LIFE!!!! ERRRRR! GAH!

Sep 30, 2002 00:40

I don’t understand the concept of going to college. The point of graduating High School is so that you can be on your own and live your life as you’ve always wanted to live it. Going to college is just like starting grade school all over again! Only worse because it’s in depth and you have to know what you want to do with your life! What I want to DO with my life?! HA! I don’t even know what I want to do NOW!
I have a research project on Oscar Wilde due on October 24th, I have to read The Portrait of Dorian Gray, I have to read my ACR book on Ryan White (the first AIDS patient) and I have to fill out college applications.
COLLEGE APPLICATIONS?????!!!! AAH! I can’t get past filling out my name and address! SAT scores? They ask me for SAT scores when I can’t even pass Geometry. SAT...what a waste of time and money. It costs $25 to take the SATs and it’s just a long drawn out test that is supposed to tell you how smart you are. I AM THE ONE PERSON WHO COULD PROBABLY FAIL AN APTITUDE TEST!
MY RELATIONSHIP?? Is wooooooonderful! It’s the best relationship I’ve EVER had....EVER! And I can’t stand that I almost don’t have TIME for it! (?) Just my luck, eh?
Having to find a FINANCIAL SITUATION???? The whole reason that I wanted to go to UNCW was because I knew (or thought I knew) that I had a support a system. But guess who’s not willing to help me get through life? MY FAMILY IN WILMINGTON! My aunt used to be so supportive of me and my dreams and you know, I don’t understand it. We used to be so close. Like best friends. And now she’s too busy to even talk about helping me out. She’s too busy to print out a college application for me.
My family always told me not to marry a dreamer. If everyone tells their children that, then who’s gonna marry me? People discriminate the very thing they love so much. I don’t understand.
I have to type up my manuscript so that I can get into the BFA program at UNCW and I DON’T HAVE TIME! I DON’T HAVE TIME!!!!!
I go to church every Wednesday and Sundays, sometimes and I already had to quit my job because my grades were slipping and that sucks. Now how am I gonna get money for the things I need?
I need $50 for my stupid graduation announcements, $205 for my class ring (which is beautiful by the way) and like $200 more for my stupid senior pictures. $40 for my homecoming dress, God only KNOWS how much for my prom dress and OMG I’M SOOOOOOO STRESSED OUT!
Well....there’s the daily update.
Interesting life I have, eh?
OH! BTW! Nate told me he loved me yesterday. We went to see Silent Revolt (Josh’s band) and Inverted (Chris’s) band play at the Youth Center on base last night coz he came to visit me from Virginia (awwwwwww! he came on a bus, which the ticket is $100) and we had such a great time. He’s so wonderful. It’s about time that I found someone who appreciates me for me and doesn’t expect anything. He left his shorts and shirt here (coz he had to change and take a shower) and they look so good crumpled on my bedroom floor! It’s like he LIVES here and he’s just away on vacation....... *sigh* I wish.
Later
April182
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