UPDATE!!!
Ok, so it's been over a month since my last update. Sorry to the few who actually read my updates, although you few who read them more then likely already know what i've been up to the past month so.. I probably don't need to say.. but I will anyways. So get ready because this is gunna be pretty long... lol
So after Nov. 4th...
Well the week after that was good too because I decided to stay at Ty's another week. I didn't go home until the 12th. So I spent our One Month Anniversary at home.. being miserable and stressed. Although it's not like we would have really celebrated our one month... because, well its just one month... our anniversary was Nov. 14th for those who don't know. All we said to each other about it was "Happy one month babe" and "I love you" (short, sweet & simple.)
ok, well I soon find out that he wont have enough gas to come see me the next weekend, due to his car payment. so I had to wait two weeks until the 22nd before I could see him again.
He stayed for thanksgiving at my house and we left on Thursday night for his place once again. I was soo looking forward to another week or two of stress free, wonderful bliss. However I would have never imagined what I was in for towards the middle of the week that followed thanksgiving. Something happened that caused a pretty big upset in our relationship. We talked about it.. but it didn't seem to help any... for a few days we weren't ourselves and everything seemed to be falling apart...
I tried going to my friends for support and advice only to put myself in more suffering. I ended up lying to two of my best freinds in the whole world. I have no idea what came over me... So then not only was my relationship seeming to fall apart.. but also two of my best friends were hurt by my stupid decision to lie. I spent probably three nights in a row crying myself to sleep over it all... Finally I stepped back to think, thankfully those friends were still caring enough to help me realize why I lied. Something I never wanted to admit... Something in me changed for a while. I'm not sure why... perhaps stress at home... then the stress in my relationship on top it off...
It didn't seem to matter though.. I lied... theres no excuse for that. But I had to move on. So that meant I needed to accept what I did. and try and cope the best I could. and hope that one day the two friendships that mean so much to me would once again be back to normal.
A few days after all that drama... things seemed to lighten up... I talked to Ty more and we started to patch things up and begin to get things back the way they were before. Things aren't quite perfect again, but I feel in time they could be. That's all I could hope for.
I do admit that for awhile there I had my doubts about it all... Me and him have had a long history and when things finally start looking good they go bad... but that's really what life is all about.. ups and downs. I can't say that I could be so forgiving if something like what happened occured again, but I have decided to stay put and see where things lead from here.
If not then I know what I will have to do to keep my sanity and dignity safe.
It's kind of funny how things can change so drastically in so little time. It just goes to show that you never know what can happen. Each day brings a new horizon, a new day for change and a fresh page to write another story of your life on. It may be happy, sad, scary, or just plain crazy... but at least you had that day to live and grow.
Some probably think I should move on and don't bother trying to fix things. but I feel that I can't give up now. I still Love him, and I need to know if things can work out. I don't want to ask myself "what if?", years from now... So I want to take every oppurtunity I can get to live life by the horns... and take risks, even if those risks get me hurt. What's life without pain? How would we grow and learn and become wiser if we do not test our strength?
Anyway. I came home today after spending two weeks after thaksgiving at Ty's. My sister, Stephanie is here with her baby, Kailee and will probably be moving in here sometime since her and her bf are probably going to break up. I also found out that my Aunt Pam, whom I havent seen since earlier this year is back in town because she left her husband in Tennessee. I missed her. I got to visit with her today it was fun. She's one of my favorite aunts.
MORE LITTLE TID BITS!
* Life at home would get alot less stressful once my Uncle Bill and his wife move out.. she is sooo annoying! ugh! don't get me started... lol.
* Tomorrow we get to set up our Christmas Tree!!! YAY! lol.
* My kitten got bigger while I was away.. I swear it's like she gained a pound. lol.
Welp.. I think that's all I wanna say for now.. perhaps I will say more in a few days! take care!
*ape*
So after Nov. 4th...
Well the week after that was good too because I decided to stay at Ty's another week. I didn't go home until the 12th. So I spent our One Month Anniversary at home.. being miserable and stressed. Although it's not like we would have really celebrated our one month... because, well its just one month... our anniversary was Nov. 14th for those who don't know. All we said to each other about it was "Happy one month babe" and "I love you" (short, sweet & simple.)
ok, well I soon find out that he wont have enough gas to come see me the next weekend, due to his car payment. so I had to wait two weeks until the 22nd before I could see him again.
He stayed for thanksgiving at my house and we left on Thursday night for his place once again. I was soo looking forward to another week or two of stress free, wonderful bliss. However I would have never imagined what I was in for towards the middle of the week that followed thanksgiving. Something happened that caused a pretty big upset in our relationship. We talked about it.. but it didn't seem to help any... for a few days we weren't ourselves and everything seemed to be falling apart...
I tried going to my friends for support and advice only to put myself in more suffering. I ended up lying to two of my best freinds in the whole world. I have no idea what came over me... So then not only was my relationship seeming to fall apart.. but also two of my best friends were hurt by my stupid decision to lie. I spent probably three nights in a row crying myself to sleep over it all... Finally I stepped back to think, thankfully those friends were still caring enough to help me realize why I lied. Something I never wanted to admit... Something in me changed for a while. I'm not sure why... perhaps stress at home... then the stress in my relationship on top it off...
It didn't seem to matter though.. I lied... theres no excuse for that. But I had to move on. So that meant I needed to accept what I did. and try and cope the best I could. and hope that one day the two friendships that mean so much to me would once again be back to normal.
A few days after all that drama... things seemed to lighten up... I talked to Ty more and we started to patch things up and begin to get things back the way they were before. Things aren't quite perfect again, but I feel in time they could be. That's all I could hope for.
I do admit that for awhile there I had my doubts about it all... Me and him have had a long history and when things finally start looking good they go bad... but that's really what life is all about.. ups and downs. I can't say that I could be so forgiving if something like what happened occured again, but I have decided to stay put and see where things lead from here.
If not then I know what I will have to do to keep my sanity and dignity safe.
It's kind of funny how things can change so drastically in so little time. It just goes to show that you never know what can happen. Each day brings a new horizon, a new day for change and a fresh page to write another story of your life on. It may be happy, sad, scary, or just plain crazy... but at least you had that day to live and grow.
Some probably think I should move on and don't bother trying to fix things. but I feel that I can't give up now. I still Love him, and I need to know if things can work out. I don't want to ask myself "what if?", years from now... So I want to take every oppurtunity I can get to live life by the horns... and take risks, even if those risks get me hurt. What's life without pain? How would we grow and learn and become wiser if we do not test our strength?
Anyway. I came home today after spending two weeks after thaksgiving at Ty's. My sister, Stephanie is here with her baby, Kailee and will probably be moving in here sometime since her and her bf are probably going to break up. I also found out that my Aunt Pam, whom I havent seen since earlier this year is back in town because she left her husband in Tennessee. I missed her. I got to visit with her today it was fun. She's one of my favorite aunts.
MORE LITTLE TID BITS!
* Life at home would get alot less stressful once my Uncle Bill and his wife move out.. she is sooo annoying! ugh! don't get me started... lol.
* Tomorrow we get to set up our Christmas Tree!!! YAY! lol.
* My kitten got bigger while I was away.. I swear it's like she gained a pound. lol.
Welp.. I think that's all I wanna say for now.. perhaps I will say more in a few days! take care!
*ape*