Tokyo starting tomorrow.
“Ryo, why you don’t tell me you were back already?” Yamapi whimpered. He cuddled as close as possible beside Ryo although there was a lot of space on the bed left.
“Hmm…” Ryo turned around to face Yamapi. Once he saw the face of his lover, he smiled wide.
“So good to see you,” Ryo whispered and pecked Yamapi’s lips. Yamapi lifted his weight a bit so he hovered over Ryo. The older man looked so exhausted. Yamapi stroked his hollow cheeks tenderly.
“You look thinner every time I see you,” Yamapi said worriedly.
“Believe me, you are not that great either,” Ryo answered with a grin.Yamapi laughed. He leaned down to capture Ryo’s lips in a kiss. Ryo wrapped his hand around Yamapi’s neck and replied more eagerly. After a while, they let go and Yamapi lied down beside Ryo again. He shifted his position a bit so he can hide his face in Ryo’s chest. Ryo put his hand around Yamapi’s shoulder and his back. He patted his back gently.
“Now, go to sleep. I know you are having a really bad day,” Ryo whispered. Yamapi wanted to argue. He wanted to spend more time with Ryo but his eyes defied him. Ryo hummed a song like a sweet comforting lullaby filling his head. Slowly, his closed his eyes and for the first time in a week, he slept soundly like a baby.
* * *
Yamapi was debating whether to call or not. He knew if he called, Ryo will come no matter what. Yamapi put down the food he bought at combini and sat in front of his apartment door. He stared at his phone for a while. From his calling list, Ryo’s number was the first one. He just has to push the call button. But, he didn’t have the heart to disturb the older man. It’s already late and Ryo might be tired with his own problem too. Yamapi put his head between his knees.
“Staring at the phone won’t make it calling me,” Ryo said suddenly. Yamapi looked up in disbelieved. He saw the real Ryo standing in front of him. Ryo lowered his body until they were at the same level. Yamapi felt all his problems suddenly grew wings and fly away.
“How do you know…” Yamapi can’t finish his question.
“I just know. Pi, will you promise me one thing?” Ryo asked. His gaze locked on Yamapi.
“What?”
“That you will call me whenever you want. If you have a problem or when you are sad, even if you just miss me or just need someone by your side. Please don’t hesitate to call me, because I’ll always be by your side. Will you promise me that?” Ryo asked again.
Yamapi nodded slowly. Ryo smiled. He reached out his hand to cup Yamapi’s cheeks.
“I hope you will always smile, because when you are smiling, only then I can smile too.”
Yamapi watched as Ryo took the place beside him. Yamapi put his head on Ryo’s shoulder and took Ryo’s hand in his, gripping it tight. It took him a while to start talking. Ryo didn’t force him instead waited patiently beside him.
“Actually, just having you by my side is enough. Thank you, Ryo,” Yamapi said at last.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I guess I just wanted to see you,” Yamapi said, lifting his head from Ryo’s shoulder. He sat facing the older man.
“What about you?”
“Me? I’m okay. I’m the invincible Ryo. Nothing can bug me,” Ryo said confidently.
“Yeah, right,” Yamapi said and both of them laughed.
“There’s just this…”
They continued filling the unspoken need for each other. Yamapi will talk and Ryo will listen. The rare times they get to be together, it’s always the same. Some times, Yamapi wanted Ryo to tell his problems too. He always looks like he’s about to break. But, in the end Ryo never tell a word to Yamapi. The way ryo convincingly dodging the talk about him self won’t fool Yamapi, thus he wait for the time Ryo will finally let loose of his own feelings for him. He will wait, no matter how long it will take.
* * *
That day NEWS was filming music station. They were having their first 6 member activities after a while. Yamapi was excited for the activity with other members, especially when he gets to spend more time with one special person called Nishikido Ryo. He woke up that morning feeling so refreshed. After arriving at the studio he immediately searched for Ryo and found him at NEWS room. Yamapi’s heart went doki doki and he quietly slipped into the room to surprise the older man.
Fortunately Ryo was the earliest to arrive and no other members yet in the room. Ryo seemed busy reading a magazine he didn’t realized Yamapi coming from behind.
“Ryo-chan!” Yamapi shouted and wrapped his arms around Ryo’s shoulder.
“Oh, shit! Pi!!!” Ryo yelled. Yamapi was so lucky he was his boyfriend or else he’s so dead. Yamapi gave him apologetic look and sat beside Ryo. Ryo sighed.
“Ryo, are you okay?” Yamapi asked. Typical question. And Yamapi knew the answer.
“I’m okay. Just sleepy. I woke really early this morning,” Ryo yawned through his words. Yamapi noticed dark circle around his eyes. He was obviously sleeping late.
“Come on, sleep here a bit. I’ll wake you up when we nearly start,” Yamapi patted the place on his lap while he spoke. Ryo gladly used Yamapi’s lap as his pillow and not long after he already sleeping on Yamapi’s lap. Yamapi poked Ryo’s soft cheeks while he slept.
‘So cuutee~’ he thought. A smile formed on his lips. Yamapi then leaned down to kiss Ryo many times.
“Ahemm! Leader,” someone coughing made Yamapi quickly lifted his bright red face and looked away. Koyama walked in grinning, followed by Shige.
“Yo!” he greeted, looking indifferently toward Yamapi and Ryo.
“Ohayou, minna-san!” Tegoshi came in next.
“Shhhh!! Ryo-chan’s sleeping!” Koyama put a finger on his lips shushing Tegoshi while pointing to Yamapi. “Oooppss,” Tegoshi jaw dropped but he then squealed quietly and ran to Massu to attack his lap next.
Yamapi was still acting as though he didn’t have a certain Osaka man sleeping peacefully on his lap. After about 15 minutes before they were scheduled to start filming, Yamapi woke Ryo up. Ryo went to the toilet and came back looking fresher than he’s been when he first came. He took back the place beside Yamapi and start repairing his make up.
“Ryo-chan, are you really okay?” Yamapi asked again.
“Yeah, pi. Stop asking that already,” Ryo answered.
“The filming is about to start, please go on standby,” a staff came to announce to them.
“Hai~” Ryo said and covered his unkempt hair with a cap. He stood up and looked at Yamapi who still won’t budge.
“Hurry, we’ve got no time,” Ryo said as other members leaving the room one by one. At last Yamapi stand up too and off they went.
Throughout the filming Yamapi realized Ryo was not being himself. He didn’t talk nor smile at all. Yamapi as usual flashing his million yen smile and speak up throughout the interview. When everything finished, everyone as usual hurriedly excuses themselves. There’s never been ‘the after party’ or ‘going out together’ for NEWS. Yamapi was planning to ask Ryo out but Ryo seemed dazed and uninterested even after the show finished.
When they were walking through an empty corridor to their room, Yamapi cornered Ryo.
“You are not yourself today,” he said as a matter-of-factly. He pushed Ryo more to the hard wall. The small man just stared at him, giving him his devious look which didn’t affect Yamapi at all.
“You always tell me to be happy, to smile but you are not acting your word. What’s going on with you? Don’t give me this shit, Nishikido!” Yamapi said angrily. Ryo then pushed Yamapi with force and started to walk away.
“I’m the leader and I don’t like your attitude that shows no interest in being a NEWS member at all!” Yamapi continued but Ryo still not stopping. Tears fell down Yamapi’s cheeks and he quickly brushed it away. He already swore that he will wait for Ryo so why is he acting like this? Tears fell down again and he only let it this time for he suddenly tired of waiting.
* * *
Yamapi ogled at the glass at his hand. He had drowned himself in tears and rambling non-stop in front of his bff, Akanishi Jin since after what happened that evening.
“Pi, I thought you knew Ryo better than this,” Jin started. He eyed some hot chicks at the end of the bar. But looking back at his heartbroken friend, he decided to stay focused.
“You know he’s not the type to be opened about him self. If there’s something bugging his mind, he won’t tell anyone. He’s more interested in pointing other’s problem than his own,” Jin said more.
“I know, but I’m his boyfriend you know…” Yamapi said, sounding so pitiful to Jin’s ears that he even felt guilty eyeing the chicks instead of solving his best friend’s problem.
“Maybe he’s waiting for you to force yourself diligently into him, to break into his personal space? He’s that kind of idiot who is shy to say what he want without hurting his pride,” Jin said. Yamapi looked at Jin.
“I think you are right,” Yamapi said.
“I am?” Jin asked feeling amused of himself.
“I’m going. Thanks for being here for me. I owe you one,” Yamapi get off the chair and turned to go.
“Yeah, sure! What did I just say anyway?” Jin asked himself. His eyes caught the sight of hot chicks from before and he totally forgot about Yamapi.
* * *
It’s already late but Yamapi was standing in front of Ryo’s apartment door. It’s always Ryo who went to Yamapi’s place. Yamapi was either too busy with his jobs or busy thinking about his own selfish self to come. Yamapi rarely come to Ryo’s place even though Ryo had given him the key to his place from when they start dating. Is this what Jin said about Ryo waiting for him to invade his personal space? ->Jin doesn’t even remember saying this *sadly, yeah* Yamapi knew he’s the one being total idiot this whole time.
Yamapi slowly unlocked the door to Ryo’s apartment feeling very nervous and then peered inside. The apartment was dark but the light in Ryo’s room was still on. Yamapi felt unsure and he thought of calling Ryo first. But that way he won’t be invading but he’s asking. And Ryo will answer with no, I’m okay. Yamapi doesn’t want that to happen again. Yamapi walked to Ryo’s room. He wanted to knock but stopped when he heard a sound.
It’s the sound of Ryo crying.
Yamapi felt his heart just fell from its place. He never heard Ryo cried before. It’s more like Ryo never cried in front of him before. Heck, Ryo never show his emotion in front of Yamapi. Ryo was always so tough, so dependable, and so unreachable. Yamapi listened to the sound that slowly, unconsciously ripping him from inside. He placed his hand on mouth to prevent him from cry too. Yamapi walked outside of the apartment, leaning on the wall and speed dialed a number.
“Moshi moshi, pi?” Ryo voice was heard from the other line.
“Ryo…”
“Pi, are you alright?” Ryo asked. Yamapi pressed his hand hard on his mouth. His eyes were already wet with tears. Why Ryo still asked about him when he himself was hurting? Yamapi blocked the receiver, inhaled a huge amount of air and speak.
“Ryo, why are you doing this? Why you never tell me anything about your problem? How do you expect me to rest assured when you are hurting?” Yamapi said composedly. Ryo didn’t answer. Yamapi inhaled again and continued.
“Ryo, I know you are not okay. You are hurting, you are sad and you want to see me. Please say you want to see me. Please,” Yamapi begged. Ryo was still not answering. Yamapi felt his strength began to falter.
“Pi, will you come here?” Ryo agonizing voice was heard through the receiver like a beam of hope in Yamapi’s heart. Yamapi began crying for real. He dashed into Ryo’s apartment without thinking and turned the doorknob of Ryo’s room. Yamapi was met with Ryo’s small naked body tucked under the blanket with his face hidden under the pillow. Ryo removed the pillow from his face and stared at Yamapi unbelievingly. His right hand still holding the phone and his eyes were puffy, red and swollen.
“Pi, you are here…all this time?” Ryo asked, still hard to believe that Yamapi was indeed in his room. Yamapi nodded and walked to where Ryo was.
“You actually come. I thought you will never come,” Ryo said in tears. His sight became blurry, but he knew Yamapi was finally here, right in front of him. Yamapi kneeled in front of the bed looking emotionally at Ryo.
“I’m sorry for being such an idiot. I’m so blind, Ryo,”
“No, you are not. It’s not your fault that I want to protect you,” Ryo said. He shifted further back into the bed, giving Yamapi some space on the bed. Yamapi happily took a place under the blanket beside Ryo. They lie down facing each other.
“I understand if you don’t want to tell me anything. But don’t faced everything alone because I want to be there for you,” Yamapi said.
“I’m so happy. It’s enough just having you by my side. I’m already happy enough.” Yamapi was smiling widely hearing that.
“I really really really wanted to hug you. But I stink of alcohol. And I still don’t take a bath since we finished filming today,”
“God, you are spoiling the mood!” Ryo said and laughed to his heart content. He pushed the blanket away and forced Yamapi to get up.
“Eh, where?!” Yamapi protested. He was just about to get to sleep with Ryo in his bed. It’s his first time sleeping here and Ryo want him to get up? Now, he felt like crying.
“Don’t you want to take a bath first?” Ryo asked.
“With you?” Yamapi asked excitedly. Ryo looked at him like he has gone crazy.
“Just get up, hurry. I’ll prepare the bath tub,” Ryo said brushing Yamapi’s intention away and proceeded to the bath first. Yamapi sulked all the way stomping to the bath room.
Ryo adjusted the water temperature and poured shower foam into the bath tub, while Yamapi intentionally taking off his clothes painfully slow in front of Ryo. Ryo became impatient and took off the rest of Yamapi’s clothes…and his cloth as well, or what was left of his outfit, which was only a boxer. Yamapi grinned happily looking at the good progress of his genius plan. He makes sure Ryo really get into the bath tub before he soaked himself in the water, now full of foams and bubbles.
“You owe me a month sleeping over at my place and special massages!” Ryo retorted.
“Okay, sir!” Yamapi answered playfully. He threw a handful of bubbles at Ryo which landed on his face.
“Pi!!!!!!!!!” Ryo yelled deafening the small space of the bathroom. Yamapi just laughed and threw more bubbles. Ryo was not satisfied, so he collected as big of bubbles as he can and practically buried Yamapi under it.
“You are not playing fair! Now, my precious hair is all wet!!”
“Pi, come here,” Ryo gestured. Yamapi shyly went to Ryo’s side and turned around so his back landed on Ryo’s chest. Ryo put his face on Yamapi’s shoulder and kiss it repeatedly.
“Kiss me,” Ryo said. Yamapi faced to his right and Ryo captured his plump lips into a kiss. After that, Yamapi continue leaning on Ryo’s body.
“It’s getting cold. Let’s get out,” Ryo said which Yamapi just nodded.
* * *
They were back tucked under the blanket after feeling tired throwing bubbles at each other. Ryo pulled Yamapi closer towards him, throwing his arms around him protectively. He inhaled the addictive scent of his lover.
“You smell so good,” Ryo said.
“I smell of your soap, smell like you,” Yamapi mumbled. His eyes nearly closed.
“Bathing really took all my energy,” he continued. Ryo watched in amusement his lover’s eyes wanted to close but Yamapi still wanted to talk.
“Just go to sleep. Dream about me, ok?” Ryo said but found out later that Yamapi already went into a deep slumber. Ryo smiled. He took Yamapi’s hand in his.
“I love you. Just having you by my side completed me. I may never have the courage to say I need you, thank you for being so understanding.” -> its Jin actually.
Ryo kissed Yamapi forehead and he too fell asleep, feeling so happy and complete.
That time it couldn't be expressed in the proper way
Now I can admit it you're my happiness
You...if you just stay by my side
I'm going to protect you
If you just stay here
Only this...
Lyric translation thanks to spilledmilk25
To cipherstar, thank you for being there for me. Ryo and me will cheer for your final! Go, go. Never give up! Ganbatte ikimasshoi~