grrrrrishness
this fucking sucks. sitting here in tears all because my boy had to go to bed. why do i do this to myself? why do i get my hopes up like this? prly because ALL day i've been supposed to talk to him. and did he ever call back? not until 9ish and then my fucking phone is fucking messed up. and i'm bored and lonely and i wanted to talkt o him because i havent talked to him for more than ten minutes at a time since i've been back here. this isn't cool. all well. time to watch another movie with julie..we've been watching movies ALLLL day!!!!!! i'm sad, but i can't tell tim that i so desperately need/want to talk to him that as soon as he says he has to go to sleep the tears come..i jsut can't. because its not fair to him...because i've had shit to do just as often when we've been gona talk. but he said he was going to talk this afternoon...and called twice only to leave twice, and i called again, and he said he'd call back in a few minutes..and it was fucking 5 hours later! not that i'm sure its his fault, cuz i'm sure its just that his parents asked him to do stuff and such, but STILL! it irritated me and made me sad. and then we finally get to talk, and i get that he has to go to sleep. HE COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT AN HOUR AGO WHEN HE CALLED!!!! then i would've stoped the movie and come back to it AFTER talking to him. but NOOOOO i dont get that. whatever. i'm just pissed off and sad and shit. i havent missed him this much all fucking year. but i've never gone this long without actually really talking to him either. i'm craving a long conversation that i know will be uniturrepted. but tonight was the last night for that because its prly the last night christie will sleep over matt's. whatever....i'm gona go watch pretty woman with julie and enjoy the movie b/c i've never seen it. so unhappy....